Slavery

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You're welcome niggers - Love, white people
"Da projekts" circa 2346 BC.
Sim Nigra
True.
You can meet all your forced labor requirements at antislavery.org.
Proud American slave tradition.
You're a fucking white male!!

Slavery is the process of buying, stealing or otherwise acquiring another human to keep for shits and giggles, invented by niggers for niggers. There are no rules about how to care for them or what to feed them as there are for keeping other kinds of animals, so you can pretty much do as you please. In general, though, it's a good idea to feed them or eventually they'll die and you'll have wasted your money on a motionless corpse. Slave labor is the generally the most logical way to go because slaves aren't paid, so all money is profit and thus "????" can be replaced with slavery quite often. Wikipedia defines slavery as putting niggers to good use, because besides slave labor, niggers aren't good at anything else.

History

Slavery, started at least 100 years ago by Egyptian Africans (who knew?) was a philanthropic effort intended to provide gainful employment for the then backward, retarded maggots who were starving in various parts of the Mediterranean. It was a good time for all, especially after their Princess Cruise across the Atlantic, which brought many volunteer slaves. There were white women galore, and a new dish called fried chicken. Every slave was decked out in nice little butler outfits, played slide guitar, invented all kinds of things white people would imitate in the future, and slammed dunked basketballs over white maggots' heads. Whitey even tucked the little niggas into bed at night; "'night nigga", "'night massa", was heard every night in every house across the south. Whitey had all the free labor he needed to propel his economy to the forefront of the world. Everything was win-win, until the liberal assholes in the northern colonies came up with some bullshit called civil "liberties". Unaware that the "slaves" in the south were happier than pigs in shit, and that serving massa had become the nigger's greatest joy in life, they decided to "emancipate" the slaves. A war ensued, in which the niggers fought valiantly against their northern oppressors, knowing that liberation meant a life of self reliance, a foreign and hideous concept to the American nigger. Defeat soon followed for the south. Though their honor was avenged with the assassination of President Lincoln by John Wilkes Booth, a philanthropist who felt pity for slaves viciously separated from their kindly masters, there was no chance for a glorious return to a happy life as property. Scared and disoriented, the niggers scattered across the great nation of America. Unable to forgive the white man for tearing them away from their plantation paradise, the niggers have reverted to their prior state, hooting and swinging from fire escapes in search of white women to rape. In recent light it has been proven that niggers did in fact create the DMV in an attempt to get back at the man.

Thank you slaves!

The Game


Picking the Right Slave

For any potential , choosing the slave is often the hardest part. They come in so many varieties that it can be intimidating to a new buyer. From pale, varicose-veiny maggot-white to yellow to brown to black, there are dozens of breeds and hybrids to choose from. The following list should help a perspective buyer in his purchase:

  • Nigger (African): Many people will tell you this is your best choice. They are the classic variety of slave, and perform well in any area. Known for their exceptional strength and for their semi-rapid reproduction, they are the "classic" slave. From farm work to construction, they do it all fairly well. Another plus for this type of slave is their innate lack of intelligence, and due to this, Africans rarely revolt. They fail in only three areas, the first being their general unwillingness to work or expend energy. This can be corrected with the right motivation (whipping being the preferred method). Second is their predilection to steal things, especially from real people. Again, a good thrashing should deter this behavior. Last is cooking. Unless you want to live on fried chicken and collard greens, it is recommended to purchase a second slave for kitchen duty.Take heed, though: Your mom has been known to enjoy nigger cock.
    • Note that not all Africans make good slaves. The people who were taken to america were taken by trading ships, not warships. How do trading ships get slaves? They trade for them. The ships carried cotton to England, then went south to buy slaves, then west to exchange slaves for more cotton, and then back to England again. The original negro slave populations of America were purchased from their african masters. In other words: they are a sub-race bred to be slaves for possibly thousands of years.
  • Nigger (Caribbean): This oft over looked sub-variety of blacks make for very interesting slaves. They are usually about half the cost as African mainland slaves and usually half the quality. But on the plus side, if you are into the manufacturing and distribution of narcotics, you can't go wrong with one of these.
  • Western white people (Germans, Englishmen, Dutch and other white shit): The ancient Romans and the Ancient Greeks often had Germans and Gauls instead of slaves, kept men in cages like dogs, and women used instead of prostitutes. In countries such as England, in the earlier Middle Ages, 2/3 of the population consisted of villans and servants. (They were the property of feudal lords). The feudal lords beat them with a whip, raped these white niggas.
  • Asians: Most people discourage the use of Asians as slaves because they are weak and intelligent. As the Japanese have shown in World War II upon the Chinese of Nanking, Asians are best enslaved not for hard work but for the purpose of "Comfort Women". Some say that their math tutorials (aka when Romans used Greek slaves to tutor their children) and cooking ability makes up for the risk, but any decent Mexican can cook better than Asian cuisine. Today Communist China provides an example on how to enslave an Asian well: make sure you buy a young one, preferably an orphan, and exploit its innate submissiveness to fear you. Put it in school to have everyone bully him/her, subject your Asian to severe lashing for the slightest hint of failure, and then dump the pathetic orphan into a factory to work in one of Apple's assembly lines for all eternity. However, Asian Niggers such as Indonesians and Indians make great slaves, as they are usually strong and stupid as hell. Indians are good at math (not!) so they can't help you in ways a Chinman can. The Dutch have enslaved many Indonesians and took them as secret slaves to the Netherlands and guess what, these shoreniggers make great slave labor!
  • Mexican: There is a reason that they would rather be slaves in America than live in their total shithole-of-a-country. Mexicans are good for a variety of tasks, from home improvement projects to yard work. If you are into breeding your own slaves, this is often the best choice, as there have been cases of female slaves coming out of the womb already impregnated. Mexicans are preferable, as they are too lazy to revolt, but on a con in that they are the worst cooks. All their food is designed to give all non Mexicans the diarrhea. Unfortunately, supplies are expected to collapse because some asshole decided to kill them all because he believes these slaves steal jobs from Real Americans.
  • Jews: If you want to suicide, go ahead. They are greedy and intelligent in anything related to conning and taking your money, and when the Egyptians created an experiment in how to slave their growing population, they got utterly pwn3d by the evil sorcerer Moses and his Ten Plagues, reducing Egypt from the wealthiest superpower of the ancient world into the shit hole it is now. It is highly recommended to just burn your Jews for power. The Nazis are perhaps the only ones who slaved the Jews well, but they did it as part of "Extermination through labour," to speed up the killing process instead of actually breeding them for slavery.
  • Fags: They too much like whipping and BDSM, so impossible to discipline except for sex and satisfying the more useful slaves e.g. Niggers.

Traditional uses for slaves

  • Cleaning your car
  • Doing your homework
  • Peeling grapes
  • Whipping
  • Rape
  • Serving as a tangible example of why you're lucky for not being born a maggot.
  • Cotton picking
  • Fighting a pointless war in a south east Asian country
  • If you take maggot-bitches, you can have Sex with teh white wimminz (Careful she doesn't try to re-invent Feminism)
  • Looking after your kids who won't just stfu and leave you the hell alone so you can fuck your woman.
  • Shining your shoes
  • Keeping your farm animals sexually appeased (maggot wenches loves horse c0ck)
  • Gold Farming in WoW
  • Stealing your children
  • Performing fellatio (because everybody knows white bitches loves black c0ck)
  • ????
  • Profit!!!
  • buttsecks

Quotes

 
 
What exactly was the Great Emancipator emancipating the Negro from? From his daily bread? From the nobility of honest work? From wealthy patrons who sponsored them from cradle to grave? From clothing and shelter? And what have they done with their freedom? Why, go to South Africa, and you shall find out. No animal is born free, except the white man. And it is our burden to care for the rest of creation.


 


 

Ben Garrison, on slavery

See also


Slavery

is part of a series on

The History of The Lulz

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In Chronological Order


399BC: First recorded troll-banning
0AD: Knock knock! Who's there? It's Jesus, LOL
571: Birth of Muhahahahahammed
600: Blood orgies
1077: Invention of the meme archive
1100: DEUS VULT!
1337: Start of the Hundred Years War
1492: The Americas are culturally enriched
1573: Tycho doesn't invent the funny webcomic
1605: Guy Fawkes invents terrorism.
1789: The beret is mightier than the crown
1801: Invention of the Triforce
1850: World's first OH EXPLOITABLE image
1865: End of the Nigger Market
1877: Trolling world record broken
1888: First successful mixing of hookers and lulz
1914: World War 1
1927: Teh f1rst sk00l sh00ting
1939: World War 2
1944: The Lollercaust doesn't happen
1945: "Nag? Naga? Well... it's nagonna be there tomorrow that's fore sure." - Harry S Truman
1948: Best Korea is founded (along with Good Korea)
1955: America gets BTFO
1960: Awesomeness of swords discovered
1963: CIA did JFK
1987: First televised An Hero
1993: World Wide Web becomes available, Waco
1999: Counter Strike played IRL
2000: End of teh world due to computer errors.
2001: Bush, Saudis, and Jews do WTC
2004: ED founded
2005: Katrina and 7/7
2007: Cho Seung-Hui becomes the King of School Shooters
2011: Utoya Island Swimming School is opened
2013: ISIS founded
2015: Paris Attacks
2016: Donald Trump is elected president of the United States. (For the lulz.)
2017: Country music is back
2019: First livestreamed kebab removal
2022: The First Machine learning Chatbot just released.

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