Fagolescence
Fagolescence is the tendency of faggots to never stop acting like teenage boys. This phenomenon can be seen in MySpace, Facebook and Friendster profiles of faggots over the age of 30 who look like they are getting their photos taken for a high school yearbook.
A Fagolescent will wear Abercrombie & Fitch (or Aeropostale, or anything with their damned brand name stamped across the product), style his hair like a fucktard, get drunk and chase twenty-year old fags well into his late forties and fifties; until maybe it finally dawns on him that most people are mortified by his style and embarrassed by his presence at bars, maybe he'll still do it if he somehow avoids AIDS and lives to 60.
A Fagolescent is often a bottom cunt during his prime fagolescent years (his thirties) when he is still attractive to the 20 year old fags who want someone to buy them dinner. When the fagsolescent reaches his forties, he starts to get worried and becomes nicer and doesn't mind picking up the tab, just thankful to be around someone in his twenties.
Signs you're fagolescent
- You are over 28 and gay
- The places you buy your clothes cater to high schoolers (and your fear of aging)
- You have USI
- You worry about what is cool well past the point when straight men no longer care
- You wear a goatee
- You think you look cool wearing expensive sunglasses
- You style your hair to stand up in some fashion
- You don't date fags your own age
- You still get drunk and go bar hopping
- Life accomplishment, knowledge and spiritual growth aren't as important as the gym and your tan, since the twenty year old homos you chase can't carry on a conversation about anything that matters.
- You become a victim and use the excuse that you didn't get to be a whore in your teens because your were repressed, so you need to make up for it now, even though everyone else you knew in high school has married and started a family and you are alone
- You do drugs
- You listen to Daughtry = faggotry
- You try to deny that you are a fagolescent
- You have candles in your apartment
- You strive to be an individual but yet you wear all of the same fag shit as the other fagolescents
- Your MySpace page is filled with more shit than a 16-year-old girl's, and it takes longer to load.
Age range
The fagolescence lasts from 28 until about 47. At 48, they die of AIDS.
Dream Destinations
- Fire Island
- Provincetown
- South Beach
- Costa Rica - when they want to seem exotic and interesting
- San Francisco - for obvious reasons
- Disney World's "Gay Day" parade
- Anywhere that has a Mardi Gras or Carnaval
- Any city that is hosting a White, Black or Blue Party
- Ibiza (still)
- Manhunt or Gay.com
- An Atlantis Cruise (below)
Yes, most of these fags are in their thirties and forties.
Famous Fagolescents
- Anderson Cooper
- Brad Pitt
- Marc Jacobs
- Nick Denton
- Owen Thomas
- Shephard Smith
- Steve Jobs
- Taurin Fox
- Tom Cruise (also still not gay)
- You
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Fagolescence is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
