Stephen Kazmierczak
|
 | |
|---|---|
| Stephen Phillip Kazmierczak | |
| Born | August 26, 1980 |
| Died | February 14, 2008 (aged 27) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
|
| Highscore | 5 killed, 17 injured |
| Style | FPS, single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Stephen Kazmierczak was a Polish Americunt college student from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign who made an 172 mile journey to Northern Illinois University just to become the latest an hero. Seeking vengeance for all the Poles that have been lost at sea, Steve busted into an intro oceanography class with three pistols and one shotgun, shooting and killing five students and injuring seventeen more. This lackluster performance occurred on February 14, 2008 -- on the anniversary of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre (OMG IRONY).
According to official reports police do not know why he decided to go on this rampage before becoming an hero. The real reason though is that he was butthurt about failing his university classes, and couldn't cope with life any more.
Since Poland's main religion is Catholicism (he has a Polish surname amirite?), and the English terrorist Guy Fawkes was a Catholic, and the film V for Vendetta depicts him...Stephen Kazmierczak is in fact the personification of Epic Fail Guy, with the only difference being that Epic Fail Guy tends to win more often than this ugly fucker... also, Epic Fail Guy is not gay and not dead. I mean, he even failed to shoot a decent number of students. Even The Finnisher did much better than this puny cunt, explaining why that although he was 27, he actually looks much younger. This also explains the EFG connection, as they are both stick figures.
He was An Graduate on meds
Before becoming an hero, Stephen Kazmierczak graduated from NIU in 2006. He was an honor student and received the Dean's award but nobody gave a shit. This, and the fact that he majored in Sociology, the study of social interactions and relationships (he failed miserably at both), made him realize he was doing it wrong. He stopped taking his meds and went on a rampage before committing self pwnage. He had also written a paper called "Becoming An hero in Correctional Settings."
- Police name the faggot. Old news.
- Barack Obama does NOT approve of school shootings.
- NIU Valentine's Day Massacre
