Ben Kuchera

I guess Ben would endorse this article

In his off-time Ben moonlights as a Jim Gaffigan impersonator. Primarily because of his looks, but also because of their mutual love of Hot Pockets.

Ben Kuchera is a bald-headed clickbait gaming "journalist" who has a tendency of trying to "hurt people's career" while drunk on imaginary power, which ends up repeatedly destroying his own. As a result he has now been reduced from working for relatively respectable gaming sites (as much as gaming news websites can be respectable) to being an opinion editor on a second-rate gaming site no one cares about that hands out the title "Editor" like a hipster handing out flyers for post-rock band on a street corner.

The site in general, and Kuchera in particular, is known for corruption, bush-league journalism and leeching off of stupid radical feminists using faux outrage over social justice issues despite the fact Kuchera himself has a long history of making rape jokes and calling people niggers, which he now tries to hide.

Kuchera before becoming an SJW clickbait artist

Ben started his "career" submitting articles to "Ars Technica", which is fitting because he is himself an ars. Eventually, when they realized he isn't leaving, they hired Ben to write for them. He worked there for about a decade before moving up to a real benchmark of internet journalism and joined Penny Arcade, where he had a comradery with one of the owners due to being equally bald. Originally, the show promised to "Change video game journalism", but after a couple of years of Ben writing about how video game controllers feel like tits, protecting the rights of racists while coining the term "Bigot Shaming", refusing to admit there is anything wrong with the rape simulator RapeLay, making an ass of himself by defending Xbox One's DRM and generally humiliating himself and Penny Arcade in a string of public spectacles, PA realized the segment had succeeded in changing gaming journalism for the worse and the column was shut down. Kuchera then moved down again to become the opinion editor of a shithole known as "Polygon".

But what's interesting isn't his sad excuse for a career, but rather the sort of things he used to say when he would regularly post on the Ars Technica forums. While today he is as full-fledged SJW, the Ben Kuchera of yesteryear was not the same. In his time on the forum Ben would often voice his contempt for immigrants, love for race and rape jokes and would call ignorant hood niggers retards. Ben was a pretty cool guy, calling people trannys, defending pedophiles and telling leftie apologists to take their white guilt and political correctness and shove it up their ass. A combination of this and his other antics caused him to be hated by the SJWs he now adores and a collection of his posts that sound like something out of a thread on EDF2 came back to haunt him when, during the GamerGate fiasco, someone gathered them all together and released an archive of them, earning him the nickname "Ku Klux Kuchera". We have screencapped most of the funny posts and here they are for your reading pleasure:

"Rape is lol"

"Politial correctness is bullshit"

"Wetbacks should learn to speak english"

More of that

Still harping on the mexicans

Ben calls someone a tranny

Ben knows "White Privilege" isn't real

Ben trolls retards on his forum and start social justice is a scam

More of that

"LOL ASS RAPE!"

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"I'm not a pedo buuuuut..."

Ben was so bad people thought he was trolling

Ben thinks black people talk like retards

He literally says that in this one!

And then he says it again!!!!

Finally, he's also sexist.

Kuchera asking for a link to the Paris Hilton sex tape for the site's "Skank Collection"

Kuchera wants to murder Ann Coulter

Kuchera is the Niggerest

Kuchera talks about 2pac and niggers

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"Go gas some jews"

Kuchera arguing against the very basis of SJ that he now adores

More of the same

More. It's like he used to not be retarded

"The CIA should rape more people"

Not sure what to say about this

Calling someone a queer

This thread is just old. He started it just to make fun of rape, autism, the holocaust, natural disasters and everything in between. We couldn't even get half of it in frame.

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After landing job as SJW clickbait artist

How the mighty have fallen. Today Ben is a social justice retard who spends a third on his time on secret mailing lists trying to secretly threaten people into shutting down discussions he doesn't like, a third on twitter trying to threaten people publicly into shutting down discussions he doesn't like and the final third writing articles about his friends and Patreon benefactors (like Zoe Quinn and the people who made "Gone Home") the discussion about whom he had recently attempted to shut down.

His shit site - Polygon

"Polygon" is the turd to end all turds. A decadent hell-hole staffed by talentless hacks and their family members that started with the intention to "Change gaming journalism" (are you noticing a pattern here)? The only change it managed to bring was an overly-busy design (nothing says "news" like style over substance), and giving every member of their staff a fake title to make them feel important (of the current 18 staff members only three are listed simply as "Reporter").

The site is shithole where ethics go to die. Infamous for its nepotism, shoddy reporting and the fact Ben's head is so giant and bald that he looks like a bobble head. Think that there is no way a site could be that corrupt, and that Ben Donating to Zoe while both reporting and white knighting her is a one time thing? Well, what about the time the managing editor Justin McElroy hired his fucking brother to work there, even though he is less qualified than Kuchera?

Nepotism not your thing? How about them being literally nothing more than a Microsoft commercial? As in - Polygon received three quarters of a million dollars to produce a 9 part, 90 minute long movie about themselves, the estimated production value of which was one tenth of that, and pocketed the rest of the money after either producing or not producing this movie (no one knows if they did or didn't because no one watched it). Ever since, as a statistical analysis has shown, they have given consistently higher scores to anything related to Microsoft than any other site an vice versa for their competitors.

Still no good? What about straight-up fucking bribes? Like the one that one of the writers accepted from a publisher in exchange for writing a good review? Which is funny because when Brian Crecente was the EiC of Kotaku he used to have a problem with this sort of thing. I guess not anymore! But you don't have to pay money to get a good review on Polygon! No! You can just be one of the writer's friends! Which brings us to...

PolyGone-Home

"Gone Home" is the #2 game in video game history as far as dull walking simulators are concerned, right behind Depression Quest.

The game was worshiped in the gaming "press" because it was glorified pro-gay propaganda made by gay people, about gay people and for self-hating straight SJW's. Even though absolutely everyone hated it and were so adamant on it not being a game that the people who positively reviewed it had to write follow-ups to argue that "OMG YES IT IS YOU FUCKING SHITBAGS!", the "game" still got by on a variety of overly-positive reviews written by the creator's personal friends like Leigh Alexander, who was seen in pictures hanging out with one of the creators, and Kirk Hamilton of Kotaku who was seen talking about watching movies with another.

But, of the sites who gave this pile of crap good reviews, none are more guilty than Polygon, two of the writers of which were either long-time friends with the developers or recent guests on their web-show. The site even gave GH a perfect 10/10 score (one of only 8 in the site's history) and named it its "Game Of The Year" even though all of the site's readers complained that it was shit (how the fuck can it be perfect when Kuchera himself once criticized it along with everyone for being too short?).

By comparison, "Bayonetta 2", which had received a perfect score from every other site, got a 7.5 from a writer who couldn't find anything bad to say about it but still docked it 2.5 points because you could sort of see Bayonetta's ass.

Part 1 of GH/Polygon connections
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Noteworthy Staff

(I started writing this thinking I would only find a couple of people worth talking about but literally almost everyone on the staff is either corrupt or insane)

Julia Alexander - Main Entertainment Reporter- Stupid dyke bitch and main entertainment reporter for Polygon who's known for making smear articles and hit pieces on people. She and Kuchera LOVE to fuck around with each other.

SaMANtha Allen - No longer employed there - The crown jewel of psychopaths, "Samantha" attacked GiantBomb over hiring white people and then wrote a lengthy blog about how "she" hates men, how no man will ever understand what it feels like to be born into a world where you are discriminated against and how, to be worthy in Allen's eyes, a man must first be "baptized in menstrual blood", just before "quitting" Polygon and game journalism "forever" due to "harassment" and going to work for another gaming site about a month later. All this despite the fact Allen himself was born into this world as one of the men he hates and who were the majority contributors to the KickStarter financing a sex-change for him and his imaginary llama.

Justin McElroy - Managing editor - Hired his fucking brother.

Brian Crecente - News editor and founder - Used to be the editor-in-chief of Kotaku and refused to accept bribes. No longer cares.

Arthur Gies - Reviews editor - Openly threatens indie devs on twitter for not agreeing with him and an avid feminist when he isn't getting caught leaving creepy comments on Suicide Girls.

Griffin McElroy - Senior editorial producer - Managing editor's brother. Uses the site to promote games made by his facebook friends(/Zoe Quinn's lovers).

Phil Kollar - Deputy reviews editor - Gave a perfect 10/10 score (one of only 8 in the site's history) to a Blizzard game despite previously working for a site with connections to Blizzard.

Matt Leone - Deputy features editor - Calls people faggots.

Danielle Riendeau - Senior reviewer - Friends with one of the creators of Gone Home, gave them another one of the only 10/10 review scores and openly promotes genocide.

Susana Polo - Entertainment editor - Recently hired former founder of radical feminist site "TheMarySue" that once hired Sarah Butts to write for them and then denied it ever happened when they found out he's dog fucker despite his articles still being on the site.

Emily Gera - Senior reporter - Thinks "Republican" is an insult. (fired)

Colin Campbell - Senior reporter - Thinks "Conservative" is an insult.

Other Controversy

Kuchera Vs. Erik Kain

What really brought Kuchera to the spotlight as a giant joke was the time he got into it with Erik Kain.

Kuchera (and the rest of the game journalism core) had always been jealous of Kain because Kain write for "Forbes" which is a real publication while Kuchera's closest thing to success was writing for Ars Technica before downgrading to doing PA's dirty work for them (and later moving even lower down the ranks to Polygon). He vented his anger by constantly taking cheep-shots at Forbes on his twitter where none of the people who work there will ever see it even if any of them had thought he is important enough to respond to.

Kuchera and most of the rest of the gaming journalism circlejerk were particularly angry at Kain for writing an article about what a bunch of Faggots they are shortly after "Doritogate". Kain had already recognized what was going on and called them all out on it over a year before GamerGate happened. But the time for Kuchera's petty revenge finally came (or so he thought).

After Kain had published an article about a company trying to pass off an old game as new and suggested people just use a free emulator, Kuchera jumped on the opportunity to accuse Kain of advocating piracy, asking his twitter followers to go harass him and stating both publicly and privately that he is doing this in a deliberate attempt to ruin his career (which is funny because I could have sworn Kuchera had absolutely no problem with emulators just two years prior).

But it wasn't Kain's career that was ruined because, while Kain simply talked to his editor, edited the article and calmly talked to Kuchera and everyone else on Twitter, Kuchera sperged the fuck out in anger that people were actually asking him questions and that it has been a full 2 hours already and Kain's career was not yet over. He continued by calling Kain names, telling him that Forbes is a rag and claiming he "Doesn't even know who Kain is", despite constantly trying to start shit with him. He continued by claiming all of Erik's readers and fans are racists, that the only people criticizing him are people from 4chan and Something Awful who are all White supremacists and finally by doing this:

He then went on to start blocking everyone on twitter as faggots like Jason Schreier of Kotaku and Ian "Little Hitler" Cheong all jumped to his defense and attacked Kain, further proving he was right about them being incestuous homos.

But it didn't end there because Kuchera can't stand for criticism of him to even exists. When he found out that people were talking about him on GiantBomb he headed over there despite it being a rival site. After some futile attempts to talk to the people on the forum who were all just telling him to go fuck himself, he BAWWWWd to one of the moderators to have the thread shut down.

But it was too late because by that point he had already become a giant laughing stock.

Ben Cries "Rape" - Small Children are Beaten

In another case of politically-driven revenge attempts, Kuchera decided to try and end the career of Brad Wardell when he was falsely accused of rape.

As the story goes, one of Wardell's employees was stealing from work (and not office supplies but code for a game) and when she was caught tried to get out of it by claiming Wardell had raped her. Seizing upon this opportunity, Kuchera immediately wrote an article on Penny Arcade (without reaching out to Wardell for comment) where he treats the allegations as facts and describes the events with detail that would make you think he's trying to write a romance novel for horny, middle aged women. However, the case was soon dismissed with prejudice when the whore admitted it was all a lie.

Thanks her actions and those of Kuchera, not only was the game ruined and never released, but Wardell also received multiple death threats and his kids were beat up in school. And while many websites have since pulled the story or even apologized, Kuchera continues to refuse to admit he did anything wrong or even that Wardell didn't rape anyone.

But why? Why would Kuchera publish sloppy attack articles about someone's baseless allegations when he himself tried to threaten The Escapist into shutting down the GamerGate thread on their forum to "protect a victim from false allegations"? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that, according to inside sources close to Kuchera, he was deliberately trying to ruin Wardell's career because he hates him for being a republican.

Believes Tetris is communist propaganda

In what can only be described as something that would make McCarthy green with envy, Benny and his red scare paranoia believes that Tetris is actually a tool of the communists to take over the world or something. One can't expect a game journalist to do any research or have any actual knowledge of the world. This is the definition of Full McIntosh.

The Kremlin built in 1561 only predates communism with several centuries

The music that predates Communism is communist

Yes, Tetris is really about entropy in thermodynamics

Go to this link if you want to read more about this and see a detailed explanation of every single thing wrong with what Kuchera said.

Blogger Criticizes Game Journalism - Kuchera tries to kill his girlfriend

Ben Paddon is some nobody brit blogger that criticizes video game journalists. Meaning that, like all people who criticize video game journalism, Kuchera must make him pay!!!! (or at least try, fail and horribly embarrass himself). When the britbong lost his job he was forced to start E-begging and promised to use 100% of that money for his rent. Soon after he broke that promise by using $10 out of that money to do laundry before a job interview so he doesn't have to live on hand-outs anymore and some of the rest of it to buy medicine for his girlfriend so she wouldn't die. Despite none of the people who donated to him having a problem with this, and despite him giving full disclosure about it, which is as foreign to Polygon as cats are to the surface of Venus, Kuchera decided to go on a rampage about it on twitter and make himself look like a psychopath.

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Kuchera ended the tantrum by reminding everyone that he's still a xenophobe by telling Paddon to "Go back to where he came from".

Kuchera tries to get random guy fired on twitter

After having failed to "ruin the career" of his fellow (far superior) colleagues, Ben turned to trying to regain his false sense of power by trying to ruin the "careers" of absolute nobodies like this guy who argued with Kuchera on twitter so Kuchera started tweeting at his boss and attempting to get him fired from his menial, easily replaceable job. It is unclear whether he succeeded (even if he did, the guy can replace it with literally any other job), but what is clear is that Kuchera once again made an ass of himself when he tried to paint himself as a hero for doing this, resulting in this:

Kuchera the Brony sympathizer

Kuchera is no stranger to threatening people online, from fellow journalists like Kain and Pinsof from "Destructoid" who's blacklisting he spearheaded after he exposed a tranny running a donation fraud, to random store clerks he doesn't like. But in one bizarre incident he picked a really interesting reason to do it over.

Patricia Hernandez of "Kotaku" had written an article about Bronies, to which Kuchera responded by writing his own article attacking her article. In the end, Kotaku's article was "updated" and Kuchera's article was deleted. But it just goes to show that, even when Ben is attacking tumblr-bred retards, he's doing it to defend someone even worse.

Fired?

File:Kucherafired?.jpg

After many months of GamerGate putting every idle threat he makes on bast, right on the heels of Emily Gera being fired from Polygon, Ben announced that he "Taking a break" in a long-winded article that no one cares about in which he blames gamers for him being lazy and incompetent.

Pretty much everyone is speculating that he was actually fired and that this is the site's way of gracefully fading him out.