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 GAWKER.COM HE DED!
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Gawker Media is (was lol) an American blog network founded by Nick Denton✡, a cockmongling, turd-burgling Jew from hell. It comprises 13 or 14 different web sites, which try desperately to churn out snippy, “hip” remarks that will garner pageviews from middle-aged fats in Methtown, USA -- i.e., the only people who still consider Gawker relevant. Above even VICE media, Gawker is the most reviled "news" reporting outlet in existence presently and are only topped by Buzzfeed for the title of clickbait king. Aside from spending all their resources in publishing fluff articles they are prone to becoming obsessed with stories about how other pockets of the Internet are more important than them (GamerGate). All commentators must be a daily cum bucket for the mods and worship all that is spoken on the crap blogs, there is no trolling or lulz in comments EVAR (besides "Jezebel"). Obtaining +v requires a newborn for jew sacrifice and a thorough probing by large webmaster cocks. It's important to note this article is edited at least once a day by contributors to Gawker Media. You can help by reverting their edits, identifiable because they read like advertising copy written by faggot Brooklynites who were unable to land real jobs. If you're looking for a challenge, don't hesitate to drive the founder's daughter into a suicidal cutting rage as she is a tumblr user who will end her life at the drop of a reblog.
Anything published on Gawker can hardly be considered news and won't even be touched by the worst tabloid. Whenever you hear about Gawker it usually has something to do with some new scandal their inept staff has gotten themselves embroiled in, including: bribe, not paying their interns, waving their flaccid dicks at oncoming traffic, threatening their readers and getting the comment section at Jezebel spammed with rape porn.
Gawker Journalistic Practices
- See also: Gawker Dies 2015
Gawker is to journalism what fucking a toothless crack-whore for $2 and getting herpes and your wallet stolen is to sex.
Gawker has been known to stoop to lows that even the shittiest rag of a newspaper won't reduce itself to. While tabloid journalism seems to have hit rock-bottom, Gawker is always ready to plumb new depths of depravity and hypocrisy by doing things like bribing people, leaking peephole nudes and running borderline porn sites with one hand, all the while running the kind insane feminazi, social justice propoganda sites masquerading as news that call for castration of all men who leak nudes on the other.
All this while their hard-working writers and even editors are busy having verbal slapfights with people on twitter, when they aren't already too busy with getting sued for not paying their interns.
Giant Class-action Lawsuit by Unpaid Interns
In their latest fuck-up, Gawker is doing everything they can to try and hide the fact they are being sued by their unpaid interns, from their unpaid interns.
Recently, the courts ruled that the interns at Gawker, who were not getting paid, have a case against them. Gawker responded by telling the court that working for Gawker is payment in itself, and proceeded to do their best (and fail at) reducing to a minimum the ways in which they have to inform them.
This all despite the fact that Gawker constantly talking about themselves spearheading transparency and criticizing others for not doing the same. This is even more funny if you remember that Gawker has posted article, after article, after article, after article, after article brow-beating other people in the industry for fighting these kinds of cases, not paying their interns or not paying them enough, while they themselves were not paying them at all.
So remember to signal boost this, and is you know anyone who interned at Gawker let them know so they can get in on the action.
Gawker Stalker
Despite Gawker's current grandstanding against such Internets 'horrors' as cyber-bulling and White Knighting against Anonymous, Gawker's initial claim to fame in 2006 was when they started a "stalker map", called "The Gawker Stalker", so Manhattanites could get mobile alerts as to where their fave celebrities were getting Starbucks and shit and go harass them IRL.
After this interview, Emily Gould had a nervous breakdown an BAAWWWED about it in the Jew York Times. You can help by tracking her down and cyber-bullying her.
Adrian Chen's coverage of Jessica Leonhardt cyberbullying
[[Image:remystern.png|thumb|right|Current Former Gawker Editor in Chief Remy Jew.]]
Last Thursday, Gawker resident gaysian Adrian Chen decided to farm pageviews by attempting to rile /b/ with his coverage of Ebaums's raid on Jessi Slaughter and trolling of her supposed rapist. While /i/nsurgents and Gawker commenters alike quickly deduced this chink's self-serving plot, a small number of newfags started threads urging a DDoS of Gawker and, predictably, a raid on Chen himself. Gawker contributors, hoping for some of Denton's sweet sweet jewgolds, greedily screencapped these cancerous posts and re-published them as evidence of a /b/-Gawker feud. Of course, in doing so they ignored the replies of the majority of /b/tards who, in a display of uncharacteristic wisdom, saged the cancer and disregarded Chen's attention-whoring. Gawker continues to milk this non-incident, portraying itself as a muckraking martyr standing strong against cyberbullies.
Moar info: Adrian Chen.
Gawker is easily hacked. Use at own risk.
Sunday 12th of December 2010, oh the lulz. Passwords and personal data for 1.3 million, 1.3 MILLION, Gawker Media readers — this includes readers of sites like Gizmodo, Kotaku, and a few other fag sites — have been released as a torrent by a group of hackers called Gnosis, who also managed to gain access to both the Gawker CMS and Gizmodo's Twitter account. Brilliant. You can download the torrent here.
In short: never use Gawker. Log in and post snark at your own damn risk, fgt.
Sued by the Fucking Hulk
After leaking nudes of Hulk Hogan, the hulkster piledrove them into court. At which point they brilliantly tried to pawn the lawsuit costs off on their insurance firm in a way that constitutes insurance fraud and losing another 1/2 million dollars in the process.
But, but, but.....HUZZAH, thanks to the hulk and Peter Thiel, Gawker Media LLC declared bankruptcy! Then sold out to Univision and croaked the big croak!! Moar asshole hipsters on the street eating from garbage cans!!
—HAHAHAHAHA | ||
Even The Female Employees Are Sexist Assholes
—--[1] |
List of Other Scandals and sundry Horse Shit
- Reposting the Tom Cruise Scientology video with no regard for the law.
- Posting screencaps of the Palin email leaks, again, with no regard for the law.
- Posting naked videos taken through a peephole of journalist Erin Andrews.
- Posted video of actor Eric Dane and his wife, naked with a woman who is a former Miss Teen USA and beauty queen.
- When Wikileaks went down, Gawker blamed the wrong host for it, getting them a bunch of angry calls about a site they didn't own.
- Leakd some shirtless pics of a congressman that he sent to someone on Craigslist.
- Bribing mods on reddit and getting all Gawker links banned (a second time).
- Doxing Violentacrez.
- Sending a reporter to an electronics trade show to yell, interrupt them and play with the screen with his remote control.
- Got banned from all Apple events after buying the, then unreleased, iPhone 4 from some guy who found it in a bar.
- Various writers giving money to or getting money from people they report on.
- When Max Temkin, creator of "Cards Against Humanity", was accused of rape, Kotaku was quick to point out that he should not be denying the allegations even if they are false.
- Saying Brad Wardell is guilty of rape before he even went to court (turns out he wasn't).
- Calling God of War creator David Jaffe a boarderline rapist because of an off-hand comment he made.
- Buying votes for the Baseball Hall of Fame election in 2013.
- Reported the death of the girlfriend of linebacker Manti Te'o, which was apparently a hoax. Gawker found no evidence that the girlfriend had ever existed, much less died.
- Published an article that Cory Gardner, the Republican who ran for senate in Colorado, had faked his high school football career. Cory Gardner tweeted photographic evidence of himself in his football uniform.
- Offering money for leaked photos.
- Doxing people.
- Kicking out the black editor of Jezebel to replace her with a white one.
- Getting a porn site run by Gawker blacklisted in Australia.
- Starting shit with other news sources.
- Twice misreported the identity of the author of the Fake Steve Jobs blog
- Falsely reported that a drunk employee caused a major power outage by relying on the gossip of an unidentified source. They often have this problem.
- Getting banned from "Hacker News" for being filled with bullshit.
- Outing gay people.
- Writing a story based on a testimony of a guy who slept with right-wing candidate Christine O'Donnell and talking about how she has a hairy pussy.
- Having their writers being called shit by Pulitzer-Prize winning authors.
- Outing an accountant for lulz and page views
Gawker's GamerGate Fiasco
Gawker Ran ass-first into GamerGate. Both because their ex-employee is now the editor of Polygon, and because their website Kotaku (which is their most profitable site... how sad is that?) was, by-far, the most guilty party in the fiasco, having their writer Nathan Grayson sleep with Zoe Quinn for good reviews of a game he helped make and writing articles at her request to sabotage charities where the money from which would have gone to sick children.
Gawker quickly threw all their websites behind Kotaku and had most of them write articles about how GamerGaters are all a bunch of faggots (despite most of the sites having nothing to do with video games) to create the illusion that this is the opinion of various people and not a single editor running 20 separate sites.
Soon more allegations arose that Gawker is to blame for m00t's GamerGate Sellout because they may be paying him off with money (under the false pretense of investments in his new project) and sex with one of their employees.
But Gawker wasn't done being idiots yet. Gawker personality Sam Biddle stepped in with his retarded opinion, saying that he supports bullying and told people to beat up a nerd, and when his boss was contacted about it he told people to fuck off. Since this was anti-bullying month, it was a perfect chance to fuck over Gawker.
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Lol, we should beat up these pissbabies! -
I was just pretending to be retarded! -
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Hey Sam, when's your next standup routine?
Bye Bye Money
Gawker's advertisers were flooded with emails. The first thing Gawker tried to do, in a classic display of Gawker professionalism, was to hide their list of sponsors. However, Internet Archive was soon used to dig them back up and continue mailing. Soon enough a number of companies announced that they are pulling their ads from the site while others responded to emails by saying that they had pulled their ads from Gawker over a year ago and have no idea why the fuck their name is still listed up there. Again, classic Gawker.
When you are so toxic even EA wants nothing to do with you, then your failure has metastasized.
After this, Gawker tried to do damage control and said it was all a "joke" and that they were "sorry". But the emails didn't stop and neither did the internet detectives with nothing coming even close to a life, who soon leaked emails between a Gawker's senior staff member and his employees. The most interesting part of the email is the one underlined.
As you can see, he mistakenly admits that they have been trying to control the narrative about GamerGate using their various sites.
And, since this is Gawker and the people on top have no control over their own fucking staff, the writers ignored what they were told and went on to post an attack article about the people emailing their advertisers, call Intel, which still has ads with them, "Craven idiots", writing an article to bully Wizardchan and try to troll Christina Hoff Sommers on twitter alongside Gawker's fucking editor (and subsequently lose to an old lady at trolling).
Hilariously, Gawker announced later that week that they are promoting him. Even more hilariously, if you look at his title change (from editor to head writer) you will realize this is actually a demotion.
fite me irl fgt
Mega attorney at lol "Mike Cernovich" hates bullies and decided to use this as a way to screw with all of Gawker, which he also despises.
Sam doesn't have any balls so he quickly tucked his tail between his legs when Mike Cernovich challenged the pussybitch to a boxing match. Not even a sweetener of 10,000 dollars for charity made Sam go 3 rounds as he is nothing but a keyboard warrior to a degree that even EDiots would be ashamed. Mike went on to write several articles mocking Gawker's retardation, how they fell for his obvious trap and fucking around with SJW using the fact he's a rich, powerful lawyer to threaten anyone who dares fuck with him with legal action. He dug up tweets of Gawker's Max Read giving rape advice, and this wonderful video of Biddle at his most autistic:
New Tactic: Literally Shilling
During GamerGate there were a lot of /pol/ style conspiracy theories going around, but there is no way any of them could be true, right? I mean, exposing a group of 150 journalists colluding with one another was merely a coincidence, right? After all, there is no way there could be such a thing as "shills", right? No news site owner in his right mind would literally pay his employees to pretend to be GamerGaters and try to get them to stop, right!?
Wrong.
Nick Denton actually payed his interns (I bet those are words you never expected to be put together into a sentence) to pretend to be GG supporters and promote in-fighting in GamerGate by starting pointless arguments about what is and isn't right for them to do like a bunch of SJWs. When he felt that this was becoming successful he rushed over to his facebook to brag about it like the most retarded Bond villain in history.
But Nick forgot one thing: All his employees despise him.
And why wouldn't they? He's an angry autistic sperglord who doesn't pay them any money. So, naturally, one of them took a screencap of his private Facebook and leaked it (again).
Nick responded by posting the following butthurt rant, wherein he implicitly threatens to murder whoever leaked it whenever he finds out who he is, before deleting his account.
Sadly, the person who uncovered this is a massive twat who everyone hates as much as Denton. He lied and said that this was sent to him by Steve Totilo of Kotaku himself, but it was obviously bullshit. He still insists the leak is real (just from someone else), but no one believes him anymore.
The Aftermath of GamerGate
In the process of Gamergate Gawker confirmed they had lost a 7 figure sum and Denton stepped down as president and had to put in place a committee to handle things in the company less like retards.
About Gawker Itself
Now that we've talked about all the borderline illegal shit and various humiliations that Gawker has been a part of, let's talk about the site itself, who and how to use it.
Commenter Auditions
Once upon a time, Gawker's commenter audition policy helped the site maintain a media-insider feel, but now it is basically a glorified captcha. Although the comments do seem devoid of spambots, most of the commentators are earnest unfunny libtards who don't even hail from NYC.
If you want to become a Gawker commenter, the first thing you should do is re-assess your priorities seeing as howsi zoophiliac scat porn would be a more dignified choice. But maybe you want to infiltrate Gawker for purposes of trolling, in which case you should just follow these simple guidelines when penning your audition:
- Mention SI Newhouse, Graydon Carter or the Conde Nast cafeteria. The rest of your comment can be total shit. Gawker has long harbored an obsession with all things Conde, since most of them are too fat to work there.
- Comment as a gay man. They'll worship you as a sassy affluencer regardless of what you say.
- Use mostly immaculate spelling and punctuation (Gawker are olds), except when writing about the internets you should throw in some icanhazcheezburger-derived piss-poor caturday-tribute language, channeling your mom who just discovered an impossibly tame image macro and spammed it delightedly to her AOL buddy list.
- Try to seem knowing and disaffected, except if commenting about Apple or Obama in which case you should bleed sincerity.
Alternatively, if you wish to become an approved Jezebel commenter, rather than opting to place a finger in a Rapex-guarded vagina, follow these rules for super success to-the-max FTW:
- Share your rape story. Even if you don't have one, try re-imagining that time you were lying in bed with your husband and he rubbed his MANhood against your back whilst you were trying to sleep. In your slumbery state, know that both your free will and faculty for consent were limited. It was a violation, whether or not you are willing or able to come to terms with that. Your husband is a latent rapist. All men are.
Relationship between Gawker and internets
Gawker's internets coverage has been steadily increasing since Project Chanology. The reasons for this are twofold. First, Gawker is desperate to keep its brand young and edgy, and just like the dumbfucks in the old media they are endlessly fascinated by web 2.0, memes etc which they believe are the future. The result is a bunch of pussy 27-year-old Greenpoint residents trying to be youthful and clever by writing their same old posts about Conde Nast (srsly), then filling them with expressions like IDK and then tagging them "epicfail"}} (Then they try to criticize old media for doing the exact same thing). Gawker is like the character Eugene Levy plays in every shitty teen comedy: He vomits up lewd teen lingo in effort to seem "with it" but just ends up embarrassing himself and everyone watching. The second reason for Gawker's rampant homosexual lust over ED, /b/ et al. is that Gawker bloggers are paid based on the number of pageviews they generate, and believe that baiting the chans will earn them a big fat paycheck. You can help by not even visiting these links, since enabling adblock, while helpful, does not diminish pageview count. Raiding gawker and its employees is futile unless you have dogmongling pics of them, since they are all aspiring new media personalities who welcome the traffic and lack any sense of shame.
Gawker site list - Can't keep track of them all:
Gawker Media sites the internet actually gives a fuck about:
- Kotaku: About the latest new games; critique, nostalgia, prediction, design. Always 2 weeks behind in news. Basically the National Enquirer of gaming blogs. Mostly known for its writers exchanging sex for favorable reviews. As Nathan Grayson did with Zoe Quinn, Patricia Hernandez with two of her roomates/lovers and pretty much everyone else on that site who will gladly give you 5 stars for one blowjob.
- Jezebel: Fat, far-left cumdumpsters who graduated from mediocre liberal arts colleges, wear crap purchased off Etsy and are on a perpetual righteous feminist crusade to get fashion mags to feature more obese nigras. The Gawker commenter-audition filter tries to prevent you from trolling these whores; fortunately, they are weaklings who take everything supersrsly, so it doesn't take much to set them off. Staff writer Tracie Egan once declared in an interview that she was "too smart" to be raped - a comment which outraged much of the readership and led to calls for her resignation - but Nick Denton kept her on staff, because she generates lots of pageview$, which in turn funds his penchant for fudgepacking Manhattan rent boys.
"Jizzebel" is currently known for being the site that calls anything and everything rape.
The rest of the turds:
- Anthropophage: News for the on-the-go, net-savvy gay German cannibal
Consumerist: Like Consumer Reports, for faggots who majored in Marxist Labor Theory at someplace like Tufts.Broke away from Gawker, now owned by Consumer Reports.- Deadspin: Sports news and gossip for people who can't read long words.
- Defamer: It's like a tabloid, but attracts fewer unique visitors.
- Flagella: A website about celebrities in the protozoan world.
- Fleshbot: It's a fucking porn site. Gawker, classy as ever.
- Gawker: Still Denton's nominal flagship, the cool kids have jumped ship and it is now infested with soccer moms.
GizmodoJizzmodo: About the latest gadgets and gizmos, as long as they are made by Apple.- Gridskipper: Travel for people who can't afford it because if they were smart enough to make money they wouldn't be reading a Gawker site.
- io9: Shitty recaps of sci-fi/fantasy TV shows, movie spoilers, transhumanism, science news. Tabloid for people who will never get laid but not even popular enough for you to mention to your nerd friends.
- Idolator: Basically the same dumb pieces of shit who write Pitchfork.
- Jalopnik: For automobile fetishists who ride the bus.
- Lifehacker: hotkeys, useless apps, browser wars, getting your OS to act like a different one, bullshit fringe health advice, projects stolen from Indestructibles.com, reader's opinion of the latest MSPaint clone, sucking Firefox's cock.
- Partyvan: Sightings of girls in the 'tween set, with speculation about their underwear colors. Failed attempt to get pageviews from people who mistook it for Partyvan.info.
- Valleywag: Silicon Valley gossip and news. Most boring thing on Gawker.
- Wonkette: WALNUTS! Warning: Rose to fame by being edited by a modestly non-fugly chick. Now run entirely by an emo fuck. Denton sold the blog to some warmed-over Web 1.0 loser when it became clear he couldn't make any money off of it.
How much money does it make?
As it turns out, The Gawker "empire" is a fucking greenback factory. As leaked by fired editorial director Joel Johnson, on Gawker itself (lolol) (and republished in this Pando post, which took Gawker employees voting to unionize to "shake out":
"Spent"? On what, gay hookers and Adderall popsicles? A hot tub full of Jagermeister? And predictably, Denton used Gawker to respond:
—--Fuck you, Nick | ||
Quality Gawker Articles
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"Joan Rivers was Reportedly Rich as Fuck" -
"The Booty-eating Renaissance" -
"12 Songs you can Eat Butt to" -
"Gordon Ramsay Sex, Dwarf Found Dead in Badger Sett" -
"What ya Mamma Gave ya is Actually Depression"
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"You Should Eat Horse" -
"'Douchebag': The White Racial Slur We've All Been Waiting For" -
"Hating Men Isn't Funny, Say Writer Who Doesn't Get Good Jokes" -
"This Woman had 'Precious', 'Gentle' Sex with a Dolphin and Liked It" -
"Born This Way: Sympathy and Science for Those who Want to Have Sex With Children"
Related Articles
- Kotaku
- Jezebel
- Violentacrez
- The Daily Dot
- BoingBoing
- VICE
- Chris Kluwe - They seriously let this retard write for them
- Corruption
External links
The GamerGate thread on our forum- "Gawker is Toxic to Brands That Partner With Them"
- Partyvan's Gawker Raid
- Shekelshoah /pol/ campaign
- Gawker (flagship) Archive.is version to prevent Gawker from getting shekels
- Article by former Gawker editor Emily Gould, exposing their attention-whoring techniques
- Too chubby to be raped: Tracie "Slut Machine" Egan, Gawker feminist-blogger, hires a male whore to pwn her fat cunt but he declines. Srsly.
- we are hypocrites
- Gawker just can't take a hint that they got owned
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| Featured article July 24, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Jessi Slaughter |
Gawker Media | Succeeded by Blood on the Dance Floor |
| Featured article November 1 and 2, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Halloween |
Gawker Media | Succeeded by Fat Acceptance Movement |
| Featured article June 13 & 14 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Alt-right |
Gawker Media | Succeeded by Pulse Nightclub Massacre |
