Michael Gimson
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ATTENTION! You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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This person is a fierce alcoholic
You can help by sending them pamphlets and donating your liver. |
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| Michael Gimson | |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Born | May 24, 1984 (40 years old) |
| Birthplace | New Jersey |
| Residence | Deerfield Beach, Florida |
| Alma mater | William T. Dwyer High School (2001-2004) Sante Fe College (Humanities, 2004-2010) |
Michael Curtis Gimson
(
Nigerianscammerssuck) is your typical autistic (speaking of autism, he idolizes Adam Lanza), suicidal, middle-aged, out of touch conspiracy theorist manlet in a constant mid-life crisis, a strict grammar nazi, a rape victim, and a wannabe film-maker plus book publisher who has OCD, ADD, and some general mild bipolar disorder with a habit for constantly liking videos where Sandy Hook deniers get in trouble.
Born in the state of New Jersey where all douchebags who are raised there turn into reality show celebrities, not much is known about his early childhood except for having to go to a bunch of therapy to be fooled by thinking that what he has is perfectly okay in society's modern standards, and the lulzy fact that in May 2003 during high school, he punched the living shit out of some stupid nigger who was bothering and verbally harassing him repeatedly for a couple of months, plus trying to steal his Coca-Cola bottle from him at lunch every single day when he wasn't looking. Most likely the only funny thing he's done in his lifetime besides put unwanted attention on himself from being such a loser with a ugly fuck wife who is clearly the more dominant one in the bedroom.
More recently, he claims to have worked out and started to eat less foods than before—this is true irony considering that he has nipples the size of pepperonis, and still does. When he disagrees with your statements, he will type out manifestos about how you are wrong and what you should do to fix your arguments. He ventures into the art of doxing, more irony because he's so lazy that he forces his friends to do all the hard work for him. His job at Target doesn't even meet the minimum wage criteria, since it solely consists of repeatedly picking up potted plants and then putting them back on the shelves again. Nevermind with that statement, he was hired around Christmas time in 2015 and then fired not even shortly after because the retailer wanted a gold star for having somebody with a disability actively working for them, otherwise they just verbally and physically tortured the living fuck out of him for shits and giggles. Often, he likes to brag about his sub-par education where he was able to score a 3rd grade reading level in kindergarten, and a 3.0 GPA in high school, but when he went to college for a 2 year degree, he ended up going there for 5 years. Something to be surely proud of though, amirite? Even though he's been married for quite a while now, this doesn't mean that she's not going to dump his sorry ass in the future, so he'll end up dying alone.
The Black Kid Story
After approximately 3 months of putting up with the ape's crap trying really hard to ignore his threats, last Thursday at lunchtime, Michael blew up and lashed out at the kid. What happened was, earlier that morning, in math class, the teacher had the classroom watch an important movie called 'The Devil's Arithmetic', which is about the Holocaust during WWII. While teacher's pet Michael was trying to watch the movie, most of the clowns in the class were loud and obnoxious throughout most of the movie, making it hard for him to hear the movie and learn a few things about history. A lot of anger and frustrations were already building up inside of him that particular morning as it was, and then when he went to lunch that day, the same black kid started with his usual shtick of trying to steal Michael's soda bottle from him at lunch, that was enough to set the cracker off. After that, he never fucked with him again and so they lived happily ever after. Michael says that despite the person that he punched was black, that doesn't automatically make him racist and would have punched him whether he was his own race, or any one other than black.
Obviously, all of the above is not true since it was written by himself modified to be in a third person POV, and whoever he would try to knock out would rightfully retaliate back by dropping his fat ass head on the ground, making him cry to his mommy in the process since he can't be a crybaby to anybody else except the ones in the online world by making a video about it since his dad is pretty much the definition of a deadbeat. He's dead, just like Michael is going to be in the near future if he keeps on with his unhealthy eating habits.
Rise To Fame
Nobody cared about this worthless excuse for a human being until in late 2015 where an Australian weed smoker named Lighthouse and a unknown adderall/jenkem addict began to fuck with him and all of the tools that followed behind him, since they wouldn't be where they are today without him by their side assisting them with every task. Like with every lolcow, Michael gives them more creative ways to let them and others who want to join the fun fuck with him in the worst way possible, the one thing that he doesn't want them to do. Unsurprisingly being the pussy that he is, he's enforced the block button on everyone that he's deemed either a 'troll' or 'cyberbully', and has disabled comments plus ratings on his videos, not that anyone would give him positive reception in the first place.
Dreaming In Autistic Colors
—The director, being the cheap loser that he is | ||
Dating all the way back to late 2013 and then mid-2014, Michael decided it was a great idea to make a movie based on the boring life story of himself, Dreaming In Autistic Colors—assisting with him, the independent company named Hard Knock Cinema. He needs a hard knock straight on the head with a baseball bat, because something simple as colors can definitely have a mental inadequacy that you can dream about. Stupid title, we know. He uploaded these two videos depicting him in a interview for the upcoming train wreck. Interestingly enough, this was also adapted from the autobiography of the same name written by himself, because when a book isn't enough to get your point out there, you resort to making a 20 minute film that doesn't even hit the box office (you have to personally get in contact with him and ask him to the point where he requests for your e-mail so he can give it to you) and has a short budget of approximately $10,000. The whole concept from the director of the film, Tony F. Marquez (from the fake Hollywood in Florida, mind you), was to basically make a short film with a high production value, and then ultimately attract financing for the feature-length film, which gone wrong. You can hire "industry professionals" but you can't raise enough money on Indiegogo considering the fact that nobody bought past the $50 reward for some lame ass T-shirt and make post-production any quicker than what your deadline was originally supposed to be. Way to spread your message for your own friend that you met a few years back in the most horrible way possible!
The Plot
The story is about Michael, portrayed differently as a misunderstood autistic man who is wrongly committed into a mental hospital where other patients are captured by his dream to make a movie. Mike's first day at the mental hospital is very chaotic as he adapts to the strange new environment filled with unique wacky characters. He starts off feeling out of place but quickly becomes the center of attention as the other patients become mesmerized by the prospect of becoming movie stars. This was also written by Tony and not actually Michael himself because he doesn't care what a sperglord wants to do on his own, and most likely said to Michael to either take the plot as it is or GTFO. Obviously, he took the former choice out of his past aspirations to become a filmmaker in the first place.
"Exclusive" Interview
Unable to get Michael's phone number through Michael himself since he flipped the switch on his intelligent mode, Lighthouse contacted his wife on Facebook and asked for her to provide his number to him since he said he was a friend of Michael's and had worked with him prior to their conversation. Since all mentally deficient people are instantly fugly from the day they were born, she didn't hesitate to give Lighthouse the information that he needed which led to this phone call and many lulz ensued from people who were beginning to learn who he is and others who were fucking with him since the day he originated on the Internet.
Tebzur Virus
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
A person by the name of Tebzur Virus (real name: Dan Olson from Hampton, Minnesota) found Michael and his group of friends a good while back and did what anyone would to do these vulnerable faggots: harass the living hell out of them until they become infuriated at you. This plan soon notably backfired on him when the master script kiddie that Dsim is looked through his many pages and alternative accounts and found his real name, his workplace, his Facebook, and to top it all off: when he was poking fun of autistic people and threatening to kill them to make himself feel significantly better in regards to the own disability that he has, he was actually autistic himself. How Dan managed to get on the Internet and engage in the said harassment is unknown, but that is more irony than pretty much the beginning of this article alone.
Reaction To The Article
When a person from Encyclopedia Dramatica decides to make an article about you, it's not because they're butthurt, in fact it's the complete opposite. They wish to document the fuckups that you've achieved in your substandard life and bring light to people that nobody has ever heard of before the article was made about them and are also clearly vulnerable to attacks such as yourself—Michael's comments, videos, replies, failing at a movie and a book both of which he only cared about, and clearly showing his racism like he did when he punched the black kid by his YouTube URL said earlier in the article, Nigerianscammerssuck. All ring this fact as indeed true, but the flat earth conspiracy theorist won't realize this logic for himself, so there's no point in continuing on when he will like previously mentioned, block and report you plus mass dislike every video you've ever uploaded with his friends beside him on every move he makes without you being able to respond to his "jokes" that a kindergarten student could make up off the top of their head.
John Cena
Internet Buddies
While Michael has virtually no friends IRL, that doesn't prevent him from making a lot of them on the Internet, surprised by the fact that there are people out there who actually give two shits about him. And with a large following on YouTube, this fact rings true. Be extremely wary of them, since you may encounter them while you're fucking around with this idiot. Him being fairly active online means there's no denying that there may be way more than are not directly talked about in this section—but they aren't the main focus of this article and therefore don't deserve their own in the first place plus don't need a extended bio full of stuff that they do in their own free time.
Cazaam The Angry Aspie
Michael's one friend that stands out from the rest of the crowd who is a Britfag with bad teeth, also an aspie and past leader of "The Cyberbully Club" on Jewgle+ from 2015 to 2016, Cazaam (formerly Cazaam The Angry Aspie) draws mediocre South Park look-a-like characters of his best friends, makes a career out of exposing trolls online plus being a self-proclaimed "counter troller", and is not afraid to frequently stereotype people whenever he gets the chance to do so. On his YouTube account, he has videos ranting on topics that nobody gives a shit about and wondering if the 45th President of Dumbfuckistan, Donald Trump, should be restricted from entering the United Kingdom. Even if he did, we're pretty sure he wouldn't care about irrelevant loners like you.
DsimXD
Remember how this article said that Michael went to extreme measures such as doxing when he was able to have his l33t hacker friends do everything for him? Well, this is one of the main ones, if not the individual behind it all since every one of these potential pedophiles cannot grasp the many basic purposes of a search engine. The mixed millenial (16 years old, born in late 2000) known as DsimXD (he also has a DeviantArt, 
Dsim64, where he calls himself the "IP exposer guy") reuploads videos that contain "harassment" of either him or his butt buddies just in the rare case they get deleted to not incriminate themselves for some odd reason, and gets a rock hard erection whenever he finds the IP address, e-mail address, street address, workplace, and/or other associated personal info of the said attackers.
Dsim has still not exposed the info of most people who have spent their good time messing with Michael for the lulz to this day. Perhaps he's making profile pictures for himself and other people that can be easily made in a few seconds seconds in the default Paint program for Windows, but unlike some of the people in this article including Michael himself, he doesn't make himself look like a dumbass and doesn't expose much about his real life. Dsim is unfortunately not autistic like the rest of Michael's gay fanboys and he only has ~100 subscribers, so it's also unlikely that anybody actually cares to watch his videos besides the limited amount of people that are still messing with him to this day and found him through Michael.
Dsim called the video that he uploaded on July 17, 2017 a "epilogue video" featuring a bunch of people with useless info that he's gotten, telling others that he temporarily quit YouTube out of trying to avoid a debt crisis, even though he's in his teens and doesn't have to worry about a damn thing, except doing what his parents tell him to do. The video didn't feature the only editor of this article at all, considering that there is information that can be easily accessed out there with no effort. Like what was said, there would be no effort required, but it seems like Dsim pretends to be busy and is scared of him, so it's almost irrelevant to even think that a "dox" would be put out there at this point.
Andres Luna
A unemployed Satanist spic who sexually abuses his chihuahua (in his picture on his channel) on a daily basis and will spout devil-related topics towards you to make you believe in his opinions that have nothing to do with what the arguments thrown at him are trying to explain in a justified way. His channel mostly consists of a variety of videos pertaining to deaths of celebrities, unique reaction videos, his "Don't you hate that" series, football and boxing videos. He has a low amount of subs, so nobody over the age of the typical teen is going to watch his videos besides Michael and Andres himself.
Bmendez378
Not much known is about him besides the fact that he's able to be friends with someone that's just as retarded as he is.
PepsiBoy428
Weird guy who is undoubtedly obsessed with soft drinks, plus a habitual ROBLOX player that got a bunch of views in the millions and countless subscribers by uploading videos of the Teletubbies television show that only catered to kids and psychopaths who are near to killing somebody in the future.
Tazz
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Yet another aspie with a deformed face like Michael therefore being unable to come up with a distinguishable alias for himself online, not much info on him is available except knowing that he's certainly affiliated with him.
Ways To Piss Him Off
Usually mentioning that his wife fucks him with a strap-on, he's a fat alcholic and he looks older than what he currently is, or that he lost his virginity at an age where every real man who's not anti-social like he is has lost it already, makes him mad and prompts him to type essays worth of comments. Making threats to either blow up his house or do a drive-by on him and actually going through with these threats in a few years because no aspie deserves to live a healthy life can do the trick as well.
Current News
—Going full school shooter mode | ||
Nothing remotely funny has came out of Michael in 2017, mostly because he's been semi self-aware of what he's doing. He hasn't released Dreaming In Autistic Colors yet, read the section that's not too far above to see why. TL:DR? The budget in the IMDB page is the reason why ($10k), him thinking that an independent company is just going to make a movie for him because he has mental disabilities. Doesn't work like that buddy, you gotta live in the real world instead of hiding behind a computer screen all day and not getting an actor just so you won't piss or shit your pants on stage like you do when you engage in any type of social interaction.
To start the year off though, he made the true dumbass mistake of posting a lot of personal information on some irrelevant WordPress blog in regards to the only person who's editing this ED article. Like anyone uses WordPress to document their shitty lives anymore. Get with the times and sign up for an account on Tumblr, old man. I don't think anyone at ED would be surprised though, considering the fact that public figures have told stories about when they were raped, that justifies him giving out all this personal information to the public. Doesn't work like that, either. We can tell from this that he lacks basic comprehension skills.
Use scrollbar to see the full text
He has done all of what is about to be listed the following, which has already been done by him in the past:
- Blocked people who tell the truth, aka what he proclaims to be "trolls"
- Doesn't offer to unblock them if they don't "troll" anymore, aka tell lies about how good Michael's movie is going to be
- Wishes rape and/or sexual assault on his so-called trolls
- Constantly posting in Jewgle+ groups and actually using Jewgle+, therefore he is not using a browser that is not Chrome and is part of the botnet
- Was also offered to join a Jewgle+ hangout then told them told to "fuck off" and "die" in the process, thinking that he won't be the first to kill himself
- Gives some content to read whenever somebody's bored though, embarrasses himself in the process and just gets laughed at
- Tech illiterate, as he doesn't know how to screencap on a public computer
- Keeps on typing the same college thesis, automatically implying that people will actually read his drawn-out sentences
- Incorrectly guessing which countries people are from, assuming that he's going to get it right
- Confuses the game in Garry's Mod videos for Call of Duty
- Threatening to report people to the authorities even though he's not going to do it, unlike the threats that are going to be carried out
- Has a strong disliking for Alex Jones and calls him a twoofer
- Makes fun of people who call others shills even though he is shilling for his shitty movie that will never be finished
- Calls people scared because they don't want to expose their face on the Internet (it's called privacy, retard) even though he changed his picture
- Says he has no time for trolls even though he spends a lot of time replying to them
- Reads this article on a daily basis since he doesn't have a job and sucks dick in the library
External Links
- Some blog where Michael ranted on twice in the comments
Michael's Facebook
Michael's LinkedIn- His wife's Facebook
- His wife's alternative Facebook
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Michael Gimson is part of a series on Enemies of the Lulz | |||||||||||
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| Michael Gimson is part of a series on Surprise Sex 
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| Michael Gimson is part of a series on Dying Alone
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