Mark Foley

Foley with his friends, the Church of Scientology

Pre-captioned for your convenience!

Mark Foley's Terri Schiavo impression.

Flanked by his fellow pedos, Foley receives an award at a NAMBLA convention.

"Do I make you a little horny? Cool, dudes!"

Fox News is doing it wrong

Again, Fox News: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG

Young Mark Foley is a what?

All it needs is a miter

Even inanimate, your children are not safe

Rep. Mark "Triple F" Foley ("R"-FL), known online as Maf54, was once known as a likely contender to replace Katherine Harris as Florida's 2006 Republican candidate for the United States senate. Now he's a known pedo homosexual, having resigned after it was discovered that he'd been sending sexually explicit messages to pages, including a sixteen-year-old boy. Also, he doesn't seem to know the difference between "your" and "you're," which is to say that he's a typical member of the House of Representatives.

Incidentally, Foley was perhaps best known as a tireless advocate for children. He served as founder and co-chair of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus, for which he presumably drove around in a van looking for runaway boys and offering them a place to stay and some poppers. According to his website, "He has also introduced and cosponsored legislation designed to eliminate child pornography and exploitative child modeling web sites" on the internets. Apparently, he was trying to save them all for himself. Whenever more research was needed, Foley was on hand to do it.

Mark Foley had a long, illustrious history of denials and evasions when it came to his sexuality, denouncing questions about his dark shame as "revolting" -- even after The Advocate, a prominent homo paper, outed him and Rep. Jim Kolbe (R-AZ) in 1998. While Kolbe emerged from the darkness of the closet a singing, rainbow-loving butterfly, Foley remains entrenched in a tomb of denial, where he furiously jerks off while IRL having cybersex with underage youths. Fellow Republicans knew of Foley's un-godly ways and in true worldwide Masonic conspiracy fashion, kept their lips tightly sealed to spite the Democrats. And like most Republicans, he had no idea that his online chats might be saved for future humiliation and lulz.

Here's a fun sample text from one of Foley's online exchanges with a boy, who elsewhere claims to have a cast fetish:

Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?

Teen: A little.

Maf54: Cool

Cool, dude! Whoa! Radical! Cowabunga!

And, on another occasion, Foley ignored the orthodox pedo policy of letting the child make the first move:

Maf54: You in your boxers, too? ... Well, strip down and get naked.

As indicated above, Foley appears to have been a gentle, compassionate e-lover, concerned chiefly with his young partner's comfort:

Maf54: What ya wearing?

Teen: tshirt and shorts

Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.

How sweet!

Foreshadowing

Foley had many television appearances prior to his exposure and subsequent dramatic exit, including these gems regarding a child/teenage nudist camp:

• CNN, June 20: "You put 11- and 18-year-olds together in a camp where they're nude, I think it is a recipe for disaster. It is like putting a match next to a gasoline can."
• MSNBC, June 23: "I do have to question why people, if this is such a natural endeavor, have to be put in a hot tub with 18 others, if you will, enjoying this kind of activity. ... These kids are young. I think that they should maybe be learning something other than being nude together and being thrown in a hot tub.
• "The Early Show," June 24: "In fact, in the very camp we're talking about in Florida, there have been people ejected because of their trying to enter the camp because they're peering through sauna windows."
• "Good Morning America," June 24: "In fact, they've coined an expression for people that visit these parts, they call them COGS, Creepy Old Guys. ... It's in [the children's] most formative years. I think they'd be better off at Girl Scout camp, Boy Scout camp or sports camp than a nudist camp."
• "The O'Reilly Factor," June 29: "The parents said, 'Oh, they're supervised, they have camp counselors, they have custodial people there to watch out for them.' Well, again, several cases have come to my attention where the camp managers themselves have been arrested, charged with pornography."

Logs

Main article: Mark Foley/Chat Logs

Other exchanges included:

Maf54: I am back in Florida now...its nice here...been raining today...it sounds

like you will have some fun over the next few weeks...how old are you now?

Maf54: how are you weathering the hurricane...are you safe...send me an :email pic of you as well.

Xxxxxxxxx: No u sign off first

Catholicism

Shockingly enough, Foley is a Catholic and a gay! And here's an ironic quote from Foley on Bill Clinton, circa 1998: "It's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction." This would be even more ironic if Foley had potential, too. Instead, he was a Bush fanboi from Florida.

As of October 19th, in the year of our Lord 2006, it became apparent that, astoundingly, Foley was OMGZ really molested by Fr. Anthony Mercieca, who spoke in hushed tones with a Sarasota Herald Tribune reporter of "possible inappropriate conduct" including (but not limited to) giving Foley nude massages and bathing with Foley when Foley was thirteen years of age. It is as of this time unclear as to whether Foley was asking for it.

Incidentally, Encyclopedia Dramatica predicted all that has transpired on its Florida page, which notes that Florida "is also sometimes referred to as 'The Pedophile State' because of the massive number of pedophilian crimes occurring there. Investigators suggest this may relate to its penis-shaped peninsula."

Broken News!

On October 3rd, in the year of our Lord 2006, reports began to surface that Foley is blaming his penchant for teh teeny weenis on being molestered as (or by) a child.

Also, an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive: we hunt down a blog entry by a Republican kid who seems to have been a page to Foley and who wrote the following after a fun-filled night at the 2004 Republican National Convention:

"INCREDIBLE! There are no words to explain the feeling of being on the Floor the final night of the convention. Not very many 17-year-old seniors get a chance to represent their own Congressman at the conventions close. Congressman Mark Foley had to return to DC to accompany FEMA back to the District to help with the relief efforts for hurricane Frances. Mark’s sister Donna took the time to call me and tell me to pick up an envelope they left for me at the front desk with a small surprise. I opened the envelope to find Mark’s final evening Floor credentials and a note encouraging me to make him proud. What could anyone say except, THANK YOU!"

Which will prove more damaging: FEMA's relationship with Foley, or Foley's relationship with FEMA? [Lol]

Foley's defense in court then cited the little known "you can't smear a piece of shit" legislation last enforced 24 hours before by some other Republican.

Further Broken News

John Walsh, America's Most Wanted host, declares Foley a OMG PEDOPHILE on Larry King live:

WALSH: You know that was always the issue on Capitol Hill and I think that his response in the past was that “That’s my business and would you ask President Bush or would you ask, you know, Chairman Harry Reed if he was straight?” I think in the 21st century, people have a right to keep their sexuality, you know, to themselves. But, you know, making overt advances to 16-year-old boys from a 52-year-old man is nothing about gay. It’s about pedophilia.

Additional, Even More Shocking Broken News

After Drudge reported that the chatlogs were a "prank", ABC revealed three additional cute, effeminate former pages had come forward with similar, additional shocking tales. It seems Mark Foley had been approaching pages online and off for years, requesting fapping tales of other pages' genitalia, pix plz, showing up drunk at the page dorm on multiple occasions and being summarily cock-blocked by security, offering a special stay-at-Mark-Foley's-place tour package in exchange for oral sex, and even arranging various sexual dalliances after they turned 18.

Democrats Did Foley

News is emerging [1] of a liberal plot -more dastardly than that of Al Qaeda's Gatorade Bombers- to bring down the entire Republican Party and the American Way©. As of writing, Bill Clinton, alcohol, Catholic priests and ABC are all implicated.

Videos

Mark Foley Scandal In Seven Minutes. Mark Foley sex scandal and the cover up by the GOP. David Bossie on the Mark Foley Scandal. Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

Gallery of Foley About missing Pics

• 
  I heard you leiks Shota!
• 
  The Irwin connection.
• 
  Stiff wood.
• 
  Everyone loves teh elephants
• 
  Cast fetish.
• 
  Pedo.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Gram one eyed snake.
• 
  Wikipedia's fair and balanced article on Foley.
• 
  Maf54 (8:01:04 PM): whats yours.
• 
  In Ur Internets.
• 
  When I'm touching you, I feel great. When you're touching me, hallucinate.
• 
  Pederasty Equals Honorable Discharge.
• 
  Foley and what his fellow congressmen do all day.
• 
  The Jesus' true identity.

See Also

• Irony
• christianhillbilly
• Larry Craig
• Lindsey Graham
• Adam Rozanski, the name of the boy who he molested.
• U.S. Rep. Mark Foley, one of Washington's leading advocates for missing and exploited kids, doesn't like the idea of a clothes-free camp for teenagers.
• A slightly tl;dr but in depth source of lulz
• PDF of a series of e-mail exchanges
• 104 pages of IM lulz
• A dramatic reading of some tasty quotes
• Mark Foley: Protecting our Children (How come this isn't on www.markfoley.com anymore?)
• October 3rd Update
• What might be his Yahoo profile, registered since 1998
• Mark Foley is gay? AND was molested by a priest?
• Re-enactment
• Foreshadowing!
• Official MySpace of Mark Foley!
• Three more pages come forward, report requests for pix plz!
• Matt Drudge, blaming the victims. Amazing.
• Congressional memo explaining the real meaning of Foley's correspondence
• Pages called him "Florida Fag Foley." Asswitness testimony from page Foley buttsecksed.
• Not once, but multiple occasions of attempting to visit the page dorm.
• Jim Kolbe, retiring congressman from Arizona, is under preliminary investigation for a similar "issue" involving a whitewater rafting trip.
• Fr. Anthony Mercieca confesses.
• Foley's M.O. -- flirting with the "hot boys".

Mark Foley is part of a series on Gay Republicans [NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

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Featured article October 4, 2006
Preceded by Ultraviolet News Network	Mark Foley	Succeeded by Michelle Malkin