SUPERCOOLWILLOW
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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Ian's YouTube account has been suspended and it appears he has got a new channel: TinySCW
As far as we know, this is his real account. |
SUPERCOOLWILLOW John is one of the internet's rare hidden gems. He appears to be a 22 year old, gap toothed retard residing in Britain, being forced to sing songs found in popular culture at gunpoint, possibly by his pimp. Ian is notable for being an enigma wrapped in a pickle wrapped in another enigma, sandwiched between two more riddles, and stuffed into a mystery, and finally wrapped up again in a big box of HURR.
Some argue that SUPERCOOLWILLOW is actually a test to get into heaven. You have to watch all of his videos without so much as a smirk on your face to succeed. No one has succeeded yet.
Prepare for the laughs, although when you do laugh you feel like a sick fuck. But don't be too hard on yourself, because c'mon, even God's laughing about it.
You're Going To Hell If You Laugh
Previous Video | Next Video
Testimonials
You can't get a more dedicated fanbase than the one this slack-jawed faggot has acquired over the past few days or so. ED will either make or break his 'career', although all signs point towards breaking it. Expect an hero section within the coming days.
"Wow.. uve had ur hair cut.. ur awesome!" - Ines1418
"LOL wut?...You Phail at RL" - Deatharmor
"Is Darwin sure natural selection is right?" - hullium69
"Helen Keller is rolling in her grave." - aplurfulsociety
"this is how you remind me... of why we should keep abortion legal" - nbradshaw2
"i think Ian is a pretty cool guy he doesn't need so many chromosomes and doesn´t afraid of anything" - TheKoosalagoopagoop
"Are you seriously mentally handicapped or are you just faking it? i honestly cant tell so please tell me" - peanutbutterman21
"im going to smash this fucking fagget retard..." - whatitdo3211
"I made it through 20 seconds of the first video without laughing!" - Nam Macs
"no, ofcourse youre not weird, you just have a high pitched voice, an abnormal face (that looks exactly like a retard(EYES), youve got a hard time speaking, and your dancing is worse than a 4 year olds dancing, please, for your own sake, please note that 99% of the internet users are making fun of you (yes including me) so i hope that when you ever apply for a job, the company recruiter hasnt seen any of your movies yet
now have fun marrying nathaliepicard
post a movie on your baby plz, 4thelulz" - xzhate
"Chromosome...Chromosome...where for art thou Chromosome" - Westben2002
"Is this for real? I'm going to with-hold all comments until I get to the bottom of this..." - BaronVonWatermelon
"Fap." - Shocksock
"I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK!" - Cockmongler
"Downs Syndrome? INTELLECTUALLY CHECKMATED!" - Goronchev
"There's only so many times you can use a sympathy vote, Ian you've used it 11 times. Epic amounts of fail detected." - craiky33
"Guys it's time to stop encouraging him then snickering behind your backs. YouTube has enough of this shit.
-pukes a little-" - Feuyaer
"Is it wrong that I have a boner?" - MyFantazmagazzle
"are you retarded? no seriously? are you?" - PointBlankw00t
"alot better than me, that's for sure :)" - baisehode
"hhahahahahahahahahahahaha" - Nolimittt
"id tap that" - DasystemaBUSER11
"NIGGER" - craigowens
"sarcasm aside, the look on your face during the solo was priceless.
were you trying to shit a hedgehog or something?" - PhilJamesTaylor
"he's very...ugly" - RoObiina
"hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha LAUGHING AT THE DOWNIES NEVER GETS BORING" - harmertrials
"I'm sorry, but this is painful to watch. Honestly, I have nothing against people with down-syndrome, but who decided to let this kid sing and post it on the internet." - vinegarbar
"D-o-w-n-i-e-S are wicked..." - s146361
"About as fun as the faggoty fratboys doing livin on a prayer karaoke while you're trying to enjoy a beer..." - stevenshrugged
"Go fucking kill yourself you retarded piece of shit. Seriously, I've heard cows sing better. Why isn't Hitler alive to send you in a concentration camp where you belong. Served." - mithrillllll
"His birth certificate has to be an apology from Durex." - Conway
"Someone get this kid a record deal!
Or another chromosome." - SenorCero
"your disturbed dude, you fuckin dick holed bastered thats shitty disgustin shit you wankstain fuckin ian basterin spazzy fuckin chinky eyed nigga, stop with this shit, i hope you do no that ppl would shoot you if they had the chance you fuckin aids filled melaria asshole face. " - nj484848
"Hay guise, I found the newest member for linkin park!" - Dei3and8
"This guy is down with the syndrome." - Twatters
"I think he is just wonderful. Can't we all just get along? Oh, and that lazy eye gets my dick hard." - anonymous /b/tard
"Just by looking at your face, I can tell that you are actually mentally handicapped. That must really suck." - Justinfh2Point0
"Come on, you dumbasses, get real. The only reason you idiots are trying to be nice is because he has Down Syndrome." - orly444
"Hey Ian, Just ignore the mean comments. Autistic Retardation is serious fuckin business and they shouldn't laugh at you." - asstreme2
He lives in the attic just a coincidence?
dad: "keep him in the roof then no one will know"
mam: " No we carnt! hes our son"
dad: " No listen will give him a computer, web cam the internet and he can record videos all day on YOUTUBE!"
mam: " Ill get the padlock!!!"
- bongolwater
"this video needs moar chromosomes." - SPARTA123
"http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/SUPERCOOLWILLOW. That's all I have to say on the subject of TIMMY!!!" - Rainbowaffles
"PLEASE do the world a favour and die!" - binmanbruce
As Ian spends the vast majority of his day on YouTube deleting any comment that is even remotely negative towards him, you may want to check out the comments on his Lonely video, as above, on his friend's account. I think that it's safe to say that only these un-censored responses reflect the true feelings that the general public have for the talent that is Ian.
The Ian Philosophy
Ian is regularly bombarded with abuse when people comment his amazing vocal abilities and musical prowess, but those who love his videos are quick to step in, defend his honor and pwn all with the 'Ian Philosophy'. It basically consists of the following:
1.) Ian is a horrible singer who butchers songs found in popular culture.
2.) But he has the balls to actually post videos of himself attempting to sing these songs on YouTube.
3.) You don't have any videos of your fat ass attempting to sing The Darkness.
4.) Therefore he's actually an amazing singer, since he has the balls and you don't.
5.) ????
6.) PROFIT!
A Challenger Appears
Although YouTube isn't known for vloggers with the even remotest element of shame, 2008 looks like YouTube will hit an all time low by inflicting us with moar talentless fucks.
Here we have Natalie Sicard (aka GOOGLEMAPPER), who is a illegal immigrant and is Ian's girlfriend, all together now...ahhhhhh! The fact that they've never met doesn't seem to get in the way of this gruesome twosome & they seem well suited, perhaps even sharing the same strait-jacket? She also like to put Pro Singer in her singing videos
Other Hits From Ms Sicard
- When you're gone (notice "Pro Singer") (baleeted)
- Numb (Is what your ears will be) (baleeted)
- Apologize (Well it would be a start)(baleeted)
- Another Day in Paradise (But another song from Hell)(baleeted)
- Lips of an Angel (Voice of a strangled cat)(lol Delete fucking everything)
Response
—SUPERCOOLWILLOW | ||
—nathaliesicard | ||
Possibly The Worst Sound Ever
As the spirit of April Fools Day hit Youtube, SUPERCOOLWILLOW and NathalieSicard attempted to increase the lulz with their cover of Apologize. The US government countered by classifying it a WMD.
Gallery
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Wut's goin' on!? -
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It's Over 9000 -
Childhood Photo -
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IANS DAD -
Seizures by the many. -
An artists impression -
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Keepin' The Faith
See Also
External Links
| Featured article March 19, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by My Little Pony Arena |
SUPERCOOLWILLOW | Succeeded by The Great Livejournal Content Strike of 2008 |
