MAGABomber
MAGABomber (not to be confused with the Unabrowmer) is the unofficial pseudonym that has been given to an unknown individual or group of individuals who, starting in late October of 2018, began attempting to assassinate prominent members of an obscure, quickly dying American political party known as the Democrats by duct taping a bunch of wires and plastic crap onto pieces of pipe and then hoping that all of their intended targets end up dying of heart attacks upon seeing the devices – a truly ingenious plan, considering that all Democrats are older than slavery and have a tendency to completely freak out over the absolute dumbest shit imaginable. They were quickly outed as frauds, because if they really had the guts to kill Leftards, they would have ventilated their corpses many times over, and then some.
MAGABomber's Reign of Error
On October 22, 2018, the first "bomb" was received by Sith Lord George Soros. This was quickly followed up by moar "bombs" that were sent to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her wife; former God-Emperor of Black People, Barack Hussein Obama and his husband; former Mexican gun-runner, Eric Holder; batshit insane old person, Maxine Waters; former Vice President and notorious Lolicon, Joe Biden; former CIA Director turned traitor to the United States, John Brennan; unfunny ginger prop comic, Debbie Wasserman Schultz; washed up Hollywood actor, Robert De Niro; science fiction television network, CNN; bisexual rapist, Cory Booker; ex-intel chief James Claptrap; and Californian retard, Kamala Harris.
On October 26, 2018, the FBI arrested a cis-gender, heterosexual, Trump-supporting, "white" man from Florida named Cesar Altieri Sayoc and claimed that he had somehow magickally teleported fake bombs halfway across the country over the course of a mere 4 days. Despite the fact that Sayoc is an obvious patsy and literally dindu nuffin, the media was more than willing to immediately accept his guilt without question because fuck Drumpf.
Despite being christened as "The MAGABomber" by die lügenpresse and a bunch of liberal retards on Twitter, the name is a clear misnomer when you realize that the MAGABomber is neither an actual bomber nor is there a single shred of evidence that he/she/xe actually supports Making America Great Again. In reality, it is far more likely that the so-called MAGABomber is a liberal false flag operation designed to influence the 2018 mid-term elections.
The /pol/ Man's James Bond
In addition to his arsenal of superweapons, Sayoc appears to have been a master of disguise who could become bald or hirsute at will, and was capable of bulking up and shrinking like a jack-in-the-box.
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Liberals reacted to the incident by proving yet again that they can't meme.
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A little Look Into Sayoc's Psyche
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Previous Quote | Next Quote
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 0/20 Fake bombs don't kill people, Hillary Clinton does |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 0/20 None of the so-called bombs even worked |
| Style: | 0/20 Believed that Larry the Cable Guy is actually funny |
| Butthurt: | 0/20 The liberal butthurt caused itself |
| Bonus: | 0/20 Try to actually kill some people next time, faggot |
Wanted Level:
The New World Order
External Links
- Co-worker: Cesar Sayoc was "very, very strange" (Archived:
1 
2) - “Sayoc” (verb): to fail so spectacularly people don’t trust that you’re actually trying to do what you’re doing
(Archived:
1 2) - "Sayoc appeared to live full time in the van, perhaps explaining his ready access to urine" (Archived: 1 2)
See Also
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MAGABomber is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me. |
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