IGN
IGN is a shitty game website, populated by basement-dwellers, furries, tourneyfags, and 13-year-old boy trolls. It's most well known for its forums, on which hundreds of retards actually pay their hard earned money (or at least their mom's money) to post on their many crappy boards. Their reviews are noteworthy as well, mostly because they are utter shit, with one reviewer even claiming to have played Halo for the DS. Don't forget kids, that you can't spell ignorant, without IGN. It's also owned by News Corp which is a great indicator on the quality of the games journalism on this website.
In A Nutshell
IGN Boards
The IGN boards are a mixed bag of shit and piss. Probably because they hire 13 year old boys to moderate it. The most used board is teh vestibule, on which dozens of fags preach their religious beliefs, brag about the sex they never have had, and post pictures of their "GF's" who don't even know them, only to have them photoshopped into unfunny situations. There are also polls about the most ridiculous subjects, and "I got X many posts, come in here and stroke my e-penis" threads, in which lower post members enter and try impress the losers who spend all day posting for 3 years and as a result have OVER NINE THOUSSSSSAAAAANNNDDDD!!!! posts. They also have ranking threads, which are basically a place for the "respected users" to go in and suck each other off. Most posters also like to make up bullshit stories about how they had sex or get into some kind of sticky situation, when in actuality, they are all just virgins and stay home all day. The Vestibule is also notorious for faggots who create alternate accounts so they can post stupid shit without fear of getting their main account banned. They claim to do it for the lulz, but they're just lonely virgins who are desperate for attention. Of all the posters on the board 0.01% are girls. If a known girl posts, all the virgins of the Vestibule will come flocking and start posting stupid shit and try their best to get recognized by the opposite sex. The worst are the gimmick trolls who are so lonely, that they have to become known for trolling so they can get the much wanted attention. Instead of actually making quality posts, they would spend nights devising stupid ass shit to try to piss off the board, and after they log off, they realize how lonely they are.
IGN does feature other boards, but no one gives a flying shit about any of them.
IGN Video
IGN is full of shitty video content that often takes a fucking lifetime to load. In the time it takes to load a single 320x240 pixel video, you can take a shit, take your monthly shower, and take a shit again. Even the bad ass insiders experience shitty download speeds. IGN could take their revenues and invest them in their new servers to handle the increase in traffic, but don't, some argue because they know that 99% of their visitors are jobless basement dwellers who have too much fucking time on their hands anyway. IGN also desires to go the contrary of the YouTube route and litter their video service with commercials so that shitty download speed can be even shittier and users can be flodded with pointless OTHER commercials when they are just trying to watch a commercial for a CERTAIN video game!
| Typical IGN review |
Insiders VS Outsiders
On the IGN boards, you are either an insider (cool) or an outsider (lame as fuck). Outsiders are people who use the boards for free, and can only post once per minute. It's like "OMG, I CAN ONLY GET 1 POSTS PER MINUTE!!!!111". Insiders on the other hand, get one post per 30 seconds. In IGN standards, that basically makes you twice as cool. Insiders also get to choose from a plethora of unfunny, stupid icons that they think make them look cool. They don't, mainly because you have to pay fucking money to be an insider. That's right. It costs about $20 per year to post once every 30 seconds!!!! That's twice as much as Something Awful. IGN also does not let anyone under age 21 to become an insider because everyone knows anybody under age 21 just can't handle the super-awesome responsibility of being able to post once every 30 seconds.
The People
So who uses IGN? In general, a bunch of fucktarded 13-year-old boys and the pedophiles who pry on them. They post about their problems and their shit stories about their "friends" doing stupid shit. The rest of the users will then spam the thread with statements such as "post pics" so that they can increase their post count to make up for their penis size. They also post "their" grades, to show how intellectual they are, when in reality they're all just a bunch of retarded furfags who spend all their free time on a shitty internet forum.
It should also be noted that in order to cater better to said 13 year old boys, there is an entire section of the site dedicated to "babes". These "babes" can be IRL, pixels on a screen, or totally unrelated to video games, as long as they've got a pretty face to attract traffic to the site. Or not.
Good job IGN for creating a site for 13 year olds to get together and masturbate.
Bannable Offenses
On IGN, you can be banned for everything! If you swear you'll get banned, if you post inappropriate pictures you'll get banned, and if you piss off the mods during their consistent periods, you'll get banned.
Examples of stupid things you can get banned for:
- Saying that "black people like watermelon and chicken". Yes I was banned for saying that because apparently that is somehow "racist" and "offensive".
- Saying that "Jews are evil". I don't see how that's racist at all, when it is a FACT. I guess libtards are afraid of facts.
- Saying that "pedobear approves of loli-rape". Again, these cocksuckers are too politically correct and are offended by ANYTHING.
- Talking about piracy, even though everyone does it.
So it is no exaggeration you can get banned for ANYTHING on this site.
Summary
IGN sucks. You are better off wiring your posts on a piece of paper (at least you won't get banned) and responding to yourself on it, or sticking pins under your fingernails or doing anything other than using IGN. After reading this article, make a fake account there and spam the shit out of it.
Bonus points if you can get them to buy insider for you.
Moar bonus points if copy and paste this link there.
Also, in case you haven't heard: Halo 3.
External Links
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IGN is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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IGN is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
