Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (a.k.a. Twilight For Boys, No More Heroes minus swearing, sex, and gore) is a horrible comic book, movie, and cartoon about a 12 year old boy who can't get a boner over anything but some girl with stupid hair. It is most famous for being a fake comic book about Canada and vegan faggotry, but also for it's numerous references to stuff white people like. Even though the fans cream themselves every time they watch the movie, it was fortunately a box-office failure.
Characters
Scott Pilgrim: Michael Cera talks like a girl and whines through another entire movie nobody watched. His responsibilities include playing in a band, free loading off his gay room mate, and defeating some girl's ex boyfriends for their pocket change.
Ramona Flowers: Cum dumpster with at least seven jealous ex boyfriends. She went to Toronto from a place you've never even heard of to get a shitty job as a courier. She rides around on roller skates and is too cool to talk to the drunk assholes at parties. It's not really clear what she does in this film, other than serve her hole for filling.
Knives: Mandatory Oriental loli of the film, Knives is a virgin afraid of kissing Scott, because he is obviously a pedophile. Her talents include DDR and looking angry at people.
The Band (Sex Bomb-Omb)
Some guy who doesn't give a shit and Scott's ex girlfriend play in a band, known for ripping off garage rock from the past one hundred years. Scott's annoying ex girlfriend prefers to scorn and shoot herself in the head, while introducing her band at every show by shouting and clicking her drum sticks. The characters in the band are mostly fodder.
Ramona's Seven Ex's
The reason Ramona's so fucked up and also the reason to watch this movie. They punch Scott Pilgrim in the face a lot of times, but ultimately get defeated by his boyish good looks. Like Jews, each burst into coins when they are defeated, but they're Canadian coins so no one really cares.
Matthew Patel: Ramona's first evil-ex boyfriend. He is a curry nigger with raccoon eyes. Whatever, he gets punched and turns into like 20 cents due to Indians being stingier than Jews.
Lucas Lee: Ramona's second evil-ex boyfriend. Gets tricked into becoming an hero.
Todd Ingram: Ramona's third evil-ex boyfriend. A (cheating) vegan who gets Super Saiyan Swagger. Gets shot by the cops and promptly headbutted.
Roxy Richter: Ramona's fourth evil-ex and her only girlfriend. Too bad she's butt-ugly or else she'd be a fan favorite.
Kyle and Ken Katayanagi: Ramona's fifth and sixth evil-exes, respectively. Fight Scott's band and are destroyed by a holographic Yeti.
Gideon Gordon "G-Man" Graves: Ramona's seventh and final evil-ex boyfriend. Scott fights him in a fight completely ripped from "No More Heroes". He dies, the end.
Comic Book
The comic is basically the same as the film, only people actually collect and like them. The author made an entire new book for every seventh of the film though, which means you actually need to buy every edition to see the big picture
Video game
In the tradition of River City, Final Fight, and other side-scrolling beat-'em-ups, French-Canadian butthole-lickers Ubisoft released an 8-bit side-scrolling game based on the comic series and movie. For 10bux, you could play a game that was essentially better than anything else Ubisoft has ever released for 4-5 times that price, while getting to feel like you're playing the comic you just fapped over. Some of the exciting elements to this game included:
- Watching big-headed, big-tittied 8-bit sluts bobbing their racks as you beat the shit out of people/things, or buy from their stores/restaurants.
- Chiptune music made especially for this game. Which, of course, doesn't sound like any other games' Chiptune music(s), being there's only so many random ways you can make 8-bit soundtracks and all.
- Getting to wreck Hipsters, Guidos, and the occasional Scenefag or Punk on the mean streets of Toronto and/or at concerts.
- Going to a movie set and a Halloween party where you fight the same monsters!
- Zombies and Robots, because video games never have those.
- 4-way Multiplayer! Which, considering there is no online multiplayer on this, means you're going to have to somehow find 4 people who don't mind the smell of stale Cheetos and Jenkem in your Basement.
Trolling Scott Pilgrim fans
- Call Ramona a cumdumpster.
- Claim Scott only fought those guys because he's broke.
- Remind fans that despite his taste in music, Scott is a creep, a pedophile and unemployed, just like them.
- List every name dropped from the movie and comic's deliberate pandering to a specific demographic.
- Claim the film was better than the comic, but still overrated.
- Say Michael Cera sucks as an actor as his only role in everything he's in is always a socially awkward autist that somehow gets laid in the end through plot holes and writers running out of ideas.
- Draw parallels between Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and a certain other comic book.
- Tell them Ramona's a shemale and Scott's only dating her 'cause he's secretly gay.
- Go on DeviantArt or Scottpilgrim.ning.com and point out the creators shortcomings.
- Say that you know the series from a certain music video and claim the series ruined a whole generation of women
Gallery
See Also
- Comics
- Hipster
- Indie
- Vegan
- Twilight - 16 year old girl version.
- No More Heroes
- Troll the fuck out of them and the creator himself
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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
