Robert Byrd
Senator Robert Byrd was born over 9000 years ago. He died shortly after Jesus' time and was resurrected by Bush. He died again on June 28th 2010, to be resurrected when Bush's daughter becomes president. He is the oldest person in politics, beating John McCain by 3 months.
He was a part of the KKK IRL, and was the exalted fuckwit for his jurisdiction. He was an idol to many rednecks, and could be considered a hero for his services against black persons (although he says he never enjoyed burning crosses, he just did it for the lulz). It has also over the years seemed as though he is absolutely batshit crazy. Byrd has been giving speeches on relevant subjects longer than woman have given birth to children.
He's also the oldest fucking person on a planet to ever give a speech on live TV. Respectively, He wasted 10 fucking minutes of someone's life. He claims that training animals to fight each other is cannibalistic, and also claims he thought he saw how "DOGS WERE MANGLED, (with) GENITALS HANGING FROM THEIR BODIES". This is unlikely due to the fact that Byrd hasn't seen a dangling genital in an average human's lifespan, since his own dick shriveled away into nothingness in 1925, and all the niggers he lynched had undergone castration and penectomy beforehand. So without this frame of reference it was more than likely a dog's intestine or something. It should be noted that during his research he was visibly aroused.
The entire fucking speech is a shitload of poorly-structured douchetalk. Whoever gave this man permission to stand on live TV was a complete tard.
Oh wait...
NEED WEST VIRGINIA WIKI NOW.
Robert Byrd was also the discoverer of the elusive white nigger.
Career Highlights
Byrd V.S. Ron Mexico
Last Thursday Byrd talked about Ron Mexico's love of dogs, and how they can kill the fuck out of each other. His speech was very hard to follow, as he repeated everything about 6 times, and had trouble finding the right piece of paper, before he remembered where he was. Byrd probably shit himself. Ron Mexico most likely shit his pants too after watching this. Then he went and ate a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken.
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Quotes
- "GOD HELP....................................*awakes from a wide-eyed coma*...................THOSE POOR SOULS."
- Looks for right paper, pauses... "It's cruuuueell."
- "BARBARIC!....BAARRBARIICC!"
- "Who would be so cruel-BARBARIC! HEAR ME! Barbaric..."
- "I cannot even begin... To understand... How human beings... ...Can be so cruel... ...To man's... ... ... ...best friend." wait, wait, wait. So Dogs=bad... and Niggas=Okay?
- "There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time..." LOL WUT
