Brandon Scott Hole
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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| Brandon Scott Hole | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Session | Aug 20, 2001 - Apr 15, 2021 |
| Highscore | 8 killed, 7 injured |
| Top 50? | lol no |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
| Motive | Autism, My Little Pony |
On April 15 2021, 19-year-old Brandon Hole went tired of being a suicidal, autistic, brony wage slave and went postal, shooting up the FedEx Ground facility in Indianapolis, Indiana. Brandon Scott "A-Hole" killed 8 and injured 7, before ultimately becoming an hero. The motive behind his crusade was true romance and Brandon's deep, passionate, love for his waifu Applejack and his desire to spend eternity with her in the afterlife. With his noble quest in mind, Brandon drove to his former employers at FedEx armed with a rifle and began blasting the fuck out of the filthy casuals in the parking lot. Employees inside the facility were enjoying the relative safety of the gun-free zone, however, they could not call for help as they had to follow a no phone policy. Some argue shitty management are the real ones to blame for this tragedy because of this. Police arrived at 11 pm but it was too late, our warrior of love had already become an hero and his spirit instantly teleported to the My Little Pony realm where he and Applejack will live happily ever after.
It is important to note that Brandon Hole is a representative of the entirety of the brony fandom. Bronies are a threat to national security, and should be shoah'd.
—Brandon Hole | ||
The Backstory
Officials stated the gunman was a former employee of the FedEx facility who was already on law enforcement's radar. His crackwhore trailer mom had warned law enforcement officials between drags on her menthols that he might try to attempt "suicide by cop.” An F.B.I. special agent confirmed that the gunman had been interviewed by federal agents in April 2020, and that he was put on an “immediate detention mental health temporary hold.” He was not charged with a crime, and the agent said that a shotgun was not returned to him, whatever the fuck that means. Thanks for all the details, flat foot. What, did you write all that on a fucking post-it-note??
Mr Hole last worked at the FedEx facility in 2020, perhaps as recently as the fall of last year, said Deputy Chief Craig McCartt of the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department. He said he did not know why Mr. Hole stopped working there, but it has been speculated that it was most likely due to him being an incel who collected pictures of other employees unflushed turds in the restroom instead of doing his job. Once fired, he swore that one day he would return to either complete his fecal photo collection, or kill everyone. Being a man of his word, he chose the latter due to the bathroom being closed for cleaning.
Perhaps funniest (and least surprising) of all was how Hole was a brony who wanted to be with cartoon ponies in the afterlife as opposed to bumming smokes off of Jesus or banging 40 virgins. He was quoted shortly before the shooting saying "I hope that I can be with applejack in the afterlife, my life has no meaning without her." As far as final last words, these ones take the lulz cake as they might be the dumbest thing an hero has said before hitting the delete button IRL and improving the gene pool. You can show your respect by visiting his grave, planting some appleseeds, and taking a huge shit on them for fertilizer.
The Shooting
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The authorities described a Counter-Strike-esque scene at the FedEx facility late last Thursday, when gunfire erupted about 11 PM. Mr. Hole had been huffing Jenkem in the parking lot before he got out, sang the autism national anthem, and started shooting. He did not seem to be after anyone in particular, suggesting that he may have thought he was simply playing a game of Call of Duty while being high on shit fumes. The predominately Sikh employees working at the time Scott probably thought were simply rag-heads he was supposed to kill before they could set the bomb, sparking allegations of racist motives from Law Enforcement and the media as the workforce was 90% Sikh, which is totally not indicative of racist hiring practices at all.
“He just appeared to randomly start shooting,” said Chief McCartt, who said there were at least 100 people at the FedEx location at the time, which means Hole should have achieved a much higher score than he did. However, after clearing the parking lot level of the game, he continued into level 2, the warehouse, where he failed to level up his character and mod his weapon which resulted in him missing several targets, thus resulting in a pathetic final score before hitting the reset button to try again. He's most likely getting Red Bull cans thrown at his head in hell for dragging the LAN party's team score down because he just plain sucks at the game and can't play for shit due to huffing crap his whole life.
Loadout
| Brandon Scott Hole | |
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Graded Score
| Kill count: | 8/20 |
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| Accuracy: | 10/20 8 dead, 7 injured |
| Style: | 5/20 Unoriginal going postal shooting, in a city that has already seen two other High Scores so far in 2021 |
| Butthurt: | 8/20 Moderate amount of butthurt, was quickly forgotten shortly thereafter |
| Bonus: | 0/20 Bronies get 10 points automatically deducted from their score |
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Gallery
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Would you know my name? -
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Autism kills -
Brandon Hole for President of Equestria -
Brandon Hole's Battlestation -
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Exploitable -
The Immaculate Anal Birth conception of Brandon Scatt Hole -
What he expected in Valhalla -
Suppossedly this is him -
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See Also
- Adam Lanza
- An hero
- Assault Rifle
- Gun Control
- High Scores
- Mass Shooting
- My Little Pony
- Nikolas Cruz
- Postal
- Randy Stair
External Links
BrandonHoleFanClub (See removed posts: 1, 2) 
(archive)- WAS BRANDON ON THE SPECTRUM?? FOIA REPORT -
Spoiler Alert: duh - FBI says it interviewed FedEx mass shooter last year - (Wayback Machine) - Now where have we heard that before?
| Brandon Scott Hole is part of a series on Dying Alone
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 Brandon Scott Hole is part of a series on My Little Pony [FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC]
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| Locus in quo: |
Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 |
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| Supporters |
Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews |
| Main ideas: |
Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫 |
| Haters gonna hate: | |
| Acts of revenge: |
Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting |
| Objectors: |
Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫 |
| Pre-2012 Gun Massacres |
Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik |
