DodgerofZion
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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WARNING! WARNING! This user is a big fat ugly dyke. You can help by telling them they don't know shit. |
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See Also: Blue waffle. |
✡✡✡DodgerofZion✡✡✡ (Powerword: Bridget Brown) is a diva form New Jersey with Ass Burgers who caused epic lulz one fine day when she invited all of TotalFark to her wedding. Initially, she was given the warm congratulations the internet typically offers, which soured when it was learned that she had, in fact, never met the man she intended to wed. However, since the man she planned to marry was "extremely rich", she was merely decried as an irresponsible gold digger rather than the failure at life she would later reveal herself to be.
She then proceeded to reveal that she was, in fact, a fatty and that her fiance "loved every pound of [her]" since they had "done things on webcam which I shall not disclose in detail... ;)" since she was 13 and he was 23. They had been engaged for quite some time previously, during which time he had promised his buxom young wife funding for graduate school after the marriage in exchange for vagoo, despite the fact that " he has to make house payments, car payments (on a damn expensive Pontiac, a BMW, and other toys), utilities, medical bills for his fbxrd jaw, and then repeat a few of those for another property he owns."
Although Fark thought that DoZ's trainwreck factor had reached critical mass when she revealed that she was a virgin with "no sexual experience" and Ass Burgers, this was soon disproved when it was revealed that her fiancé was a "huge Civil War buff" and planned to get married on General Lee's tomb. The following formal invitation was issued:
—DoZ |
Fark, feigning responsibility, attempted to discourage her from marrying her dream guy, while wishing in their hearts that they were 4chan, thus granting them the balls to plan a raid. Instead of ruining her life, however, they merely researched her and her fiance, learning that although she claimed he was 28 and never married, his angelfire page claimed that he was 34 and divorced. This was bad news for DoZ, who, unlike most camwhores, was a virgin. The wedding has been planned by text only, since her boy has "phone issues", for which he is "receiving therapy".
When asked why she had not visited him in the many years of their relationship, she was unable to give an answer, but stated that she would do so if Fark paid for her trip. Fark, however, unlike Goddessmine's devotees, stingily refused.
Lulz shot through the roof when it was discovered that the pictures she had given of her fiance were, in fact, pictures of the Backstreet Boys' AJ McLean, and not of an actual person. When pages he had created, including his band's website, were examined, all photos of him proved to be photos of AJ McLean as well. At this point, little Dodger disappeared in a puff of hissyfit, in her last post revealing that "I don't have his phone number, nor his actual address, but I know the neighborhood he lives in, as well as a PO Box from which he's sent me stuff."
Despite the fact that she didn't know that he wasn't the person in the photographs, she claimed to have seen "all of him" on the webcam, footnoting her post with the cryptic 9 1/2". Oddly, this failed to inspire feelings of envy in most TFettes. She added that he was taking care of an illegitimate child of indeterminate gender.
After she was gone, the party furiously raged on until a disgruntled moderator locked it and it continued in another thread. She was never seen again, but as June nears, we can only hope.
See Also
External Links
- Her fiancé's awesome band site.
- DodgerOfZion is now posting on the anti-Scientology site, OCMB.XENU.NET. See here.
- DodgerofZion is also trying to insert herself into the help forum as a 'peanut' on Craigslist.
- She has requested to have this page removed, and of all the places to do it, she chose Craigslist lol.
- A sample of her writing, revealed! http://freepdfhosting.com/e455278987.pdf Vampire crab fishermen.
- Now is involved with That Guy With The Glasses who has their own entry: Tgwtg as their forum mod. Lord knows if this page can be updated with things from that circle jerk.
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DodgerofZion is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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DodgerofZion is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk
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