Happy Wheels

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At the menu screen, you are greeted by a greedy Fem-Jew
Final boss of Happy wheels

Happy Wheels is a singleplayer racing game made in flash, created by Jim Bonacci. Notable for it's unique gameplay, superb gibbing system, and and ability to create humorous situations. It's yet another instance of an obscure game instantly becoming popular upon being mentioned by someone who is moderately well-known, in this case Adam Kovic, or even worse, UberHaxorNova. It is decent as a timewaster, but not deserving of the 50 page threads it has spawned in a number of gaming forums. 99.9% of the user generated content is people opening the map editor and raping the keyboard, with the final end result being a mass of random blue blocks and cool things.

The Game

The goal of Happy Wheels is simple: get to the finish alive. You are permitted to lose any nonessential body parts and even your vehicle, as long as you are not killed in the process. A wide variety of deadly obstacles can be found along the way, from everyday deathtraps like spike pits or landmines, to more unconventional things like a giant shotgun or satan's mouth. Most people ignore the goal and simply try to get their character killed in funny ways. The controls are fairly standard, with the exception of the ability to let go of the vehicle and subsequently flail around on the floor like a paraplegic child fallen out of it's Wheelchair. If you join and log in to the website, you can save replays of your runs for other people to see and rate. The most popular maps in Happy Wheels typically involve falling off ledges, running away from a large moving object, or sitting inside a special vehicle designed to travel down a pre-set path while getting bombarded by wrecking balls.

Level Editor

The level editor will cause brain tumors in anyone familiar with usability. It primarily uses geometric shapes for construction. These shapes can act as a foundation, physics objects, part of a series of moving shapes, or a combination of the aforementioned things. Shapes can be connected by joints, which can either move freely or rotate automatically. Most of the other things are what you'd expect to find in a racing game, boosters, finish lines, spikes, etc. Most map-makers for Happy Wheels are autistic basement dwellers with the attention span of a goldfish, so expect most of the user-submitted levels to be extremely boring and predictable with text plastered all over the level saying "PLZ RATE 5" and sometimes going as far to give out their Facebook and Twitter accounts because they think they have 'fans'.

Commentaries

With the creation of Happy Wheels, came the onslaught of unfunny commentaries, with this list only naming a few. The most popular being UberHaxorNova whose voice sounds like there's a penis shoved in his nose and throat. After 6 months of this, he managed to voice Pogostick Man after talking with Jim Bonacci. Once UberHaxorNova's Happy Wheels videos became popular, Dane Boe who was the retard that created The Annoying Orange, jumped on the bandwagon and started his own Happy Wheels commentary on his gaming channel with his inbred brother which is full of many other humorous, original commentaries. Then on February 2012, a Swedish gentleman who goes by the name 'PewDiePie' whom has an unnatural obsession with 'Bros' started his own Happy Wheels commentary, the only difference to the others being that he pretends to be the Father and the Little Boy whilst he is playing the game. Then some time later, some other nobodies caught on and became PewDiePie knockoffs with their own unfunny talents.

Dangerous levels of unfunniness are emitting from this video.

Dane Boe, who is too much of a fucking idiot to find the full game.

It's like UberHaxorNova, but in a Swedish accent!

Characters

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO
This is as boring as it gets.

Happy Wheels currently has 9 playable characters (11 if you count the son and girlfriend). Each one rides a different kind of vehicle and has up to two riders. There is some variation in how they control, but they are all easy to figure out. Details on each character are listed below.

  • Wheelchair Guy - An old homeless man in a jet-boosted wheelchair. You can adjust the direction of the jets by holding the shift key, but it only moves in the clockwise direction, so you're forced to wait until the jet eventually spins around to the direction you want it.
  • Segway Guy - A suited man on a segway. There is little else that can be said about him, he has no gimmick to speak of. In spite of this, Segway Guy is played quite frequently.
  • Irresponsible Dad - A guy on a bike with his son. Was the first character to have someone accompanying him, which was found to offer many opportunities to create lulzy situations. Several maps have been designed specifically for riding off a ramp and tossing your son into a basketball hoop.
  • Effective Shopper - A fatass riding in a powered shopping cart full of groceries. Tends to either be the easiest or hardest character to play as depending on the map, due to the size of both the character and the vehicle.
  • Moped Couple - The first new character to be added to the game, Moped Couple is another pair of characters on a bike. This time the second rider is normally sized, but she will tightly cling onto her boyfriend even when he is dead and the bike is heading straight into a pit of death. Has a weakened version of the Wheelchair guy's rocket boosters instead of a jump.
  • Lawnmower Man - With the obesity of Effective Shopper, the jump of Segway Guy, and the age of Wheelchair Guy, the Lawnmower Man is the second addition to the Happy Wheels team. He features a lawnmower with spinning blades with which to destroy anything he rides over. Unfortunately, it is just for show, as they do absolutely nothing. He also has the unique feature of being the only black man in the game so far. Common sightings are chomping down on the watermelons and raping the white wimmin with 7 foot spears.
  • Explorer Guy - Indiana Jones on a minecart. This guy is extremely glitchy, wears tattered rags for pants, and has no redeeming abilities whatsoever.
  • Santa Claus - Pretty much Santa Claus with elves pulling him. Only thing special is that he can fly for a few seconds.
  • Pogo Stick Man - He has a fucking pogo stick. Only redeeming ability about this guy is the fact he can crush skulls with his pogo stick.
  • Irresponsible Mom - Basically just a copypasta of the Irresponsible Dad character with a few slight changes. The only redeeming quality about this character is that she can go downhill at fast speeds and proceed to turn her children into a pile of entrails and internal organs.
  • Helicopter Man - A fat guy in a small "helicopter". Possibly the best for air travel, considering that he can fucking fly around the map.

Gameplay

Tl;dw, people die.

And again.

HOLY SHIT! GABE NEWELL IS IN THIS ONE!

See also:

External Links

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