Erik Ribsskog
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
—Erik assures Northumbria Police he is not gay | ||
Miss Erik Ribsskog (born 25 July 1970), also known as Baron Adeler, Johncons, Eric Ribswood and since 2013 as Lion's Ass (his RL middle name!), is a Typical Norwegian Jack-of-All-Trades:
- "Directly after Odin" (he means descended from)
- Very Heterosexual
- Blogger (Johncons Blog which is currently the 3rd most popular blog in Europe.)
- Autobiographer/Historian My Story
- Artist who "raises awarness" on his Jewtube channel videos on Youtube
- Business-man, academic, 1337 Haxxor, marketer and information-services expert
- IRL Internet Tough Guy
- Former Slave
- "The real King of Norway," according to himself, even though he doesn't live in a castle '.
Erik is a 40-something (54-year-old) former normalfag (although he always showed signs of being an Assburger) who used to work as a shop-manager for the Norwegian version of Wal-Mart. In 2003, he literally "overheard that he was followed by the mafia" at work, was diagnosed with paranoid psychosis, fled to Liverpool and began a quest to "get his rights" (which rights exactly are unknown). This quest has led him to spend most of his time on his blog, documenting without exception his entire life on his blog, with tens of thousands of blog posts. Whenever he takes a poop, it gets published on the blog. Since entering the spotlight of the Internets in 2007, hardly a day has gone by without Erik posting at least ten new blog posts. Much of it is unfortunately written in Norwegian and therefore has a geographically limited lulz potential. However, for those who do understand Norwegian, his blog is a continuous source of drama, lulz and BAAAWing that makes Chris-chan seem sane and well-functioning. He also sometimes posts in English, usually when confronting the British Social Security authorities.
Erik's antics include getting thrown out by multiple landlords (for refusing to pay rent), threatening to kill the bailiff, speculating that virtually anyone he has ever met is involved with the mafia, accusing his grandmother of murder, trying to get his step-sister's marriage annulled, sending roughly 9000 police reports and even more complaints, posting very detailed descriptions of his past sexual encounters, oinking loudly in public places, figuring out that he is a royal while his step-sister is a Neanderthal, getting arrested several times, protesting against Bertelsmann by a German war-ship in Liverpool and escaping from a mental hospital. He remains convinced that he will soon be employed in a top executive job. He also obsesses about being "directly after Odin" and descended from all sorts of royalty, and claims to be a baron entitled to respect.
Being the most productive blogger in world history, Erik Ribsskog has become a cult figure on the Internets. Ribsskog has also become famous for a comic strip focusing on his family and a self-published six-volume autobiography of nearly 10,000 pages. In 2012, Erik was described by noted comedian Thomas Selzer on national television as "Norway's greatest blogger and possibly Norway's greatest author."
The Man, The Legend
Born in 1970, Ribsskog seems to have had a traumatic childhood, claiming that his parents left him when he was 9 years old. His childhood stories frequently revolve around this event. In hindsight, Ribsskog relates most of his childhood memories to a large conspiracy, which involves everyone from his family to former Norwegian prime ministers, the NWO and the Illuminati.
In spite of his difficult childhood, Ribsskog appears to have been a functioning member of society up until a certain point of his life. He has served in the Norwegian Armed Forces and saw some success in his position as a supermarket manager in one of Norway's largest supermarket franchises.
Then one day while working as a store manager in Oslo, he overheard on the bus in 2003 that he was followed by the "mafian". This led him to flee the city, and eventually the country, and take up residence in Liverpool after surviving a murder attempt at his uncle's farm in 2005. He now supects most of his family and friends of being members of the Illuminati involved in a war against fair-haired people, and claims he was also used as a slave by a German company, Bertelsmann. He also claims the British police are threatening him with desmasculation, since they called him "Miss Erik Ribsskog" in a letter.
His blog includes all sorts of fond childhood memories, like his sexual debut (described in great detail, his sex partner later committed suicide), recollections of his evil granny who murdered his school principal and plotted against him, and recollections of being used as a slave by his father. Any person he's ever been in contact with is unwillingly blogged extensively about, and often accused of ties to the mafia/Illuminati.
After living in Liverpool for six years, Erik was evicted from his Leather Lane apartment under dramatic circumstances on 17 August 2011, and moved to Sunderland. This at first seemed to have had a positive effect on him, as he looked much more happy in recent pictures, he didn't RAGE and BAWWW as much on the blog, he didn't write as much about the mafia, and the number of complaints and police reports was reduced significally. However, with a record high number of almost 500 police reports sent in November 2011, it's safe to assume that he's back to his old self. Erik was since evicted from both university accomodation and a gay hostel in Sunderland, and is now back in Liverpool.
He was 4chan's nominee for son of the year in 2011 (won). He has been described as Norway's best blogger by the NRK (Norwegian Broadcasting Corp.) humor series tweet4tweet.
In 2009, Erik requested that he will henceforth be referred to "only as Baron Ribsskog." [1]
Mental illness
Ribsskog's mental illness has probably been latent ever since his horrible childhood, but it seems that there is one special event that triggered the full-fledged psychosis that is currently exposed on his blog. One seemingly ordinary day in 2003, Ribsskog overheard on his way to work that he was followed by an entity known only as the "mafian" (non-standard Norwegian for "the mafia"). Upon hearing this, Ribsskog promptly fled the country and took up residence in Sunderland where he was supposed to study Information Technology. He failed terribly at this, and has later worked for Arvato's Microsoft Product Activation Service, but left after having been subjected to their inhumane experiments.
He subsequently returned to Norway, but after surviving an alleged murder attempt at his uncle's farm in 2005, he fled to England once again and settled down in Liverpool, where he currently resides. In Liverpool, he also "overheard" that he was being used as a target-guy and "drone" by the police.
He spends his days as an unemployed, self-proclaimed asylum-seeker, bitching about how neither the English nor Norwegian authorities take his insane theories seriously. When not sending a million complaints to any and all government agencies, he applies for jobs, still firmly convinced that one day he will be employed in an executive position because of his vast experience in the consumer merchandise retail industry. He also enjoys taking over 9000 pictures of himself walking the streets of Liverpool or in the same corner of his god-forsaken apartment, as can be seen in this video.
Major themes
Major themes from Erik's blog include, but are not limited to:
Work
- The German company Bertelsmann, which allegedly used Erik as a slave. Erik once protested against Bertelsmann by a German war-ship in Liverpool.
- Rimi, Norway's Wal-Mart, where Erik once worked as a manager. He has reported the owner/founder of the company to the police for various crimes, including attempted murder, and believes he is involved in a vendetta against him for quitting his Rimi job.
The Landlord
- The Landlord (T.J. Thomas/Imperial Properties). Erik refuses to pay rent (despite receiving housing allowance, which he prefers to use to buy a dozen Internet domains and candy), and since 2009 they have threatened him with eviction.[2] [3] In 2011, he bought an axe, and threatened to kill his landlord[4]. A few hours later, four policemen collected his axe[5].
Various conspiracy theories
- Pizza Grandiosa, a Norwegian pizza brand, was a major theme for years. Erik speculates human meat is used on the pizza, and would go to great lengths to prove this.
"His rights" and his police reports
- Erik constantly complains of being denied "his rights" by the authorities, and has sent thousands of reports to the police in Norway and the UK, and occasionally other countries.
Directly after Odin
—Waco Baxton | ||
Erik's hobby is genealogy, and he has discovered that he is "directly after [i.e., descended from] Odin", and that his grandmother's cousin's husband was a baron (Baron Adeler). He has consequently claimed the title Baron Adeler for himself, and has applied to the Norwegian authorities to change his name to Baron Erik Løvenbalk Ribsskog-Adeler. He speculates that he is persecuted by the authorities because he is heir to the title "Baron Adeler".
In a complaint to the royal court, Erik claims he is "the real king of Norway."
His step-sister, however, is not descended from Odin, as she is a Neanderthal according to Erik's research.[6]
"Harry Wad"
Erik has written hundreds of blog posts about one "Harry Wad" who allegedly has harrassed him all over the Internet. Most important of all, Harry Wad "knows what's going on," according to Erik. It has long been believed that "Harry Wad" is just an invention of Erik's psychosis and not the name of a real person.
Negro Boys
Erik has a special interest in what he terms as "little negro boys."
Family
Needless to say, his family occupies a major place in Erik's Knausgård-inspired writings. Some of the most important literary characters in his novels are:
- Rectangle-Pia (born 1971), his sister, prone to engage in love rectangles, who used to hang out in downtown Drammen to "look at the negroes passing by" (according to Erik)
- Axel Nicolay Thomassen (born 1978), his brother and retard-turned-cook, who now appears to have changed his name in response to Erik's writings
- Christell Humblen (born 1972), his stepsister, who is a promiscuous Neanderthal (according to Erik). She flashed her boobs in Erik's face when she was 16, the one and only time Erik ever saw a pair of boobs, which he still obsesses about in his mid 40s.
- Christell's Neanderthal brothers Jan Snoghøj (born 1962) and Viggo Snoghøj (aka "Viggo Snowhill"). Viggo is a former gigolo (according to Erik) and looks, behaves and speaks like a true caveman. Jan earns a living as a quack and charlatan.
- Haldis Humblen (born 1938), the primary occupant of the notorious "Haldis House" where much of the early action takes place, and where she lives with Erik's alcoholic father, the carpenter Arne Mogan Olsen, with her Neanderthal children from her two previous relationships and with Erik's sister Pia. Although Haldis strictly speaking doesn't live in a trailer (few people do in Norway), her household is a typical trailer trash household, with her partner being drunk most of the time, fast food being the only food eaten and the TV set being the only cultural and educational influence. Novelist stepson Erik has also provided a vivid account of her unusually vulgar way of serving beer in his books.
- Aunt Ellen, the aging hippie
- Uncle Martin (born 1955), a tramp, who once tricked Erik into visiting a psychologist who got it all wrong about Erik
- Arne Mogan Olsen (born 1944), a carpenter and Erik's alcoholic father, who let him live alone from he was nine and who frequently called him while drunk until Erik started to ignore him completely and report him to the police when he called. According to Erik, "he can barely read and write, one must say."
- Granny Ingeborg Ribsskog (1917–2009), a selfish and arrogant woman who killed his teacher in 1978 (according to Erik), who falsely claimed to be noble, who once inherited some worthless stuff from a very distant relative married to someone named Adeler (for which reason Erik now claims the title "Baron Adeler"), who obsessed until her death about a "silver mug" she wanted Erik to give her back, and who blamed Erik for his sister giving birth to a negro. An outspoken Nazi, Granny Ingeborg also held the opinion that Jews did WTC, once ranting about how terrible it was to visit a Jewish family in Copenhagen in her youth in the
1830s1930s. - Granny Ågot, his melancolic paternal grandmother
- Daniel, his nephew and negro (much to granny Ingeborg's disgust)
- Rahel Savoldelli, his amateur actress cousin and wannabe conceptual artist living in Berlin, who pretends not to speak Norwegian (despite being Norwegian) when talking to Erik. While her cousin Erik is a hugely successful and internationally famous conceptual artist, Rahel is a rather unknown artist trying to establish herself.
- Reto Savolvelli, his uncle, who once drove a car full of transvestites and who is a member of the Illuminati (according to Erik)
"If I see your bailiff here I'm going to fucking kill him"
Evicted from Liverpool
A prolonged process of evicting Erik from his Leather Lane apartment in Liverpool (as he refused to pay rent even though he received housing benefit) started in early 2009, and apparently came to its conclusion on August 17, 2011, after numerous appeals, several hundred complaints, and innovative delay tactics on Erik's part. Erik's strategy was to barricade himself in his apartment, while live blogging the bailiff's attempt to evict him. Surprisingly, the bailiff apparently succeeded in evicting him, and so, Erik's last blog entry that day was a desperate cry for help as he realized the end was coming.
—Erik warns Liverpool County Court (22 March 2011) | ||
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Heeerrre's Erik!
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March 23, 2011: Erik posts a picture of a newly acquired axe -
March 23, 2011: Erik proudly posing with axe (original) -
A few hours later: Four policemen collecting axe after being tipped off by blog readers -
March 27, 2011: Erik found the solution. He puts a note on his door. -
Erik posing with note -
It's August 17, 2011, eviction date, and Erik has barricaded himself in his apartment and posted pictures of his defense strategy on his blog.
Evicted by Sunderland University Nazis
However, that was only the end of his time in Leather Lane. Erik returned less than 24 hours later, informing his readers that he had moved to Sunderland to pick up his studies from 2004/2005.
—Erik informing his readers that he is still alive (18 August 2011) | ||
Less than a week later, he was thrown out of the university too by university Nazis.
—A detailed explanation of the horror Erik went through when he was thrown out of the university (25 august 2011) | ||
Sent to a gay hostel and evicted again
Erik then was sent to a gay hostel as some sort of punishment:
Erik's ordeal would not end, however. On Friday the 13th of January 2012, he was also thrown out of the hostel:
Erik found refuge in the Scandinavian Church in Liverpool for a couple of days, only to be evicted yet again on 18 January 2012, and sending yet another complaint. They even paid him £200 to leave, so he could stay at a hotel for a few days.
Taken to mental hospital and evicted from Hatters hostel
On 20 January 2012, Erik posted this update to his Twitter account:
—Is this the end to the Erik saga? | ||
However, Erik was released after a few hours. Erik was then evicted from Hatters hostel, and sent a new complaint to the UN.
2014 legal troubles in the UK and escape to Norway
—Erik Ribsskog denies courting Jobcentre employee | ||
In early 2014, Erik was arrested by the police in Liverpool several times, and in August 2014, he was convicted in Liverpool & Knowsley Magistrates' Court of harrassment and stalking of the Jobcentre employee Sarah Bamber. He shortly after fled back to Norway to avoid serving his sentence.
2015 troubles
Involuntary commitment to mental hospital in Norway
On 18 February 2015, police and an ambulance showed up on Erik's doorstep and brought him to Blakstad Mental Hospital, where he was involuntarily committed for psychiatric evaluation for three weeks. He then sent an enraged complaint to the Norwegian government.
—Erik Ribsskog | ||
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Erik Ribsskog at mental hospital -
Erik's picture of his cell at the mental hospital
Escape to Copenhagen
Immediately upon his release from the mental asylum, Erik fled the country, and later told his blog readers that he is now in Copenhagen:
After arriving in Copenhagen, he uploaded pictures from the mental hospital and of his escape to Denmark. Until the end of June 2015, he lived as a homeless bottle-collecting bum in Copenhagen, spending the night at a homeless shelter run by the Salvation Army.
Interpol arrest warrant
On 3 April 2015, Erik was arrested by Danish police and held in custody for around 6 hours with a view to extradition to Norway and involuntary commitment to mental hospital, after Interpol had issued a "red notice" for his arrest at the request of Norwegian police. However, after a Danish physician rejected the documentation from Norwegian authorities, he was released from custody.
On 21 April 2015, Erik published documents which demonstrated that he following the psychiatric evaluation was ordered to be involuntarily committed to mental hospital and undergo treatment on an indefinite basis in Norway, as he is regarded as a "serious threat to the life and safety of other people," which explains why the police went to the trouble of requesting an Interpol arrest warrant against him. As doctors explained to him in Norway, he would be forced to take antipsychotic drugs.
Arrested in Copenhagen and sent back to mental hospital in Norway
On 25 June 2015, Erik was apprehended from the shelter in Copenhagen by four policemen and involuntarily committed to the psychiatric unit of Bispebjerg Hospital, where he remained for a little over a week. He was then sent back to Norway against his will and involuntarily committed to Blakstad Mental Hospital for the second time.
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Policemen arresting Erik Ribsskog at shelter in Copenhagen, June 2015 -
Erik Ribsskog at Bispebjerg Mental Hospital in Copenhagen -
Erik Ribsskog back at Blakstad Mental Hospital near Oslo, July 2015
2017 escape to Liverpool
In late July 2017, Erik Ribsskog fled back to Liverpool, after inheriting a few thousand pounds from a distant relative. He then set up shop in The Lord Nelson Hotel in Liverpool and plans to resume his career as a jobseeker and candy salesman.
Further legal troubles in the UK
On Saturday 5 August 2017, around 22 p.m., Erik Ribsskog was arrested by three police constables. After 35 hours in custody, he was brought before a judge in Liverpool & Knowsley Magistrates Court and informed of his sentence from 2014. In his absence he had been sentenced to a penalty of over 1,000 pounds, to 100 hours of community service and to be on probation for a year and report weekly to a probation officer. In addition, he was informed that he would additionally be tried for his failure to appear in court in 2014.
Highlights from Erik's blog
- Erik reports Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg to the police for conducting a vendetta against him, because his grandfather applied for a job in Svalbard in the 1950s[7]
- Erik reports Merseyside Police to the Oslo Police for mafia activities, and reports Youtube to the police for denying him a girlfriend[8]
- Erik reports his grandmother to the police for murdering the principal of his elementary school in 1978[9]
- Erik reports The Financial Ombudsman for e-mailing him outside of the business hours.[10]
Ribsskogisms and writing style
Ribsskog has developed a very distinctive style of writing and uses many peculiar turns of phrase. He always, literally without exceptions, starts a new paragraph for each sentence. Additionally, he uses several standard phrases in any text he writes, including:
- "I think I have to say"
- "But but"
- "So that's how that is"
- "More then"
- "So we'll see what happens... We'll see"
He also has an obsession that he is "directly after Odin" (meaning descended from). If someone makes fun of him on the Internet, he reports them to Merseyside Police for "breach of honour-crime" (a literal translation of the Norwegian term for libel).
Erik the pedophile
It's a pussy-nation, one must say
—"I am denied it," poem by Erik Ribsskog | ||
The Extensive Media Coverage
Previous Video | Next Video
The Prestigious Erik Ribsskog Prize
The Prestigious Erik Ribsskog Prize, created in 2010, is awarded annually by the Erik Ribsskog Fan Club.
Quotes
— Erik Ribsskog | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Reception
Elin Davidsen
In a somewhat lolwut attempt to bully Erik Ribsskog, Elin Davidsen, an active participant on the Internet forum Kvinneguiden ("The Women's Guide") consistently refers to him as "Blåbærkratt" (blueberry thicket).
The "How to" Guide & Dox
Trolling Erik Ribsskog is about as difficult as stealing a bike from yo former massas.
- Send him an e-mail claiming to represent the mafia, and that you have not forgotten him.
- Make fake subscriptions for gay magazines. [13]
- Plant strange ideas in his head, which he will subsequently process in his batshit insane mind before sending enraged complaints to the Norwegian government.[14]
- Address him as "Miss Erik Ribsskog" (Merseyside Police once did this, which has since served as a source of numerous conspiracy theories)
Although he is completely convinced that he is followed by the "mafian" and that this mafia wants to kill him at all costs, he used to post his home address about 200 times daily on his blog. He is currently incarcerated at Blakstad Mental Hospital, but is sometimes allowed to use the Internet. His e-mail address is [email protected]
In 2013, Erik changed his legal name to Erik Løvenbalk Ribsskog (Løvenbalk literally means "lion's ass"), based on a false claim of descent from some 13th century Danish noble family.
Publications
Erik's autobiography, My Story (Norwegian title Min Bok, literally "my book"), published on his blog, is admittedly inspired by Karl Ove Knausgård's six-volume autobiography titled Min Kamp (Mein Kampf). Still, Erik's autobiography is evidently a lot better and more interesting. So far, Erik has made plans for three volumes, and completed the first, My Story Part 1 (1,600 pages). It is available on Scribd. Erik has also contacted some major publishers, so expect to find this book in a bookstore near you soon.
Erik: The Comic Strip
- Part 1: The judges and the executioners
- Part 2: The feminist mafia
- Part 3: Women
- Part 4: The sexual debut
- Part 5: The Jobcentre (in English)
- Part 6: The penis
- Part 7: The diagnosis
- Part 8: Reflections on being persecuted
- Part 9: Ivan the Impaler
- Part 10: Another sexual experience (in English)
- Extra: The sweet shop
External links
Erik's own websites
- Johncons Blog – Erik Ribsskog's blog with over 9000 posts - daily.
- Follow the blog through Twitter
- Another website owned by Erik Ribsskog (formerly http://www.johncons.org/)
- Posegodt (Candystore) His horribly designed business website. Warning: Probably the ugliest site on the internet
- Godtebutikken on twitter
Erik's original Youtube channel - johnconsTV – Television for Liverpool
Eriks Flickr- johncons.imgur.com Erik has some pictures at imgur as well.
- @BaroneDin Erik is also known as Baron Adeler, and Baron Adeler has his own twitter account.
Third-party
A number of websites dedicated to Ribsskogology have existed:
- johncons.cheezburger.com
- The Tales & Adventures of Ribsskog (currently the most active)
- The New Erik Ribsskog Fan Club
- The Best of Erik Ribsskog
- Erik Ribsskog quotes on Twitter (includes English quotes)
- More quotes (mostly in Norwegian)
- Erik's baleeted Wikipedia biography (in Norwegian)
- Grumpy Norwegian Tourist Erik Ribsskog (must see!)
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| Featured article June 12 & June 13, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Fullmetal Alchemist |
Erik Ribsskog | Succeeded by Dominique Strauss-Kahn |
