Israel

The current flag of Israel (created shortly after bombings on Gaza Strip).

Welcome to Israel!

Awesome UN "Finail Solution":
Beige = Stolen land. Note: Irony

Israel's secret weapon

Israel (Hebrew: פלסטין Arabic; other names include: the Holy Land, God's Blood and "fuck you I was here first"-land) - like Hollywood - is a nest of militarized Jews in the middle of Arabia. It was founded after WW2 by butthurt kikes who believed that they had a religious right to the Promised Land and the United Nations who needed to find somewhere to put the most hated people on Earth. The new state was then attacked dozens of times by the Arabs. Each time, Israel not only drove them back, but expanded its land.

When Israel comes under criticism for atrocities against Palestians, they are quick to invoke the atrocities of Hitler as protection. Yes, Israelis are so fucked up they bow to Hitler for protection while they kill Palestian children.

Israeli sharpshooters always aim for the arms when putting down intifada riots. Due to the fact that Slurpee machines require two hands to operate properly, no 7-11 stores exist in all of Israel. Their loss.

However, enterprising Jewish businessmen funded the production of machines capable of turning Palestinian babies into Slurpees. This is in full accordance to international law, as Palestinians do not share the same rights as humans. The Jew kikes of Israel control 75% of the worlds money, not for investing purposes though, they just like the smell of it. Vast quantities of money is also needed to buy the gold they wear around their neck known as Jew gold.

Teh Jews also have to chop off teh cocks. Therefore causing 65% of kikes to die alone. This increases their love for Jew gold and raping teh Terrorists with their bulldozers.

Current Events

Israeli showing how secular he is by touching a DOG, an animal which is seen as unclean by all sand people both Jews and Muslims alike. The pot is calling the kettle black.

• Recently, Israel has been trying to provide Jewenstine, the mascot and god of the Heebs, with some more Lebensraum in the Lebanon. Much pwnage has occurred.

• Last Thursday, Israel waged war on Lebanon's international airport, causing major delays.

• For at least 100 years, organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah have been blowing themselves up because they are attention whores.

• Jews did Beirut as performance art to protest Holocaust denial -and for the lulz- after they fell hard for the classic Hezbollah troll of kidnapping IDF soldier boys.

Latuff whacking off after the Lebanese massacre.

• Israel is performing buttsex with the Hamas Rulers.

• They're gonna attack Iran and start WW3. This time the lollercaust will be Nuclear.

History

When the Allies advanced towards Berlin in the late 1944, they discovered the horrifying truth of Hitler's pet project in the German extermination camps. Millions of Jews, suffering from diseases, barely walking from hunger and malnutrition, humiliated beyond human by their torturers, but - and here comes the horrifying part - still alive, poured out of gates of Auschwitz, Birkenau and other places. Something needed to be done about it because they didn't want those heebs ending up in America somehow.

Fortunately, the Nazis had some allies that were still not defeated, and too retarded to pose any military threat to the civilized world - the Sand Niggers. So most of the Jews were sent to Palestine, and the Western World hoped that four hundred million Arabs would quickly push four hundred thousand Jews for Jesus into the sea once the Poms left the area.

Unfortunately, the stupidity of the Arabs was severely underestimated, resulting in epic fail, like in 1967 when Syria, Jordan and Egypt attacked Israel simultaneously and were defeated in six days. This led to establishment of a Jew state for the first time in at least 100 years. Thus, in solving the Jew problem, we are basically back to square one.

Mossad security pimps prep some pretty-mouthed Palestinian boys for a traditional Hanukkah spit-roasting.

The premature decision to invade Germany, and subsequent underestimation of how retarded Arabs were, made Roosevelt die from guilt, and ruined Churchill's career after the war. Stalin managed to avoid the blame until after his death. Some argue that the Cold War was a direct result of Western Allies and the Soviet Union blaming each other for not fully actualizing the Final Solution. This strife naturally fueled the rebirth of the Jew economic conspiracy.

Military policy

Although killing sandnigger Shitlamists is always funny, Israel sort of ruined all of the lulz due to Semitic faggotry and unlimited access to sum hutt Muslim-genocide action. If a toothless Arab peasant-ass from nowhere fires over 9,000 fireworks on some shitty Jew colony in the possession of crippled jam-producers the Israel military is immediately obliged to smash-fuck the shit out of every terrorist boy-lover on Gaza with 1337 tank rockets 4nd 35g4 1n1=4n7ryx. This of course is not even remotely fair since all their precious jewgolds come from the Americunt government, which in turn only gets nigger-riots and a reliable ally, that at the slightest sign of danger will eat their own children along with everyone they swore allegiance to.

Unlike Zionist conspirators in Europe, U.S.A., everywhere - the Israelis are obliged to show extreme force at any given chance as mentioned above. Whether this is because ghettos used to oppress rat-folk are their natural habitat or that they are just so comfortable with the whole world behind their back is a matter of debate. What is known however is that this lulzy fagnocide will go on forever or until the Arab species are extinct along with the state of Israel and everyone will go home and have a good hearty laugh about it. If nukular lolocaust fails however see Catnarok.

Israel and flame wars

If you get involved in a flame war relating to the Israeli-Palestine conflict and want some Zionists on your side, consider inviting the following people:

• World War III
• Doc neuro
• Quasidan
• Alfred Perlstein
• Hitler
• Jesus
• Jewkemia

Gallery

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  I love the smell of burning Habbibi in the morning; smells like...AUSCHWITZ!
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  Former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon generated criticism for eating the Wailing Wall.
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  So TRUE! Israeli Jews 1; Palestinians:0
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  There`s no way the Jews were behind 911! No way MAN!
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  The Jewish problem was discovered in 1942 but ignored until recently.
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  Spielberg knew what a cancer his people are but decided to blame sharks instead.
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  Rabbi bribed by Arab oil money. Jews hold money above nationalism.
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  Yep, please remember this picture every time you support the American Army!
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  PROFIT?
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  History repeats itself...
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  Always...
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  Typical Israeli soldier