Ruben Guzman

This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Ever since the heyday of A-Log, you'd think that numerous aspiring trolls and Chris Chan commentators would get the memo that troll shielding by going after one of their fellow spergs would only make them much more laughable targets. But no, it actually worked the other way around, and it brought about even more troll shielders, who seek to make fun of the bloated corpse of the king dead horse of the internet in order to distract from their own downfalls (or even cover up disturbing shit).

Nobody fits the bill better than Ruben Guzman.

The Man, The Myth, The Man Taking a Seat Right Over There

Ruben Guzman (also known as Ruben--X, The-Postal-Dude, The-Financier and likely more) is a wannabe womanizer, self-proclaimed asshole and the true and honest creator of some mediocre Sonichu parody. Akin to many before him, he acts like your average internet tough guy, most likely to make up for what little prowess he has offline. It's safe to assume that he's also a virgin, considering how he constantly flirts with anything that has tits, and to put it in a darker perspective, age doesn't mean shit to him, more on that later.

History

Ruben started out on deviantART as early as 2012. His first account didn't have much aside from one picture and a shit ton of selfies (mind you, he passes himself off as the handsomest motherfucker on the planet), and it was abandoned quite quickly. He created a brand new account at least a year later, and he started by joining in on the anti Pooh's Adventures bandwagon, which led to him getting a small following. He continued on that account until he gave it to one of his buddies in 2015. On his later account, he began the mediocre "parody" known as Sonikku, which, thanks to Chris Chan somehow still being relevant, got him more followers, but it all came to a head when it was revealed that his bottomless appetite for women expanded to some pretty dark territory. He dated this one girl and he showed signs of immense paranoia when she spent time with her loved ones. Even better, he flirts (via RPs) with any girl who's unfortunate to cross paths with him, and this is online, god help us all if he did this in real life. Long story short, he left dA, came back on a new account, closed it within a day and came back once more claiming to start anew (which ultimately went nowhere). And the legend doesn't end there. To this day, Ruben has yet to keep his pants on in the online presence of a girl, regardless of the age difference. He pretends that he's not a pedophile for flirting with minors, but he also pretends he's a decent human being, so one can see his acting skills at work. His taste in women is as well-developed as his sense of humor, of course. One such subject that really makes Ruben laugh is the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. Nothing quite like the burning bodies of the innocent to get a chuckle out of this "charming" character. Don't worry, he's totally reformed for the better[1].

Artwork

To put it bluntly, you could be the most talented artist on the internet, but that doesn't distract from the faggotry you express. Ruben's artwork looks like something Chris Chan would make if he used PaintTool SAI. It's just barely above passable. If he hadn't embarked on milking a lolcow as dry as Chris Chan to the point he ripped off the utters, he would be forgettable at best, and the quality of his artwork would be left alone. But no, he takes it a step further. Embracing the A-Log that dwells within him, he frequently went after artists who had shit artwork in order to take the heat off of himself.

Totally hilarious art About missing Pics

Yep, because that's what Morty would totally do to Chris-Chan.
Didn't realize Ruben had a fetish for anorexic technicolor humans.
Ruben fucks a furry.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

That anatomy though.
Two characters that are depicted as children normally are getting high in this picture. Not sure if Guzman realizes how OOC (Out of Character) this is.

The Japanese Name for Sonic

This is Ruben's attempt at epic win, a parody of Sonichu, which seals his fate as a try-hard troll shielder. If you could retract your Chris Chan hazing boner long enough, you could easily see the issues with the comic.

It's supposed to be a parody of Sonichu, but it's full of elements that detract from the source material, as well as cliched parody tropes and other bile, which really bring down the comic.
The name is unoriginality at its finest. All it really is is the Japanese name for Sonic. That's right, Ruben has less originality than the very man he's trying to leech off of.

Following the closure of the account he hosted the comic on, it's possible that the comic will be lost to the sands of the internet.

This is why you don't see any more Sonichu parodies.

Gallery

Pretends that his RHR character is real or some shit.
Embracing his sexual fantasies.
Yes Ruben. If you weren't completely honest and not be a fucking idiotic creep, then more people would respect you more.
Enough being a snooping pedo.
SPOILERS: He came back.

BTW, this was all from his Teh-Postal-Dude account, except for the last one.

Friends/White Knights/Detractors/Enemies

Former

RavagerEntertainment: A spic, Dreamworks fanboy and BLACKB0ND fanboy (formerly a BLACKBusterCritic fanboy until he backed out when the BBC showed empathy) who frequently quotes both niggers whenever he's participating in drama. Closest Ruben has to someone who doesn't have a vagina. He received Ruben's old account after Ravager's previous one got banned.
MTAD2: A more forgettable version of Ruben, with art of poorer quality. Enough said.
Channeleven: A Italian-American neckbeard who shares the same interests as the many autists that laid the foundation to this very site (particularly Cartoon Network, Sonic, Steven Universe and (if you want to push it) nu metal, but oddly, he doesn't suffer from Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. Has cameoed at least twice in Sonikku.
RockyToonz93: Not much is known about him, other than that he's a furry. Formally Ruben's friend.
JazzyJulie: A wannabe gangsta and nigger-lover who was always on Ruben's side. She draws really weird art and shit nobody cares about. Finally realized the beaner cuck's true colors. Nuff said.
RedKidd: An island nigger who's also a furry that draws gay shit and makes you question humanity with his stupid dank memes. Used to white knight the living shit out of this spic until being tired of his bullshit. Got his ip thanks to a help with the wigger named * CatKush: and also his gay ass boyfriend * ~~a--c-y-n-i-c-d-o-l-l~~ (account was deleted to avoid further faggotry, new account is unknown atm): was the reason why the furry island nigger betrayed the spic

People He Attempted to Troll

VannesteLand: Essentially a more retarded version of Chris Chan. He requested Ruben to make a poster for some autistic crossover (and he failed to provide specific details for how he wanted the post) and he pestered Ruben over when it'd be finished. Even after a drawn out Skype chat posted on YouTube, he hasn't learned a damn thing.
superkiel: The black version of VannesteLand, with even worse grammar. Gets a kick out of killing characters he hates (and has worse artwork to boot)
houseoffrancis: A 20+ British man who fauns over some fictional burger joint and various cartoons. Used to ride the anti Johnny Test bandwagon before backing out to save his own ass, only to deactivate his account when someone did a rant on him on YouTube.
VinIsBack and wlanreturns: Both are almost entirely the same (save for the latter having better artwork. The two were responsible for starting a bandwagon against some shows and were dumb enough to let their old accounts get hacked. Recently, their accounts were shut down. Whether or not they were hacked again is up to debate.
CatKush Your average autistic 15 year old who probably has meme accounts and is overall a cunt. She had recently stole Ruben's IP pretending to be a brainwashed ass kisser and her island nigger friend Redkidd, posted a journal with the IP and location.

Exes or Girlfriends

Kit-Karnage: Another one of the ass-holes exes, claimed he wanted sexual pictures from her, EDIT, he also did pedo revenge porn of her. She creates multiple accounts to escape the spic,
Puffypugs: A very underaged ex of the cucks. Ruben really did upset this girl. EDIT: She also forgave Ruben, she and her girlfriend are now allies with the spic.
TheOtakugirl148: One of Ruben's former girlfriends. EDIT : She forgave him for his sick desires, but both do not speak.
Karamatsugirllover92: A drama-whore ex of Ruben's. Both hate eachother. EDIT: She turned out to be a fellow paedophile aswell. She left dA and has escaped to youtube.

The Only true girlfriend the spic considers is his shit oc Red or RHR. then again, he could fuck his transgender fuckbuddy Peach instead.

Friends / Whiteknights

CoolKat2002: A fake-ass wannabe troll, eager to suck Ruben's dick.
lightningdood: A faggot who is helping Guzman doing his shitty Red Light District comic.
blakeandalex12: Another whiteknight
anolelightdragon: Another whiteknight who just only got here, defends a pervert spic who she doesn’t know, acts like a pre-teen drama queen. Likes to harass people who don’t agree with her opinions.
.deviantart.com Workingclasshero7 : A fail troll account created either by Ruben or anolelightdragon.

External Links

DeviantART Accounts

RubenGuzman His very first one. Uploaded a few pics and left. EDIT: Hacked. LOL!
H4rb1nge7 Made somewhere between his first famous account and his original account. Features his only hand-drawn pics. EDIT: Also hacked. LOL!
~~Ruben--X~~ Banned. Was given to a ban evader, and, well, the rest is history.
~~The-Financier~~ Deactivated.
~~Ruben-Guzman~~ Didn't even last a day.
~~Teh-Postal-Dude~~ ~~Active for now.~~ ~~Deactivated because Ruben knows he didn't learn his lesson.~~ ~~Reactivated and hacked. LOL!~~ Banned for now.
the-p0stal-dude He's back! Still never learned his lesson!
the-waster He just won't learn Deleted again, top kek. ~~May be the last we see of the fuckboy.~~ He's back...Again
the-drunken-assassin DEACTIVATED. claims he will return in 2018. DEACTIVATED
this-asshole Dude, does this asshole ever give up? DEACTIVATED
the-terminat0r created to gain sympathy, DEACTIVATED
an-renegade-angel Had a name change recently and he made a typo, what a dumbass! EDIT: DEACTIVATED
da-alpha-male yeah, an alpha male of stupidity. DEACTIVATED
Black-Sheepie he's back and his fuckboy levels are at an all time high. DEACTIVATED
a-manwhore a manwhore when it comes to drama. DEACTIVATED

Let's see if he returns...

Other Socials

RubenRuben - Also into furry shit. Has been abandoned for quite some time.
~~YouTube channel. Primarily dedicated to Pooh's Adventures faggotry.~~ Is no more.
Another one. Pretty much all that's left.
~~Facebook.~~ Got hacked and set to private soon after.
bearperton His Twitter. Take a wild guess.
~~Ruben-X~~ You'd have to wonder what password he uses.
Thread on the Kiwi Farms.