Kevin Rudd
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Former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, or Ruddkipz, was the train-wreck failure of a leader of the Labor party also known as the Communist party. John Howard, the Bush-worshipping former Prime Minister of Australia, was fantastically butthurt when he resoundingly lost the election to such an incompetent faggot. China expert Ruddkipz planned to allow massive immigration from Communist China to all temperate coastal areas of Australia, i.e. Melbourne-Brisbane, and Greater Perth (there is nothing great about Perth). Alas, noone gives a flying fuck. Thursday, June, 24 2010 will be remembered as the day when Julia Clitmold took initiative, strapped on her dildo and raped Ruddkipz in the mouth, the end result being his political brains on the floor of the PM's office. Nevar forget. 3 years later he knifed the bitch back to clean up the mess she made of Australia (implying Australia isn't already a messy shithole full of abos, sandniggers and bogans) and rescue as many Labor seats in the House of Representatives at the 2013 Federal Election. Kevin Rudd & Labor lost the election to the Zionist controlled LNP however saved more seats then Juliar could ever hope to. While most people with a brain would roll their eyes, lube up and prepare for 3 years of being raped hard by the fundie bible-bashing LNP, Clive Palmer managed to get elected to the House of Representatives so with the amount of lulz he'll provide the next 3 years will be somewhat bearable.
Dietary Requirements
IT IS DELICIOUS EAR-WAX, YOU MUST EAT IT
Ruddkipz has soem historyz
Ruddy boy has been a Labor supporter since he was a teenager. He made this decision after his white trash family got evicted after his crack-smoking mother ODed and was unable to turn enough tricks to make the rent that month. Being the son of a lazy crack whore, Rudd believed he was entitled to a free place to live, and so joined the Labor party, given that it was full of self-righteous, lazy bastards such as himself. The skills his mother taught him served our man Rudd well in politics. He sucked a mean dick, and soon got his communist ass appointed to the ambassadorship to China by someone with a wry sense of irony. His cock-mastering blowjobs boosted China-Australia relations to their highest point in history. Upon returning home from China with cum-soaked glowing praise from the Chinese, he was appointed Leader of Opposition and began his farcical political career.
Rise to Failure
Rudd won the November 2007 election making him Optimus Prime Minister. This inflicted drama upon Liberal party voters and lulz to Labor party supporters. The first thing Rudd promised to do was expand Australia's ties with China, increasing imports from China, encouraging immigration to Australia, and making it easier for Chinese corporations to do business in Australia.
Kevin Rudd also wanted to make faster Internets for Australia, right before fucking it up with a shitty net-tranny filter nobody wanted. He is also proposed mandatory instruction in Chinese language skills for all Australian students. He will be remembered for successfully introducing some of the late Chairman Mao's progressive policies on land re-distribution.
Fall From Fail
On the 24th of June, 2010, his braindead, glue sniffing puppets realised what a giant failure he was and called a leadership election. Julia Gillard, some ranga nobody cares about, won the election hands down due to a) the amount of cocksucking she does and b) the amount of fail Ruddkipz was producing.
Not only was he ousted by a woman with red hair, he also went out like a pussy.
Lol as of 26 June 2013, he's returned to power, probably only to lose it again in the federal election in September.
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Views
Australia wasn't given much choice for the election, as Howard and Rudd had incredibly similar social views. He's opposed to gay marriage, like Howard, and they both attend Hillsong Church. So as usual, Australia voted on non-political characteristics, like the retards they are. John Howard sounds like someone who should be working a nine-to-five job, while Kevin Rudd sounds like mud, which reminded everyone of mudkipz. John Howard is bald, and people aren't attracted to bald people, while Ruddkipz has Bill Gates hair, so naturally that got a percentage of the vote. John Howard can barely speak English without sounding like a retard (Neither can Ruddkipz, but he lied and said he could speak CHING CHONG PING PONG language, so more votes for him). Ruddkipz called his wife a man, which many Australians could relate to, seeing as how Aboriginals roll. Ruddkipz was also poor at one point: most people consider his swindling of money "triumphant" when the rest of us know it was just a White guy scammin' the niggas. He is also a well known homophobe, which most people see as a plus rather then a minus. More votes for him (ironically, one of his cabinet members is an Asian lesbian, because we all know that azn lesbians make up a significant proportion of the Australian population.)
For further views see John Howard.
Ruddkipz, Supreme Emperor of Your Internet
A fact unbeknown to most, ol' Ruddkipz intends to completely censor the Australian Internet with his expensive, ineffective, and slow internet filter. This would be terrible if he was making it mandatory for everyone, and also impossible to opt-out of. Oh wait, he is.
— Phil Sweeney |
RUH ROH. More info here.
What Can You Do to Halp?
Get off your fat, pimply arse, go get your sniper rifle...and rectify this situation, for great justice. Srsly though, domestic terrorism, assassination, protests, riots...any of these things will help the cause, and produce drama and lulz at the same time.
The Office of Film and Literature Classification, in conjunction with ASIO and the Australian Federal Police, would like to state once and for all that were not trying to censor ALL the internets, just the ones with gay porn because we don't want those photos from back in uni to be seen by anyone else. That did enough damage to my reputation and all I could do was change my name and get a job with ASIO and single handdedly have to strike every bit of HTMLs that Lord Kevvy dont like. You dont realise how difficult a job I have here at the ASIO (Australian Spazzo Incontinence Organization). I have to do this with every wiki on every internets, and I dont even know HTMLs, they want me to do the same to things called "dynamically loaded" pages also--whatever the fuck they are.
Anonymous Is Not Amused
Ruddkipz Makez Policy
Ruddkip belongs to the Labor Party, the ravenous, cock-thirsty communist shit packers that rule Australia with an iron fist. Their main policies involve punishing the wealthy, educated, hard working, middle class and lower class through a complex system of rape, trisomy and FAIL.
Although Laborites have historically displayed a superhuman ability to turn Australia from economic prosperity into a latter stage of fecal decomposition, Australians, being the slow witted, self loathing white devils they are, continue to bring this rowdy bunch of socialist man breasts back in to government.
Some major Kevin Durrp policies include:
- Spitefully taxing John Howard's favorite drink: The Vodka Cruiser. However, this also destroyed fun for pre-teen girls and twinks, placing the price of "alcopops" well out of range of the other Aussie alcoholic staples: VB, Goonbag, and cock squeezings.
- Industrial production of Fail.
- Buying utes.
He Will Not Turn Gay!
On the Aussie TV show Rove Live, Kevin Rudd was asked: "Who would you turn gay for?" In other words, "who do you think is the sexiest man alive?" Rudd stammered and could not answer this simple question, as the possibilities swirled in his mind. "My wife Therese" he finally blurted out. Everyone laughed because his wife is a man.
He redeemed himself a few minutes later, however, when he bragged that despite looking like a nerd, he could definitely beat John Howard in a bar-room fight, because of the excellent kung fu skillz he learned in China.
RUDKIP LIEKS THE pROn
the latest rudkip news has shown that he has been following porn sites on twitter. The most damaging thing to his reputaion is being found out that he uses twitter as everyone knows twitter is for fags.
He claims that he followed them by accident and didn't event look at them. But this is blatant lie as it was also reported that his administration building had a shortage of paper towels
Some of the things he has followed are a porn blogger, a online adult superstore and a handcuffed bare-breasted woman, sex show webcams and a gay resort in Thailand's Phuket region.
Gallery
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He's givin' you teh finger! -
MAH CURRENT SUPPORTERS ARE UNDER 9000 -
How could he not win? Everyone lieks him. -
Become One With Ze Ruddkipz.
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Who wants sexy tiem? -
Even Mr T Agrees Mr Rudd is gewd. -
Proudly Leading You Into The Age Of Failz. -
The opposition. -
Vary angreh aftar losin. -
Don't be surprised if something like this happens to John Howard. -
This is his true passion. -
@w@ -
shi- -
Congratulations your Ruddkipz has Evolved! -
It's super effective! -
Rudd is an ass! -
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Great YouTube Campaigns of Kevin
World-class Broadband for Australia...
External Links
| Kevin Rudd is part of a series on Ausfailia [Expand]
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