Brandon Smith
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
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WARNING! FACEPALM IMMINENT! This article may cause you to facepalm, because Brandon is a massive mistake. Feel free to show him the care he deserves. |
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
It's hard to find a person more boring and edgy than Brandon Smith 
. He’s a socially awkward teenager known for having greasy hair/rotten teeth, finding edgy memes and ”hysterical jokes” far too amusing for his own good and drinking cheap Pabst Blue Ribbon from Canopy Liquors. His crooked glasses combined with his greasy hair make the ultimate virgin. Despite this, he feels as though he is able to talk down to other people and thinks he is hilarious. Aside from having an unwarranted ego, Brandon is also a sick fuck.
YouTube
Brandon quickly realized what a mistake he made when he dropped out of school in order to fulfil his dream of playing Halo in his dad’s basement whilst teaching his audience how to build computers. Despite producing worthless content, he pursues it in hopes that he will one day become e-famous.
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ThoseDamnRanters
Last Thursday, ol' Greentooth and fatboy decided to make a collaboration channel called ThoseDamnRanters. Because they were so super edgy and cool, their channels got flagged repeatedly, resulting in them having to make more versions of the channel. Despite making multiple channels, they only managed to get 8 subscribers. As if it couldn't get any worse, the content uploaded on it is cringeworthy as well.
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Comedy
His "Humor" comprises of rape jokes, racism, and school shooting jokes. It's extremely difficult to tell whether these jokes stem from him actually thinking edgy jokes are funny, or these things are some Freudian slip secretly telling everyone how sick and twisted he actually is. As you will see later, he has a serious issue which causes him to think it's funny to trigger a rape victim.
Inconsistency
Because Brandon puts no effort into his videos at all, he constantly flip flops. He made a video where he cried “NO MOAR DRAMA, GUYZ” which was then followed up by not one, not two, but three drama videos. I guess when it comes to Brandon, drama makes his world go around.
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CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
Coming to terms with the realization that you are a waste of space with no salvation can be tough to deal with, and as demonstrated by the following videos, Brandon is no exception to this. In the videos showcased, Brandon incoherently rambles about how he wants to kill himself and the only reason he doesn’t is because people apparently care about him.
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We here at Encyclopedia Dramatica whole heartedly believe that Brandon should take his own advice.
His Relationship With His Father
Much like other spergs, Brandon has an unhealthy relationship with his father. His father, being a normal person, recognizes the failure at life he has spawned, and often times takes to Skype calls to mock him in front of his friends. Brandon, being the whiny bitch he is will then hurl fedora tips back at his father, which will be met with comebacks that shatter Brandon’s ego.
—Brandon's Father making a compelling case for Brandon not having a life. | ||
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Take note of the fact that his profile picture is Eric Harris
Teeth
I’m Smarter & The Riddler
I’m Smarter
Le master troll I’m Smarter made a series of videos using old 1940’s horror-esque imagery and scaring the shit out of Brandon to the point where Brandon threw a temper tantrum and freaked out over literally nothing at all. He even began suspecting that I’m Smarter was hiding in his bushes. Take note, this is a good indication that you have hit rock bottom.
Some people have since tried to recreate the charm of I’m Smarter but have failed miserably. Resurrecting the lulz of I’m Smarter is impossible. Instead, let’s just keep making other alter egos to scare the fuck out of Brandon, such as:
The Riddler
This is arguably the funniest troll to ever go after Brandon. Last Thursday, a troll account by the name of The Riddler sent Brandon a picture of a zombie sculpture that looked deceased. Upon viewing the image, Brandon freaked the fuck out and cried to his dad saying The Riddler was going to come to his house and slaughter him. Strangely enough, this is the same guy who posts pictures of school shootings and Columbine victims, thinks it’s funny to send rape porn to a rape victim, yet when someone does the same to him it’s like they set his cat on fire with a blowtorch.
Fucking Disgrace
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BREAKING NEWS!! BRANDON IS A SICK TWISTED PEDOPHILIAC FUCK |
If you had any doubts about Brandon being a shitty person, this information should clear that up.
Leaking Cheese Pizza
Last Thursday, Josephine Douthat sent her nudes to several people, one of which being ol’ Brandon. In a state of absent-mindedness due to the liquor, Brandon decided it would be a great idea to send the nudies to multiple people. Since we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica don’t tolerate posting Cheese Pizza, we can’t showcase it, however, feel free to inquire with Brandon about it (at risk of receiving CP, so be warned).
Pedophile Apologist
Being a sick fuck, upon finding out that this chat log had been leaked to ED, Brandon attempted with all his might to remove it, sadly for him however, he failed to consider the Streisand effect.
Now he has effectively garnered attention to his admission of wanting to fuck teenagers and covering up for a proven pedophile. Slick thinking, Brandon.
Why Don't You Have a Seat Right Over There, Brandon?
In addition to admitting to wanting to have secks with teenagers and bragging about possessing child porn, he also admitted to fapping to animated child porn. The discussion begins around 8 minutes in.
Notice that his friend in this call has also leaked child porn. The tribe must stick together, huh?
Attempting to Trigger a Rape Victim
Last Thursday, Brandon’s former friend made a status explaining how because of personal events, she doesn’t find the subject of rape amusing and requested that her friends don’t make those types of jokes around her. Being the insensitive piece of shit Brandon is, he decided to comment the oh so cleverly written comedic line: “You’re right, rape isn’t funny, it’s hilarious :^)”. After she got mad and removed him, he got butthurt and told all of his friends to send her rape porn in an attempt to trigger her into a bad emotional state, all because she removed him. Poor Brandon.
Stood up by a Heroin Addict
At one of his pathetic NA meetings, he met a Heroin addict and saw this as a delightful opportunity to finally get his dick wet. They arranged a date but sadly for him, she never showed up.
Brandon Addresses Encyclopedia Dramatica
How to Troll Brandon Smith
- Send him pictures of mannequins
- Leak a video of his dad yelling at him
- Make spoopy videos about him
- Send him zombie pictures
- Mention how he got stood up by a heroin addict
- Tell him he’s no better than Brian Mueller
- Have a differing opinion
- Tell him sending child porn is reprehensible
- Lightly mock him in a call (if you are unfortunate enough to end up in one with him)
- Tell him his dad might be dying of cancer
- Tell him video games suck
See Also
- Brian Mueller, his best friend
- MarblesPoundcake
- AA
- Alcoholic
- Video games
- Pedophilia
- Teenager
- Redneck
- Heroin
- Alcohol
Social Networking Sites
Feel free to show him the care he deserves.
brandon.smith.77985
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| Featured article January 1 & 2, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Hunger Games Roleplay |
Brandon Smith | Succeeded by Michael Ryan |
