Sagamihara Stabbings

Satoshi Uematsu
Born	January 20, 1990 (34 years old)
Nationality:	Nihonjin
Occupation	Philanthropist
Highscore	Killed 19, injured 26
Top 50?	8th (Japan: 2nd!!!)
Style	Hack'N'Slash
An Hero?	No (turned himself in)

Just 3 days after the Munich Massacre that killed 10 turkroaches, Japan one-upped Deutschland by scoring twice as many frags in their own attempt at the high score—all while using just a knife. This impressive score for a knife-only round was pulled off by Satoshi Uematsu^卐 (Japanese: 国民的英雄), a 34-year-old professional eugenicist and former nurse at the Tsukui Yamayuri En care home (the location of the attack). Satoshi admitted that he wished to purify the genepool by removing Retards and the Disabled, as well as to prevent World War III lol.

The massacre shocked Japan but was forgotten by the rest of the world after 1 week as rampage killings are a daily occurrence now.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	19/20 Almost there!
Accuracy:	8/20 Killed 19, injured 26. Not bad considering the weapon.
Style:	18/20 Murdered retards in their sleep.
Butthurt:	20/20 Feels no remorse, many lulz.
Bonus:	20/20 Doing God's work.
Total Score: 85/100 (B+)

Master Eugenicist; Japan's Angel of Death. Darwin would be proud. See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Police Force

Round 2

A few months after this attack, a Chinese man named Yang Qingpei proceeded to carry out a stabbing rampage. He scored 19 frags like Satoshi did, but left no survivors in the process. He killed Mom and Dad over some bullshit argument, yet had the great idea that he needed to kill 17 other people in order to cover up his crime. He was playing Hitman IRL and was too much of a clutz to use proper stealth, giving him the ranking of Mass Murderer. He will not be unlocking a silenced M4A41-s for this.

See Also

• Japan
• Mamoru Takuma
• Murder
• Retards

External Links

• Wikipedia's Article
• 19 dead, 25 injured after knife attack in Japan; 26-year-old ex-employee charged with murder
• He feels no remorse

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