Spain
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THE SPIC GOVERNMENT IS ABOUT TO BAN MEMES! |
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WARNING:
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Spain, a.k.a. Dagoland, Mexico. or more obviously Europe's backyard, is a heathen country located between Morocco and France. Naturally, it has the shortcomings of both and the virtues of neither. Spain has a rich history of raping and pillaging other countries in lieu of nurturing its own populace. Under the rule of a German emperor, it once owned half the world and is responsible for unleashing the plagues known as Filipinos and Mexicans upon humanity. They are best known for their uncanny ability to stick their cock in anyone or anything, no matter how repulsive (Aztecs, Gooks, Niggers, kangaroos and assorted other colored peoples in particular). Ironically, Spain's relative poverty has resulted in its only positive attribute, as an enormous number of seeders for torrents and eMule users are of Spanish origin, Olé!.
In Spain, same-sex marriage is compulsory and the age of consent is 13.
History
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"Espain", as progressive and Internets-savvy Spaniards prefer to call it, was pwnd by the Romans for a tedious epoch, then briefly raped by various Teutonic gangs, then kept as a cumdumpster by the Moors for another six centuries before finding the Jesus and sweeping the Kingdom free of Jews during an era of great justice known as the Spanish Inquisition. This simple act of good sense transformed Spain from a backwater shitbox into the superpower of the 1500s, leaving the nation Judenfrei and able to focus on other things, like pwning Caribbean tribes and looting their shit.
Christopher Columbus was Spanish (a Jew in disguise) and in 1492 helped to discover America, which is lulzy now that the descendants of Spanish colonists are being pushed out of the U.S. all the time or called Mexicans, which seriously pisses them off. Many of these so-called "light-skinned" or "mixed race Indigenous people of South or Central America" nurture socially unacceptable feelings regarding Spain's colonial past, believing that the Spaniards destroyed their cultural heritage. What they do not understand is that they are the descendants of those sexually uninhibited ex-cons, not the ones currently living in that backwater peninsula; though both groups retain the cock-savvy talents of their mutual ancestors.
In 1496, just after Columbus had (re-)discovered American, Spain's royal family began a game of incest that lasted for two centuries and produced some of the fugliest retards ever to wear a crown.
Later, Spain was humiliated by the loss of its great Armada to England (it was actually just windy weather and the Danish). It was then pwned by Theodore Roosevelt and the Rough Riders, who conquered all of Cuba and Puerto Rico, and even acquired the Philippines as an added (albeit unwanted) bonus.
In the turmoil that followed, Espáin was flooded by anarchists, commies, punks, hippies, drug addicts and niggers. As these disparate groups of subhumans were unable to agree on anything - especially how to rule a country - a group of generals planned a coup d'état against the ruling Popular Front government to pwn the faggots. A young and promising general named Francisco Franco had made a name for himself by killing Arabs in Morocco (then an Espánis colony). Looking north and east, Franco thought that the Nazis looked sexy in their SS uniforms and Mussolini seemed a pretty cool guy. In fact, the future dictator had photographs of both Fascist leaders on his desk, to which he surely fapped his microdick.
A civil war ensued that lasted three years, because ammunition had to be transported on donkeys. The most difficult objective for Franco during the war was that of buttraping the Catalans (a.k.a. the surviving Jews of Espáin) because they'd been amassing armies by paying commie Americunts. Ultimately, the commies backstabbed the anarchists, who were too busy smoking weed and dealing meth to fight a proper war. Then almighty Franco crossed the Ebro river and captured the flag.
Franco styled himself Generalissimo, to boost his self-esteem and draw attention away from his height of five feet nothing. In WW2, Hitler encouraged him to join the Axis and rape the Brits in Gibraltar. Despite the Führer's offering of the Iron Cross and the opportunity to pwn British ass, Franco's political sense prevailed, and he declined. He knew that the Soviets and Americunts were going to be eating Aryan BBQ soon. After the war, he asked Eisenhower to join him in a gay orgy. From this, the U.S. obtained the right to set up some bases on Espánis soil and accidentally dump nuclear armament into the sea.
The Spanish government has been getting trolled by the ETA, a Basque separatist terrorist group, since last Thursday. Lacking their own country, the Basque people have experienced extreme butthurt and have thus decided to kill as many Spanish officials as possible for the lulz. This is typically done with explosives, and/or fire. Because the ETA took Computer Science III, the Spanish government was forced to deploy the Civil Guard to the Basque country in order to prevent any attacks. As is evident by the fisting that the Spanish government has received at the hands of the ETA, this wasn't an effective strategy. Finally the ETA got tired of murdering and last Thursday gave up arms in favour of drug fueled bestiality orgies.
Dago Life
Spanish people have lived in poverty as a penance for God ridding them of their Muslim and Jew problem, though He has frowned upon their recent sin by not only allowing said subhumans to gradually return, but also the various monstrosities they produced overseas.
Born sadists, Spaniards are known for stealing the possessions of drunk tourists in bars, especially phones, leather jackets and other animal-skin products. They are also renowned for sex, which they have regularly with everything, sometimes in heterosexual relationships and occasionally between consenting adults. About 90% are hairy furries and admire pedobear as a spiritual hero; the rest are circus midgets. The average Spanish person has the IQ of a chair and smells just as much like ass.
With all the poverty Spain is experiencing one would think they would be able to establish some homegrown organized crime, but instead most of the poor, underfed, dehydrated Spaniards spend their living days being scared shitless of a bunch of drug dealers, pimps, foreign gangsters and social terrorists known as the inevitable Spics, Berbers (who are basically the Spics of Africa), Dominicans (who are the nigger-version of Spics, though they laughably insist they're white), Georgians (the Spics of the long gone Soviet Union...even though 80% of the inhabitants of the ex-Soviet Union could be qualified as Spics), Sicilians/Southern Italians (the Spics of Italy) and English that emerged from the crime- and feces-ridden shitholes they call East End London, Liverpool and Manchester (who could also be qualified as Spics in their home country, if you ignore the Welsh...which everyone does).
The annual Running of the Bulls is held every July in Pamplona, in which angry bovines are released into the streets where people get gored and trampled for the lulz. Behold- cunts got served.
Notable Dagos
- Charlie Sheen
- Enrique Iglesias
- Hernan Cortes
- Inigo Montoya
- José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero
- Kane
- Pablo Picasso
- Salvador Dali
- Torquemada
- Trajan
How the Dago Took Over the "New" World Summarized
Autonomous communities
Spain has also states called "Autonomous Communities".
Here is a list of all autonomous communities in the iberian countriy
Madrid's community
The community of Madrid, also called Madrid simply, is a community full of towns with rednecks, zoomers and neo-Nazis. In some towns, for not saying ALL, they have a fucking bullring and celebrate fests that last approximately 2 days to 2 weeks. Apart from that, Madrid residents also dress as old people to dance "El Chotis" every May 15th. Other people do activities that are just as useful and healthy as going to touch the grass. Every winter, they go hunting down with a shotgun. Then in spring, they go to catch asparagus from the streams and rivers full of beer cans and dirty thongs. In summer, they go hunting for crayfish (which are an alternative to lobsters) with traps that are very cheap. Madrid also, is the capital of soccer beacause of the Real Madrid FC, that every year wins a trophy.Madrid is also known for having a lot of sand niggers, Colombians and dominicunts. There is nothing else to highlight about Madrid (except for the disgusting Latin gangs that always go around with machetes and .22 pistols and the childish zoomers who are only dedicated to insulting at random and wearing a weird haircut).
Castile & León
A very abandoned community full of castles. Also, they are the main reason why Spain exists and has Castilian Spanish as its official language. Also, in Segovia the girls are very physically attractive, but be careful, there are some bastard zoomers out there. In Salamanca, the only good thing is for having a fucking lake in the shape of a stomach and that's it. Oh, wait there's more, Burgos is known for having a Gothic cathedral WHICH IS NOT EVEN GOTHIC but hey, it is what it is. And the rest of the provinces only stand out for having chorizos.
Castilla la Mancha
If you live with rednecks and you're a dago, you're probably from here (or not). This community is the same as its sister, except that instead of castles it has windmills that the Dutch copied in a different style so that we would not invade them a second time. It is the America of Spain, due to its countless number of weapons per person. The strange thing is that there are never mass murders there. The rednecks (also known as Gañanes), dedicate themselves to farming, buying land, looking for a girlfriend (something difficult for their level) and doing the same fun activities as the people of Madrid (except for May 15, keep that in mind). Also, the dagos were copied Americans to make a fucking replica of the Colorado canyon called (Barrancas del Burujón), which is like the mileurist replica of the Colorado canyon.
Extremadura
This community stands out for having a penis less than 13.5 cm (5.3 inches for American people). Also, they have a huge number of elderly people (depending on the population) since women do not reproduce with the rural peasant farmers. Also, they have the smallest border bridge in the world in an abandoned village that connects with a Portuguese store. Extremadurans, as they are very believers in the spiritual and religious, invent tremendous horror stories taken from Stephen King, (THEY DO NOT COPY FROM HIM). It is said that in a redneck town there, ants (probably termites) ate the houses and that is why the houses disappeared. Also, they stand out for their redneck humor quite taken from their La Mancha neighbors, they are like their lost brother. Also, the people of Extremadura have a nuclear power plant, which is not like Chernobyl. They have the record for the most wind farms in Europe and the largest tobacco producer in the Iberian country. Extremadura has its own language called "Extremeñu", which is a redneck version of Spanish and the redneck accent of La Mancha.
Andalusia
Its name comes from Arab origin "Al-Andalus", which means: "Landless". It stands out for being Spanish Romania due to its danger, poverty and culture. Also, shootings are very common that in cities like Malaga or Seville, become a battlefield. The beaches of Andalusia are of the most beautiful in the country that the price for renting an apartment for 1 week costs a fucking kidney. Also, it is a place where soccer is like life. Andalucia is the center of being very hard-working and it is said that after work, they go to take a nap at 6:00 PM or 4:00 PM. Also, lisping is common in the south and hissing in the north. Andalusians tend to endure earthquakes every 1 or 2 years, that living in Malaga would be like living in the north-central part of Chile. Also, Almeria has a boring national park that no one gives a shit about called "Cabo de Gata". Andalusian people's skin color is sand nigger, which means that Moroccans raped his girls and maked hibrids.
Ceuta and Melilla
Another part of Spain, which is not even a community, but a city. Melilla and Ceuta have border fences with Morocco so that the sand niggers do not come in to cause terrorism and plant bombs there. In Melilla, only the earthquakes stand out and in Ceuta nothing.
Galicia
Galicia, like Extremadura, has his own idiom called Galego. Also, Galicians stand out for having political figures with mental retardation and for having a fucking million seafood dishes. Also, Galicia is the Colombia of Spain, because the largest production of cocaine in the country comes from there. But the strange thing is that Latin bands like DDP or TNT are not common. In adition, Galicians are also rednecks like the rest of the country. The rednecks stand out for being like fucking goats and for eating river's vampires called Lampreys.Galicia stands out for its daily showers.
Asturias
Asturias is the center of the blondness of Spain. Also, the women there have huge breasts (thats why asturian milk is famous). Also, they are very religious and not like the south of Spain, they are very cultured and grateful, not like the Dagonecks, (but they are also grateful). Also, Asturias does not stand out in anything else (except for Asturian cheese, which is famous for the reason that I have already told).
Cantabria
In Cantabria, politicians are not like Biden who are confined all day in their house, they, like Miguel Angel Revilla, go out to the streets to live life and touch grass. They also go to bars and are welcomed like normal people. Cantabria, also, is known for its cupcake sponges called "Sobaos Pasiegos" which is a rectangular version of a cupcake.
Baske Country
The Basque country, between 1970 and 2010, was the center of terrorism in Spain, and not because of the Moors, but because of a terrorist group called ETA, which was the Spanish IRA. Also, it stands out for having a fat fuck streamer named Ibai Llanos. Also, they stand out for having museums like the Guggenheim. Also the baskets are known for having a strange idiom called Vasque, which is a mix betwen Beatbox idiom, northern russkie idiom with latin alphabet.
Also known as Foral Community of Navarra, is the center of bullfighting in Spain. They have fests every July 6 to July 14. Also, it is known for... Nothing else, it only stands out for bullfighting and for having Baske idiom.
Aragon
The Aragonese also have their festivals. Every October 14, thousands of people go to a place to see the Virgen del Pilar. Aragonese teenagers go to Zaragoza every October 14 go to simp to the Virgen del Pilar, because she is a virgin and an adult. Aragon, also stood out in football a couple of decades ago but the spark went off every single minute. In the north, the Aragonese from Teruel created their own language, Aragones, which is a mix between Catalan and Spanish.
Catalonia
Catalonia, also known as Shitland, is known for wanting its independence through a referendum (vote). The traditions there are to have a mystical doll called Cagació, which is a fucking log with Jimmy Jump's hat and Caganet, which is a porcelain doll that is dedicated to shitting, yes shitting, whoever invented the tradition was a coprophagic. It is also the land of the country's highest highscorer, (Jose Marimón Carles). Also, the Catalans have their own language, which is a horrible mix between Spanish and French with a touch of bitterness of life. Also, it is the home of many YouTubers who went to Andorra.
Balearic Islands
Known for not using Catalan, this shitty archipelago has the wonder of having tons of British and Aryan tourists. The island of Ibiza is also known for its countless nightclubs and DJs. Menorca is notable for being the United Kingdom of Spain, since there are more Britfags than Spaniards.
Valencian Community
Also known as GTA Spain edition, it is a community full of Britfags. Also, its beaches are also as beautiful as its women (only that many people go to the beaches, something that no one goes to women). Valencia also has its own archipelago called the Columbretes Islands, all of which are so deformed that the big island looks like a bull's piercing. Valencia is also known for its countless tourists from all over the world. The Valencians also have their language, Valenciá, which is like Catalan, Spanish and with the bitterness of Catalan. Also, Valencians have their festivals in a dwarf town called La Vall d'Uixó, which is like a dwarf version of Pamplona. To the south of Valencia city, a 3 meter deep pond called "L'Albufera" is known.
Murcia Region
Also called Fukushima, Murcia is home to Spain's deadliest earthquake in the 21st century (so far). With only 5.1 to 1 kilometer deep, the Lorca 2011 earthquake left a total of 9 dead and 300 injured, as if it were a bomb attack. It happened in 11th may 2011 basicly 13 years ago. It is also known for having a lagoon called Mar Menor, which stands out for its countless dead fish and for its piles of mountains of garbage on its shores, which looks like something out of a Greenpeace propaganda. Otherwise, Murcia is a boring place.
Canary Islands
The Canary Islands are the reason why Spain still has colonies. They stand out for being in Africa and for their countless numbers of Moors and blacks. Like the rest of Spain, they have their own language, which is only spoken on an island known as the Canarian whistle. Also, it was known at the beginning of the 21st century for its countless numbers of ships stranded on its coasts. Also, from here, Spanish vtubers and critical youtubers were born here. The Spanish call these islands the Spanish Hawaii. Many Americans who have never attended geography class think that this beautiful archipelago is Hawaii, which is not true. Also, living next to a volcano there is common, and eating hot pepper sauce is also common.The strangest thing about the Canary Islands is that girls between 16 and 20 years old get pregnant, which is why when Canarian men hear condom, they begin to feel afraid (probably because they have seen the movie about the killer condom).
Gilbraltar
We stole it, you western wops, get fucking PWNED you retards. mindfully Britfags
La Rioja
This is the most forgotten autonomous community. Even the person who created this little section forgot what the fuck this place is. Also, they are northern hicks. The only thing why this place exits is for its exquisite wines, which for them are life and the Anguiano festivals, where the greatest faggots in the town dress up as women with a gigantic skirt to dance ballet. The rest of La Rioja is just poorly built cabins, rednecks and pastors with a gigantic wine cellar and moar boring fests that nobody goes.
Trolling Dagos
- When encountering a Spaniard, say that you thought he was a Maghrebinian.
- Inform them that Portugal has a better ED article.
- Say them that they are Arabs and Berbers and not white.
- Ask them to perform a flamenco dance for you or teach you how to make paella.
- Ask them where all the mariachi street bands are.
- Ask them about their
5925 percent unemployment rate. - Remind them that they are a country filled with "mama's boys" who don't live on their own until they're 30.
- Remind them of how a significant number of Jews converted to Catholicism rather than be expelled by the Inquisition and that they surely must have Jewish blood.
- Remind them how the Iberian Peninsula's IQ dropped 30 points when they pushed the sand niggers and collateral Jews out.
- Remind them that they are psychotic barbarians who torture and kill animals for sheer entertainment.
- Say the Spanish Inquisición (very important in their culture) seems strangely Islamic.
Say Spanish females pretends that his voice seeking seem like the American wimminz, and that leaves them as cheap prostitutes.EN INGLES, CULERO.- Tell them the Spanish language is originally from Mexico.
- When asked about Spain, say: "Oh yes, it's near Mexico, isn't it?"
- Refer to all Spaniards as Spics.
Remembers the Portugueses are not ugly, shorts, fats, hairy or niggers like themDisregard that...- The moment they tell you Spain is in Europe, say, "Ah, you mean the one near Africa?"
- When discussing the big territories of defunct Spanish Empire, remind them how shitty their country is now.
- Tell them that
SpainAl-Andalus is once again under Muslim rule. - Tell them that Islam is the largest religion in Spain.
- Explain to them how you watched a documentary about starving people in Spain on the National Geographic Channel.
- Constantly mention how much better France is compared to Spain.
- Discuss their defeat by Switzerland in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.
- Constantly ask where is Spain.
- Remind them how they once lost a soccer game to the Americans, despite being the number-one ranked team in the world.
- Explain to them that the Basque were there first and are the only true Spaniards.
- If the target happens to be Basque, inform them that the Basque are essentially terrorist Spanish abos and should be treated as such.
- Laughingly remind them that even though they expelled the Arabs 500 years ago, their country is packed full of them nowadays.
- Remember them kindly about Gibraltar (UK naval base in Andalusia used for sexxxy Royal Navy buttsecks) and their naval pwnage at the hands of the Brits.
- Tell them that the British Navy has ALWAYS been way better than Spain's...
- ...and that the British Empire was larger...
- ...and remind them that Spain got their ass handed to them by Elizabeth I.
- In Valencia, speak Catalan; in Catalonia, speak Castillian; everywhere else, speak English.
- Refers to any Spanish city as "shanty town".
- Speak Spanish in Basque Country and ask why it isn't their first language.
- Tell Spaniards they should all just speak one fucking language (Catalan).
- If the target is a Catalan, tell them Catalan is just a dialect of Spanish and not a real language.
- Remind them that their language is a gutter knockoff of Esperanto.
- Inquire about bullfighters, saying "toreador" instead of "torero."
- Inform them of how retarded Spain looks for celebrating the Running of the Bulls.
- Loudly state that you agree with the bullfighting ban in Catalonia and/or declare yourself an animal rights fag.
- Remind Spaniards of these military facts: their infantry was copied from those of the Germans and Italians; their tanks (Leopards) and infantry rifles are German; their combat aircraft and advanced weapons systems are American. (Only works if you're not Irish, btw.)
- Mention how they were pwned by Al-Qaeda in Madrid for supporting Bush's faggotry wars.
- Tell them that Franco admired Hitler, who despised hairy, inferior, unwhite, southern Europeans.
- Smile while reminiscing about how Franco swept hippies, niggers, anarchists, commies, drug addicts, atheists, gypsies, Basques, fags and other social refuse away and gave them proper jobs...by building his own grave memorial (Valle de los Caidos).
- Draw comparisons between regional tensions in Spain and those which led to the dissolution of former Yugoslavia.
- When they say that Moroccans are Spain's niggers, reply by saying it's because Spain is the crackhouse of Europe.
- Remember them they are almost the only country in the world where (those who are lucky) work until 20:00 thanks to the goddamn siesta (break from 14:00 to 16-17:00)
- Say that you like King Juan Carlos I. and that he was the best King of Spain.
- Tell the kids that Jelly Jamm was never a good show and tell them to grow up with Dora the fucking explorer.
Dago Pride, y, Olé!
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Idem -
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Cheek kissing between men in Spain is the most common greeting -
The "glorious" Quixote, who do not know more than Educación Técnica's schools' niggas in Mexico -
The much respected Queen of Spain. Even the locals of Mexico say that she had sex with all easily when he lived barely there. Notice how the guy of back see her ass -
Until "Aryan" Hitler sees his subordinate apprentice Dago with despisableness -
Despite having modern armaments, the superb Spanish Empire had to rely on help from natives might seize Tenochtitlan -
Even the Japanese realizes... -
As of 2010 -
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Now let's not get horny, bub. -
When making an official visit to the U.S., it's always a good idea to let your unsightly daughters express their goth side while posing for a picture with Obama, so that you can regret your decision and ban said picture. -
ETA members reading a Computer Science III textbook to plan out their next assault. -
Noble "Basques" -
A typical Spanish day. -
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STFU MARXIST -
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Doing it wrong. -
Spanish winnar -
Spanish are not white but Arab. -
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If it were not for this man, Spain had already they had been doomed for years... He's an Argie soccer player
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See also
- Spics
- Sandniggers
- Poverty
- Political corruption
- Africa
- Pain
- Muslims
- Mexico
- Inciclopedia
- Joan Cornellá
- Shit no one cares about
- Argentina
- Portugal
- The Spanish Inquisition
- Zapatero
- Rajoy
- Colombia
