Golden iPod
The Golden iPod Award is awarded to a person who managed to become an hero (i.e. commit suicide) in a lulzy way that brought joy to the interwebs. There can only be one Golden iPod each year, and the competition is very tough. The first person ever to receive an Golden iPod was Mitchell Henderson, for his drama-inducing self-pwnage and subsequent posthumous pioneering of the phrase "an hero."
Requirements for the Golden iPod Award
- The person must have become an Hero.
- There must be drama involved.
- The person must have become an hero in a lulzy way.
An Hero, 2006
For becoming the first person to receive the An Hero title and for bringing many lulz to the Internet. Mitchell showed us that death does not have to be sad, but could in fact be quite hilarious. For losing his iPod and creating a new classic meme in the process, Mitchell Henderson lives on in our hearts and in our hard drives, and receives the inaugural Golden iPod Award of 2006.
2007
Nominees
- Chris Benoit
- Ben Vodden
- Broady Paul Ledet
- Charmaine Dragun
- Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier
- Kevin Neil Whitrick
- Cho Seung-Hui
- Pekka-Eric Auvinen
- Asa Coon
- Tyler Dumstorf
An Winner
For performing the amazing feat of 32 * over 9,000 kills (33 31 if you count his self-pwning; suicide penalty, lulz), a high score which has yet to be broken learn to history (Port Arthur massacre)(BRB Jail, Not An Hero - Epic win: Uiryeong massacre). But also for spawning major drama, lulz, and controversy on the interwebs. Cho also posted a tape of himself making lulzy threats, which has become a famed and legendary video. Mr. Seung-Hui even became a meme, and even today, there are still people posting his image on the web.
2008
Nominees
- Codey "Code Red" Porter
- Hannah "Black Parade" Bond
- Megan "Bulling Is Rabbit" Meier
- Jake "An Wii-ro" Roberts
- Joshua "An Halo" Nimm
- Matti "The Finnisher" Saari
- Shaun "GET ON WITH IT?" Dykes
- Abraham "Candyjunkie" Biggs
- Bruce "Satan Claus" Pardo
Disqualified nominees
- Heath Ledger - He overdosed by accident, he never meant to become an hero. His OD wasn't even worth a darwin award, unlike Codey Porter.
- Brandon Crisp - He had a luzly brawl with his parents, like Jake "An Wii-ro" Roberts, but he did not run out in the woods to kill himself. He fell from a tree by accident, which is a unfunny death. Brandon Crisp was disqualified even though he is popular and did bring many lulz to the Internets and a specific image board. If Brandon jumped from a cliff or hanged himself from that tree, he could have won the game.
- Sam Leeson - Even though he spawned some lulz on 4chan and Bebo, he was nominated too late. PROTIP: nominate people before the voting starts.
An Winner
Bruce Jeffrey Pardo has won 2008's Golden iPod Award for the incredibly lulzy task of dressing up like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, knocking on his in-laws' door while they were having a Christmas party, and shooting an 8-year-old girl in the face when she answered. He subsequently went on to pwn nine people in all, including himself, but not before burning the house down with a flamethrower. The only explanation possible for this act is that he was extremely horny? Bruce Jeffrey Pardo was an amazing individual, but not least of all, he was An Hero.
2009
Nominees
Disqualified
- Nidal Malik "AbduWali" Hasan - Despite Getting Forth Place on the Southeast Regional High Score Leaderboard, he hereby has been disqualified after Æ's judges decided that paralyzation does not count as An Hero of the legs.
- David Carradine - Even though his death was self inflicted with help from an Asian hooker, David Carradines death was not planned nor lulzy. Æ's judges decided that you gotta have intent to become an hero. Carradine is out.
An Winner
Tony48219 won 2009's Golden iPod Award for going on a road trip to kill a negro Boxxy for hating on his religion. He has earned the respect of his fellow man for truly standing up for what he believes in.
2010
By default, it goes to OldDirtyBtard. Rest in peace bro.
On Saturday, October 30, OldDirtyBtard was martyred by the Pharisitic bastards at the Church of Scientology. The cause of death was labeled suicide, and the police refuse to investigate the issue further. He will be sorely missed. As ODB was a career alcoholic, over-aged EDiots (a word invented by the Captain himself) are advised to take a shot in remembrance.
2011
The Golden iPod for 2011 goes to The Sherrodocracy. Because of the valiant suicide of Encyclopedia Dramatica dot com, we were able to rise from the ashes and become the ED that ED was meant to be.
2012
The 2012 Golden iPod winner is Amanda Todd. A 16-year-old girl who got bullied in school for fucking some dude who had a girlfriend because he pretended to love her. She also camwhored online and ended up having to change schools three times because some pedo tried to blackmail her for more nudes and kept posting her tits on Facebook for all her classmates to see when she refused. She eventually was "bullied" into becoming an hero by drinking bleach hanging herself on her third suicide attempt. She drank bleach during her first attempt, but survived after having her stomach pumped.
Close seconds: An autistic hero named Adam Lanza who committed the very lulzy act of pwning his mother, stealing her guns, using those guns to pwn twenty kids and six adults at the local elementary school, and then shooting himself.
2013
This year's winner is hyper-nigger Chris Dorner. Notable for inciting a county-wide manhunt after he published a manifesto and went out on a killing spree against the police who fired him. Finally he was cornered in a cabin in the woods which the police set on fire to try and smoke him out. But black rambo would not be taken so easily and he took the express train to hell instead with a close range headshot.
Other nominees
- Aaron Swartz - Emo Reddit Jew.
- Ariel Castro - Killed himself in jail after being incarcerated for snatching up all the white girls.
2014
Nominees
- Elliot Rodger - The Supreme Gentleman, the most alpha of the betas, and a poster boy for fedora enthusiasts everywhere, Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree and then killed himself simply because he couldn't get laid. As a result, he died a virgin, started a #YesAllWomen shitstorm all over social media, and added more fuel to the already-burning feminazi/SJW movement. *tips fedora in his honor.*
- Leelah Alcorn - A teenage tranny who committed suicide by jumping in front of some Arab's truck just to prove a point. And that point was that he was a Satanic heathen who refused to embrace his loving parents' Christian values by yearning to chop off his penis, change his name from Joshua to Leelah, and live a self-mutilated, gender-confused life as a devil-worshiping freak. If anything, he deserves the award for doing us a favor by ridding us of his maladjusted existence at such an early age.
- JewWario - A contributor of TGWTG who shot himself at the beginning of the year as an only escape from the shitty Internet circlejerk he had wrongfully associated himself with. The only lulzy thing to come out of it were the trolls decrying his death as a hoax used to earn sympathy money.
Disqualified nominees
- Robin Williams - The shitty actor best remembered for voicing an effeminate animated genie who befriends a homeless kid in a Disney movie, playing a cross-dressing granny and a mentally retarded manchild just to be around children in other movies, and starring in his final role as David Hutchence in the comfort of his own home. Disqualified as a nominee as his career had already been dead well before he was.
An Winner
Elliot Rodger wins the prize for 2014. He will be awarded the prize in a small ceremony on ED:IRC. Watch TJC for details.
2015
2015 was a year rife in violence and misery. This can be said of any year; however, 2015 had the most mass shootings occur in history, as well as a lot of lulzy suicides.
Nominees
- Bryce Williams - A.K.A Vester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan II, was a irl gay nigga who had an episode which resulted in him bringing his shitty nigger pistol glock to his former workplace, killing a few of his ex-coworkers in the process- live on TV.
- Chris Harper-Mercer - One of several mass shooters as of late. Notable for legit posting on 4chan, which prompted several memes and created a 15-minute shitstorm.
Honorable mention
- ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 - Muslims culturally enrich Europe. The result is over a hundred dead surrender monkeys. Terrorists killed in action, so they're disqualified.
An Winrar
The winnar for 2015 is Chris Harper-Mercer! Don't go to school tomorrow..
2016
Pretty much 2015 but with less high scores and one less tranny freak.
Nominees
- Ali David Sonboly - True Aryan of Germany, inflicted dozens of non-white roach-raced casualties. Became an hero.
- Bob8466 - A high schooler from Iowa who was close to shooting up his school, but chose to become an hero by shooting himself in the head outside instead. He was a member of ED's Steam group, and for that, we extend a nomination to him. RIP ;_;
- Tiziana Cantone - Some cocksucker whore from Italy who cheated on her boyfriend and sucked 37 dicks in a row. The videos leaked and she got trolled hard, enough to commit suicide and wipe her useless traitorous whore life from this world. Good riddance.
- AcidChan - Anon becomes an hero by injecting acid into his fucking veins. He is never heard from again.
- Justin-anon - Another anon attempts to an hero, this time slicing the fuck out of his wrists and suffering massive blood loss. Believed to have died.
- Hillary Clinton supporters - Gained a landslide majority of popular votes in the nomination thread- sadly, only a scant few became an hero.
- Ted Cruz & Jeb Bush's presidential campaigns.
Disqualified
- Omar Mateen - Killed in Action; not suicide.
- Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel - Killed in Action; not suicide.
An Winrar
Tiziana Cantone gets it for becoming an hero after being exposed as a traitorous cocksucking slut! And because mass shootings have become a stale forced meme.
2017
Quite possibly the lulziest year to date.
A tranny offed himself and three others for his imaginary waifu, a gambler goes for the High Score, we piss on the grave of a child molester and an obsessed fan of school shootings that spent his entire life preparing for his big day is finished even before he starts when he is cucked by a couch.
Nominees
- Robert Seman - Child molester who jumped from the top floor of the Mahoning County Courthouse.
- Steve Stephens - Nigger who shot an old man in the face and put in on Facebook. Became an hero because he couldn't get his McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
- Aaron Hernandez - Former NFL star who hung himself in prison after murdering Odin Lloyd.
- Randy Stair - Tranny Columbiner that was obsessed with Danny Phantom. Killed three people at the store he worked at and took shotgun mouthwash to be with his waifu.
- Chester Bennington - Linkin Park frontman who hung himself because he realized that there was no coming back from making an album as shitty as One More Light.
- Chris Cornell - Did the same just like Chester Bennington, finally got the black hole sun to come
- Scout Schultz - A deranged tranny who killed himself via death by cop.
- Stephen Paddock - A gambler who wanted to press his luck on a crowd of thousands of Country music fans before doubling down on himself.
- Tommy Page - Former member of New Kids On The Block who had no flair for irony and swallowed a bottle of pills because he didn't want to be Hang'n Tough. Only claim to fame is that he was in that band with Mark Wahlberg's brother.
- Lil Peep - Emo Rapper that did more than just talk about suicide and deleted himself after reading The Veritas.
- Slobodan Praljak - Croatian hero who killed many muslims in the Bosnian war. During his trial for war crimes announced "I am not a war criminal!" and downed a bottle of poison, then said "I just drank poison" as the judge was telling him to "respect the court" and dropped dead on the spot.
- User:AlGore/William Atchison - ED sysop who killed two people at his high school, then an hero'd. Somehow managed to get a worse score than Randy Stair.
Honorary Mention
He did it all for the ghost nookie
Come on
The ghist nookie
Come on
So Danny Phantom can take that ghost cookie
And Stick it up his, yeah!
Stick it up his, yeah!
Stick it up his, yeah!
An Winrar
User:AlGore/William Atchison - For being that special type of person that chooses to die in the exact same way that they lived by bringing a smile to our faces on their way out. R.I.P. The Sofa Cuck.
2018
According to your libtard masters, Our great and mighty war god's oppression has sickened our country and is spreading an illness that shall devour every soul in the land so expect a good show this year. Think The Stand
Nominees
- Shuaiby - Kurt Cobain wannabe and possible tranny who livestreamed himself blowing his head off, posted the stream to R9k.
- Nasim Najafi Aghdam - Crazy bitch who tried to shoot up the HQ of JewTube, miserable failure who did worse than couch cuck.
- Verne Troyer - Best known as Mini-Me. Drank himself to death.
- Avicii - Cut himself to death with a broken wine bottle.
- Kate Spade - Killed her self out of despair because she was rich.
- Anthony Bourdain - Decided to take his chances on finishing his game of hangman with Kate Spade who rage-quit 5 June 2018, (and lost) 3 days later on the 8th.
- Chloe Sagal - Attention-whoring tranny scammer who set himself on fire in the middle of a public park because he was homeless and insane. Had a long history of suicide-baiting before finally doing it for real.
- Richard Russell - A lowly airline baggage handler tired of being down on his luck, who decided to end it all with one hell of an airline joyride, before crashing it far away from anyone who could get hurt. A true American Hero.
- Duane Youd - After a fight with his wife, Duane stole a plane, went all 9/11 and crashed it into his house.
Disqualified
- Nikolas Cruz - Arrested after his epic shooting spree.
- Dimitrios Pagourtzis - Surrendered to the police after shoot out.
- Jarrod Ramos - Arrested in action.
An Winnar
Chloe Sagal: She may have been a tranny, but I guess she still had the balls to go through with it.
2019
Nominees
- Pie Pivotmontier-O - 15 year old YTPer and Spongebob fanboy. Jumped off a bridge due to abusive parents.
- Brody Stevens - Some Noone comedian no one cared about that an hero'd
- Kelly Catlin - Dyke looking cyclist bitch who an hero'd, mega Baww from the Olympic community.
- Guilherme Taucci Monteiro & Luiz Henrique de Castro - Based Sopa de macacos who zerg'd their school with bows and a Revolver.
- Arvind Sinha - Leader of the Indian Air Force, An hero’d after almost starting World War III
- Alan García - Former Peruvian President that shot himself in the head when he was being arrested for money laundering and taking bribes.
- Sol Pais - Retarded girl obsessed with Columbine and wanted to shoot up the place as a tribute. Killed herself in the woods and died alone like you will.
- Etika - He wuz depressed n shieeett n jumped off the Manhattan bridge only to be found 5 days later
- Santino William Legan - Incel who shot up a garlic festival and did poorly.
Disqualified
- Brenton Tarrant - Removed kebab and got arrested.
- DeWayne Craddock - Showed that America still has it, and got pwned by cops.
- Connor Betts - Killed in action
- Patrick Crusius - Arrested
- Jeffrey Epstein-Suicide too ambiguous.
An Winnar
Etika: For all of the juicy drama you have given us, especially the Ethan Kline & Keemstar drama, You, Etika, are ED's 2019 Golden Ipod Winnar.
2020
Due to lack of lulzy suicides due to the Commie Plague, 2020's Golden Ipod Winnar is Apollo Legend. Apollo Legend was a Gamer from YouTube, who was most well known for, before his an heroing, being a Streamer with a large fanbase, being a Gigantic Asshole, and defending a White Nationalist named RWhiteGoose. Before officially killing himself, he blamed DarkViper and EZScape for his Suicide.
A close second for winner was the Nashville bombing guy, but People stopped giving a fuck after less than a week.
Also, Ronnie McNutt who turned his face into ground spaghetti on Facebook live
2021
Year #2 of the COVID plague.
Nominees
- Brandon Hole - Nazi horsefucker, who was maddeningly in love with applejack. Couldn't meet his tulpa GF IRL, and "Went Postal" so to speak.
- Samuel James Cassidy - Oldfag boomer who went crazy and shot up his workplace
- Jürgen Conings - Played Hide N' Seek with Interpol for 3 weeks; He was later found dead and decomposing
- Jake Davison - Ugly Incel britfag who shot and killed 6 people including children
- Lowtax - Died of an overdoes
- Aidan Ingalls - Incel Columbiner from Michigan who was almost IRL banned for threatening to commit a school shooting, only shot up a pier, killing only one person.
- Cameron Burrell - Fastasfuck olympic nigger who shot himself in a parking lot
- UK Thang - Blzn Azn who shot up a Kroger in Tennessee and An hero'd
- Nikita Lytkin - 3 guys 1 hammer copycat serial killer
Disqualified
- John Mcafee - SSDD
- Ahmad Al Aliwi Al-Issa - Dirt Worshiper who committed snackbar in Libtard Colorado city, got nearly pnwt by cops
- Ilnaz Galyaviev - Ruski who shot up his local school, did poorly and was a copycat
- Timur Bekmansurov - Sh0t up sk00l, got crippled by a police officer, lost his leg, and is somehow still alive.
- Ethan Crumbley -
Ugly autist who did piss-poorly, only fragging 4 kidsAlso is still alive and kicking in prison retards - Byuu /Near - Tranny who was harassed by Kiwifarms enough to fake their own suicide note and delete all social media, No evidence of suicide
An Winnar
(SPOILER ALERT) Lowtax ended up being the winner for this year, by a lot. Our condolence are with something awful; we hope he has 5 bucks for goon heaven.
2022
The third and final year of the COVID plague, before everybody stopped giving a fuck when the war in Ukraine began.
EDiots were too lazy to start the vote back in December of 2022 or January of 2023, so the vote had to start in February of 2023. The results can be seen 
here.
Nominees
- Gregory Pardun - Based father who shot his nagging wife and
his failure of a son who still watched spongebob at 16 and made Youtube poops, offed himself to avoid buttsecks in prison. - Nikolai G. - Anonymoose German 18 year old who shot up his university with cowboy guns.
- Raymond Spencer - Mutt who shot up a neighborhood in Washington D.C and livestreamed it. Also had a poster of Yakub.
- Michael Louis - Nigra who went crazy and shot up a hospital after being refused painkillers.
- Ethan Blair Miller - Edgelord tryhard who shot up his local Safeway. Failed to beat Payton's or Tranny Phantom's score.
- Artyom Kazantsev - Slavic Nazi who shot up a school like his idols before, and actually finished the job.
- Nathan Larson - LOLbertarian pedophile rights advocate who was arrested after kidnapping a 12 year old. Did the rare an hero of starvation in prison.
- Jason David Frank - The Green Power Ranger. Go Go'd his neck into a noose.
- Stephen "tWitch" Boss - Nigger DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Shot himself.
- Panya Khamrab - Outdid Adam Lanza by stabbing and shooting a bunch of kids to death, before coming back home to delete his family.
Disqualified
- Frank James - Schizo nigger who shot up a subway in Brooklyn before giving himself up.
- Payton Gendron - Totally real and mentally ill white teenager who shot up a grocery store in Buffalo, killing a couple nigs.
- Salvador Ramos - Tranny Spic who killed 20+ kids at a school after shooting his poor granny in the face
- Zaniar Matapour - Snackbar in Norway. During Pride month to add insult to injury.
- Robert Crimo - Soundcloud sadboy rapper who shot up a 4th of July parade
- Orlando Harris - The 2nd black mass shooter of 2022. Was a columbiner and blackcel, shot up high school before being gunned down by wascist ass pigs in vain of Michael Brown.
- Countless suicides by dumb broads trying to take off-brand abortion meds to kill their babies after Roe v. Wade was overturned
2023
The first year proper without COVID (for most people).
Voting took place on December 24, 2023 and ended January 1, 2024. The results can be seen here.
Nominees
- Anthony Dwayne McRae - Boomer Nigger who shot up Michigan State University.
- Huu Can Tran - Oldfag Azn who shot up a dance studio killing other gooks before getting a 6 star wanted level by the FBI ending in his honorable seppuku.
- Diana "Coconut Kitty" Deets - Blow-up doll-looking OnlyFans whore with millions of followers suddenly killed herself because "darkness weighed down on her heart". (click 4 nudez)
- Ted Kaczynski - Based uncle Ted, the Unabomber killed himself in prison after a long battle with cancer.
- Sinéad O'Connor - Can't get over son Shane's suicide so she kills herself like the Muslim she became when she turned her back on Christ to become a heathen that worships a rock in Saudi Arabia under the Terrorist name of Shuhada Sadaqat.
- Robert Card - Batshit Insane former Army fag shoots up bowling alley and gets away, pwns more noobs at a restaurant before getting away again and eventually decides to self-pwn after realizing a schizo like him isn`t escaping an FBI manhunt and that ending it instead will generate the most lulz. 18 killed and 13 wounded
- Ryan Christopher Palmeter - Attempted savior of the white race who was caught trying to shoot up an all black college so instead shot up a Dollar General and himself.
- James Yoo - Schizo azn who blew up his house with a flare gun after gangstalkers attempted to raid his residence.
- Alina Afanaskina - A 14-year-old Russian girl shot up her school in the name of Columbine to get back at her bullies. Only killed one person before blowing her brains out.
Disqualified
- Audrey Hale - Female-to-male mass shooter who shot up a Christian school in Nashville. Failed to an hero and was instead killed by cops.
- Mauricio Martinez Garcia - Beaner white supremacist who shot up a mall before being ventilated by police.
- Anthony Polito - Former professor who shot up the University of Nevada before getting KIA'd by cops. Viva Las Vegas.
- "The Trickster" - WatchPeopleDie user made an obviously fake suicide video for attention.
An Winnar
The Unabomber won, by far. All the other candidates were absolute nobodies.
2024
Nominees
- Dylan Butler - Another edgy tranny who shot up his school. Only pwned two noobs and almost raped six others.
- Romeo Nance - Random Nigger killed eight people in a several shootings and tried to escape the party van but ending up having to An hero after the cops found him.
- Twomad - Unfunny pedophile nigger e-celeb who overdosed on fentanyl while playing Overwatch. Wasn't found until 5 days after his death.
- Kagney Linn Karter - Pornstar whore who Kurt Cobain'd herself with a shotgun.
- Aaron Bushnell - Zogbot ching chong wannabe who self immolated himself outside the Israeli embassy to support the inbred goatfuckers of Palestine. Livestreamed it too!
- John Barnett - Boeing whistleblower that downed some glock mouthwash during a deposition against Boeing under mysterious circumstances.
- Nex Benedict - Heckin' cute and valid non-binary teen who an hero'd cuz bullied
- Maxwell Azzarello - Schizo redditor who self-immolated in front of the New York City courthouse where The Donald is on trial.
Disqualified
- Mia Janin: She killed herself in 2021. She's only here because we just found out about her. She wouldn't have won the 2021 one either. Just another angsty girl.
- Stockton Rush: Killed 5 people(including himself) by his invention, The reason why he didn't Nominee in 2023 is because Nobody Cares how much Aspie put into the submersible.
See also
| Featured article January 1, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Nurse-kun |
Golden iPod | Succeeded by The Great ImageFap Troll |
| Featured article June 13 & 14, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Unikitty |
Golden iPod | Succeeded by Adventure Time |
