Sophie Lancaster
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The dumb bitch's parents seem to have had their butts hurt, read about it here. |
Sophie Lancaster was a 20 year old goth from the UK (More specifically Bacup famed for it's inbreeding) who was pwned by a group of chavs for being a goth. She along with her equally emo boyfriend were attacked on August 11th 2007. Reports say the attack was unprovoked but as with all 'alternative' weirdos, "they were obviously asking for it". The whole saga prompted the goth/emo/whatever community into standing up for themselves against unjust oppression claiming "U DONT UNDERSTAND!!!111ONEELEVEN1".
Nobody cared.
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The Attack
On the night of 11th August 2007, Sophie and her boyfriend Robert Maltby were walking through a park, probably on their way to a graveyard or wherever goths go to cry these days. Whilst they were walking, Ryan Herbert and Brendan Harris, a pair of chavs dole monkeys approached Maltby, asked him "U WOT M8?" and proceeded to ruin his night. Like most chavs, the attackers were complete cowards. Unfortunately, Maltby's woman was also a emo/goth (as well as being a woman), and as such was quickly dispatched as well. For her crime of getting involved with men enacting SERIOUS BUSINESS she bore the brunt of the attack and was duly, and fairly, curb stomped. Soon after, a moralfag informed the emergency services.
Upon finding Sophie the paramedics noted that in her state of rape, they didn't know whether she was a man or woman. The world failed to note what was abnormal about this.
After the attack she was taken to hospital, where natural selection ended what the chavs had started.
Postgame drama
After the pwning, the old media collectively shit themselves because kids attacking each other is unheard of, right? The Sun, Daily Fail, and The Express were even moar surprised when they found out that good British kids were beating the shit out of themselves instead of immigrants and Muslims. The more 'alternative' members of the UK population cried persecution, and bitched about how people shouldn't judge them on their looks while claiming all chavs are evil and violent, while the likes of Kerrang! magazine ran countless pointless articles about how goths are people too. It should be noted that the intensely small inbred community of Rossendale also peer pressured many people into caring when they didn't, and even now the attention whoring mother appears in the Rossendale free press all of the time, BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY INTERESTING THING TO HAPPEN EVER, furthering the case for the incident being overall beneficial to the area. The media, as usual, continues to troll the area, with over 56 separate front page dedications to this "tale of human cruelty and ignorance". It's devolved into a low budget version of Diana with white trash.
The heroes who performed this service to society were tried and convicted of murder, and given over 9000 years imprisonment. They are currently appealing on the grounds that in reality they did the world a favour, and should be knighted rather than locked up with bubba.
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Public servicemen -
Did it for the lulz
Proud to be different Campaign
Bizarre magazine launched their 'Proud to be different' campaign to highlight the fact that goths and other morons have emotions other than butthurt and angst, inspired by Sophie's death. For those who don't know, Bizarre is a fap mag for camwhores and freaks who try to outdo each other by making public their fantasies about being sodomised by the corpse of Bill Hicks while dressed in bondage gear or some other lame shit.
Their official website contains many of these people BAAAAAWWWWWWWWing because the world doesn't like them. This is inherently funny.
—Chav evolution documented via the gradual advancement of their tools. |
—Sparta gets involved. |
—Proof goths are walking vaginas. |
Jewtube Faggotry
Previous Video | Next Video
TL;DR
Goth got stomped. BAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!111
You Maaaad, You Maaad.
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Facebookfags butthurt -
BAAAAAWWWWWW -
Goths can't take a joke. -
lol, irony. -
Sophie supporters like it when kids die. But who doesn't? -
Someone needs to learn to internet. -
GROW A PAIR!
LOL, Deleted
Recently, a growing number of concerned netizens have tried to blank this article. It is recommended that these people lurk moar and pay attention to the internets. If you come across one of these dick-splashes, feel free to offer advice.
Goths Have Their Say
—Butthurt goth being butthurt because he didn't think to write this article first. |
—Goth doesn't know when to stop typing |
—I thought goths were supposed to be eloquent |
—LOL, Goths |
—The goth who vandalised this article clearly doesn't understand irony or hypocrisy. |
—ED. Chav haven. Apparently. |
—dannyboy, who blanked this page and posted this in its place. Lol, reverted. |
—dannyboy, again. Before giving up. |
In the news
In 2011, some shitty news site decided to run a spot on this article, showing that her (alleged) "friends" are still severely hurt in the butt about the loss of this two-bit crackwhore.
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However, a thorough investigation reveals that her parents are so devastated by ED because they were in fact the ones to take her life, and feel the site is disrespecting their noble actions by giving the credit and honor away to some random punks. Not to fear, Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster, we will do our best to spread the word of you doing God's work by removing this scumbag from the face of the Earth.
See also
In the tubes
- Facebook memorial group
- Shitty memorial site Trollbait
- Daily Fail article
- Memorial page made by her mom
- Yet Another Memorial
Her fag boyfriends Facebook"Please enter a query", the fuck?Bizzare magazine's shitty forumDELETED!Another Failbook Tribute groupLooks like it's been baleeted.
| Sophie Lancaster is part of a series on  The British |
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Sophie Lancaster is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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| Featured article October 18, 2011 & October 19, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Christian Spanking Blogs |
Sophie Lancaster | Succeeded by Bryci |
