Mass Shooting
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BREAKING NEWS!! Mass Shootings are SERIOUS BUSINESS |
A mass shooting is an incident in which multiple noobs are almost raepd or downright pwned when the player utilizes a gun to get on the high score. Ever since the 2010s, the prevalence of mass shootings have rapidly increased and the levels of butthurt decreased as a result of becoming a stale, forced meme However, mass shootings are still serious business and bound to cause high intensity shitstorms. It is estimated that 99.998% of mass shootings occur in Dumbfuckistan, a harsh, brutish nation located somewhere near Canada. After every mass shooting, the inhabitants of the wasteland, known as Americunts, typically take two political standpoints:
- Liberals: BAN ASSAULT GUNS!!!1 BAN CLIPS WITH MORE THAN 1 ROUNDS OF AMMO!!1
- They often focus on the gun as if it was a sentient machine, grew a pair of legs, and bared sole responsibility for the actions of the user.
- Old Media often avoids publishing the perpetrator's identity if they aren't white. A good example was with Omar Mateen, the sand nigger who perpetrated the (at the time) deadliest mass shooting in American history and went forgotten after 30 minutes, whilst any white kid is a household name even if their score is laughable.
- Republicans: BAN GUN FREE ZONES!!1 Mental Illness should be the primary issue focused. MOAR guns!!1 Guns dont kill people, people kill people! Ban violent video games!!1
- Gun Nuts, mostly Republican-leaning, often Zerg Rush the nearest gun store and buy out as much armaments and ammunition they possibly can, which caused a massive shortage and price-hike of ammo, notably with 22lr. Thus, no potential mass shooters can get the ammo they need, saving a dozen + lives in the process. Good job!
- They will also come out of the woodwork and prove that, no, it hasn't really exclusively become the other side that spergs out about content in video games.
The most dramatic and lulzy variant is a School Shooting, which makes a nation's collective populace shit their pants and go into moral panic. In countries like Dumbfuckistan, people are so worn out and used to these shocking spectacles of appalling carnage, that unless the shooter racks up 7+ frags, nobody gives a fuck, and for good reason.
Mass Shooting Tracker
The image below automatically updates and displays the day(s) since the last mass shooting in Dumbfuckistan. It can also apply to Yurop and the rest of the Earth, mainly due to ISIS terrorists going apeshit 24/7 now, paid for by the govt's to institute moar 1984.
History
Mass Shootings have existed at least 100 years ago, when guns were invented. They mostly occurred in 'Murka, even centuries ago, as it was quickly adopted as a tradition among the Murkan tribes. Sadly, firearms were single-shot only, had shit accuracy, and took 30 seconds to reload, so mass shootings were only committed by squads. A notable example happened in the 18th century, during the year 1764. Four injuns took up arms and zerg rushed a school. There, they discovered the teacher and a bunch of little kids. The teacher begged the savage injuns for mercy, but he was quickly shot dead and scalped. All of the children were shot, sliced and scalped as well. The survivors were taken as prisoners and raped; typical injun behavior. Throughout the 19th century as guns became more efficient and revolvers were in use, the phenomena of mass shootings accelerated to the point that there was a shooting roughly once a year. By the time the 70s rolled around, mass shootings happened about 2-3 times a year. After the Columbine massacre, the phenomina exploded. There are dozens of mass shootings per year now, with a few happening on the same day.
Elsewhere in the world, this shit happens significantly less, due to their lack of respect for freedumbs.
School Shootings
Conducting a School Shooting is currently the greatest (and arguably cheapest) method for getting fame, lulz, and sexually obsessed fangirls. More information on school shootings can be found on its own page. Sadly, most school shooters are weak little nerds who can't shoot worth shit; only Cho Seung Hui and Adam Lanza have gotten impressive scores on this level and are thus outliers.
Mass Shootings in America
Americans like to boast that they're HURR DURR #1!!!!! This is actually true; Americans rank #1 in the world for :
- Obesity
- Prison Rate / Prisoners
- Health-care costs
- Gun ownership & Guns
- Military Spending
- School Shootings
- Mass Shootings
It should come as no surprise that a significant chunk of the world's mass shootings take place in this shithole warzone. 
TOW has a handy little list and another.
List of Mass Shootings in the USA
Rest of the World
The rest of the world is mostly a shithole as well, but they're notable for being far less obese, mentally ill, and violent than those crazy ass Americans are, but still pretty insane. A lot of their alienated, bullied youth decide to go for the high score on their way out from the IRL. Notable cases include Anders Behring Breivik, Woo Bum-kon, Martin Bryant, Pekka-Eric Auvinen, Brenton Tarrant, Tim Kretschmer, Gabriel Wortman, Dmitry Vinogradov, and Mr. Saari.
Aftermath
After any mass shooting occurs (esp. with high casualties), leftists always manage to pull off Gun control, particularly in Australia and the United Kingdom. This rule of thumb has no application to Dumbfuckistan; just in commie liberal states like California or New York. Societies enter a moral panic and ban assault video games and music; an excellent example is the aftermath of the Columbine school massacre of 1999 in which everyone freaked out and blamed fuckers like Eminem and Marilyn Manson for Eric and Dylan's sick deeds. After the circlejerk is over, they immediately forget about the massacre and go about their day and wait for the next one.
In Gaming
After every mass shooting, the public often rushes to blame everything they can, except for the shooter(s) responsible. A good example is the aftermath of the Columbine massacre of 1999. When it was discovered that the two killers, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were avid fanboys of Doom and Duke Nukem, soccermoms from all areas of Dumbfuckistan rushed to blame these video games for causing E&D to go apeshit. In Germany, the massacres caused by Tim Kretschmer and Robert Steinhäuser were enough to convince the gov't to ban assault video games.
Most game developers are SJW faggots, but some are pretty cool and lulzy, and made a living for themselves by making games such as Postal 2, Hatred (Video Game), IS Defense and Manhunt, where the entire point is to commit mass murder and brutally murder / torture shit. The shitstorms that emerged from this produced enough energy to power the Hoover Damn for over 9000 minutes. Many gamers often commit mass shootings anyways, notably in game series like Grand Theft Auto.
Drinking Game
Here's a fun drinking game for you and your friends! Take a shot every time there's a mass shooting. We'll wait...
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lol u ded
High Score
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See: High Score |
The High Score is the leaderboard of the game of Life. The higher the player's KDR, the higher their position on the list. To achieve high frags, players often (but not always) result to mass shootings.
Championships
- Anders Breivik currently holds the Platinum Cup, with 67 kills and 33 injuries.
- Stephen Paddock holds the Gold Cup, with 58 kills and 841 injuries.
- Woo Bum-kon holds the Silver cup, with 56 kills and 35 injuries.
- Brenton Tarrant holds the Bronze cup, with 51 kills and 49 injuries.
- Omar Mateen holds the Plastic cup, with 49 kills and 53 injuries.
Adam Lanza amassed the most kills in a record low time using a gun at the same time of getting the highest kill-to-injury ratio. He went 26-2(not including his mom), with a kill to injuries ration of 13. He accomplished this all UNDER 5 MINUTES, although he didn't get the top 5 on the leaderboards, he did impressive.
Vidya
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Gallery
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Arabs are statistically most likely to mass shoot you. Beware of them! -
Shoot up a fag parade -
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immediately arrest every single 4chan user before it is too late!!! -
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See Also
- High Score - the constantly updated record of current and/or potential competitors
- Capital Gazette Shooting
- Postal - slang term for committing a mass shooting
- Postal 2 - the above, in video game form
- Hatred (Video Game) - Mass Shooting Simulator
- School Shooting
- Jewnited States of Americunts
External Links
| Featured Article October 17 & 18, 2023 | ||
| Preceded by Church of the SubGenius |
Mass Shooting | Succeeded by Sex |
