Kate Spade
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Kate Spade | |
|---|---|
| Given Name(s) | Katherine Noel Brosnahan (maiden name) Kate Spade, (Married Name) |
| Current State Of Being | Corpse |
| Nationality | American |
| Ethnicity | Drunken Belt Eater |
| Genus | Fashionista |
| Species | Hipster |
| Occupation | Sammich Maker and Designer |
| Born | December 24, 1962 |
| An Heroed | June 5, 2018 |
| Method Of Self Deletion | Hanging |
| Residence | New York, New York |
If the totality of your contributions to the human race include marrying David Spade's less talented brother Andy that gave us such famous French theater ripoff such as The Black Baloon and starting a fashion line in the oversaturated market of cheap, fashionsble, quality grandma purses, you would kill yourself too when you have a face that looks like it was run over by a tank tread and your husband found himself some Strange and was asking for a divorce. Being mostly of Irish heritage there are many that believe alcoholism may have played a part in her death.
Life
Katherine Noel Brosnahan was fortunate to be born into a Shanty Irish, Catholic family whose father had enough self control to know when to put the bottle down so he was able to give Kate a better than average life as he owned his own road construction company.
Like all Catholic Irish girls, Kate was dumped in a Catholic School from the time she was able to walk to learn upstanding Catholic values for Women such as making sammiches, boiling the flavor out of roasts, using leather belts as a flavor addictive and pushing out kids like a factory.
Following her graduation, Kate Spade became confused because of the tragic Feminist movement and became convinced that she was capable of being more. In 1985 wearing shoulder pads, a Dynasty style haircut and Liz Taylor perfume, she graduated with a degree in journalism.
It was her Catholic life that brought her back to a near feminine lifestyle. Not liking the lifestyle of being a journalist, and actually having to work, Kate Spade heard the call of her uterus and was called to fashion, pretty dresses and other proper girly things because she wanted to have a baby.
Death
—Ernest Hemingway: A Clean Well Lighted Place | ||
—Ernest Hemingway: A Clean Well Lighted Place | ||
Kate's Spade's sister Reta Saffo tried to use the Libtard technique of trying to excuse her sister's becoming An hero by saying that the sudden fame, (WHO?) And wealth she attained in her early 30s did nothing but aggravate her pre-existing condition of being Bi-polar and drove her to take her life.
According to her Catholic upbringing, Kate Spade is right now rotting away in the second part of the seventh circle of Hell where, for eternity, she must relive her suicide and where Harpies will break off her limbs like they were twigs to feed on as they always grow back.
According to the Catholic Church, for the suicide to be unpardonable sin before G-D these criteria must be met:
- It is a gravely wrong action
- The person knew it was gravely wrong
- The person did so out of free will
That Catholics believe that G-D considers these 3 things when a person Drinks Bleach. If all 3 are present then they are uncreated at the second coming.
There will be no after world for Kate Spade.
See Also
External Links
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Kate Spade is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
| Kate Spade is part of a series on Dying Alone
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