Frets On Fire
Frets On Fire is basically Guitar Hero for Jews; Jews with computers, that is. To play, you have to pick up your keyboard, and hold it like the Elvis Costello rip-off in the logo. Which means if you have a laptop, you're fucked. And since many keyboards suck, you probably won't be able to use three-button chords, so you'll experience epic fail on any difficulty higher than Easy. If you already have a Guitar Hero II controller for the Xbox 360, you can plug it in and download the Xbox Accessories program for your computer and use it instead be frustrated as it doesn't work. But, if you have a Guitar Hero controller, you probably have Guitar Hero, so why not just go play that?
The fans idolize Jurgen, a fictional player that is introduced to us during the tutorial. However, Jurgen has not made a appearence since the great battle with Lou, making many fans believe that he is our current God. Obviously these fans are wrong, since God is not a black figurine holding a keyboard.
Features
The game has a lot of features that aren't stolen from the game it copies, Counter-Strike Hello Kitty Island Adventure. It has support for custom songs, of very high quality, made by the fans. It is also open-source, which means that it can be fully changed. Therefore, many modders spend their time improving the game.
Many of this mods are just OMG IT LOOKZ LIKE GUITAR HERO, but many others actually offer something original, like drum support (stolen from Rock Band), rock meters (stolen from Guitar Hero, again), performance improvements (stolen from Starcraft), and a hidden easter egg in which Jurgen sings a song about drugs, called "Consejos Narcos".
Las leyes narcos Hay que obedezer El brujo da consejos Oiganme pendejos Con gueros - si Con negros - no Marihuana - si El polvo - no Llego la troca Cien kilos de la blanca Hay que pintarlas Con sangre de perro Cortado - si Barato - no Mordidas - si La migra - no Con güeros - si Con negros - no Marihuana - si El polvo - no Narcos - si La chota - no Un poquito de hongo - si Controles Iggy - no Con güeros - si Con negros - no Marihuana - si El polvo - no
Translation:
Drug runner's laws You must obey them El Brujo gives you advices Listen to me, **** With white men - yes With black men - no Marijuana - yes The powder - no The truck has arrived One hundred kilos of the white stuff You have to paint them With dog's blood Cut up - yes Cheap - no Bribes - yes Border patrol - no With white men - yes With black men - no Marijuana - yes The powder - no Drug runners - yes Goat kid - no A Little mushroom - yes Iggy controls - no With white men - yes.
Difficulties
In Frets on Fire, there are four difficulties:
- Supaeasy - This is easy mode for songs stolen from Guitar Hero.
- Easy - Medium for Guitar Hero. Yes, that makes perfect sense.
- Medium - Another brilliant conversion from Guitar Hero, this time Hard difficulty.
- OMG AWESOME FTW - Also known as Expert.
Frets on Fire Fan Forum
THIS IS THE COOLEST FORUM EVER. In reality this is a forum where a bunch of Frets on Fire players gather to talk about their achievements and how 1337 their skills are. Intense levels of faggotry are present in all places on this forum. Any form of trolling, which is anything that the mods don't like (This ranges from disagreeing with them to posting from multiple IP addresses will get you banned). A particularly baffling practice among forum goers is the judging of people, not by the content of their character, but by their fucking post count.
Frets on Fire Discussion Section
In this area, people talk about Tech Support, Jew, and Frets on Fire in General. IF YOU POST ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE IN THERE AREA YOU WILL BE B&. This area is heavily guarded by the ever present mods, if you criticize or talk about how someone else's song is better than Puppetz version, you will be B&. If you mention something about raph or the IRC chatroom you will be B&. This is the most trafficked forum because most people only make shitty accounts on the website to download the Jew. When posting in this forum follow these golden rules.
- 1. Find a song page with over 9000 comments
- 2. Download the song
- 3. Play it
- 4. Go back to the page
- 5. Talk about how great the song is and suck cock in general
- 6. ????
- 7. PROFIT!!!
Score Section (moar liek sexion amirite?)
THIS SECTION IS SRS BUSINESS. This is by far the least trafficked of all the boards. Mainly because anyone who regularly posts here is a serious basement dweller. Josef Fritzl regularly posts in this section because we all know how much tiem he spends in the basement. An Easy way to cause drama in the score section is to make fake scores or post about how much better at Frets on Fire you are than everyone else. This will induce a major case of butthurt among the senior members (Who are all Finnish Eurofags). This is because the Finns are Snow Jews and can't afford real Guitar Hero.
Other
This is a section for everything else. The Off Topic section is where everyone hangs out on this board. Most of the Off Topic goers desperately try to be /b/tards and quote forced memes and other shit all over the place. WARNING!!!! POSTING OFF TOPIC IN THE OFF TOPIC SECTION WILL GET YOU B& (srsly). It's apparently possible to make useless threads in an Off Topic section.
Any attempt to talk about music or anything thing else in this section will ultimately lead to a bunch of death metal fags hijacking your thread and talking about how shitty your music is. However, they will not get B& for this because they have more posts than you. A troll could easily Goatse this section which would cause most of the members to say "I'm twelve years old, and what is this?".
Notable Members of the Forum
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PLEASE NOTE: THIS SECTION CONTAINS COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF BUTTHURT. DISREGARD ANY BAWWING IN THIS SECTION. |
Puppetz
ZOMG BEST FRETTAR EVER. Very likely to be an overweight Finnish IRL fag. He spends almost all of his time making songs for people to download so they will like him more. The rest of his time is spent posting on the forum or playing Frets on Fire. He has a whopping 7000 posts and acts like a pretty cool guy most of the time. However, if you cross him (This can be done only two ways)He will beat the shit out of you through the internet because he is that cool. The two ways to piss him off can be found below.
- 1. Say he sucks at making songs for Frets on Fire and that Rock Band and Guitar Hero songs are over 9000 times better.
- 2. Say you are better than him at Frets on Fire.
Doing any one of those two things, or both if you are a distinguished internetter can induce major lulz as everyone on the forum will come to defend him from the vicious attacks
Nobby76
Huge faggot who runs the IRC chat and therefore thinks he is a mod and everyone cares what he says. If you go into the IRC and say bad things about women Nobby76 will b&hammer you because he is trying to protect them from your attacks. Nobby76 never temporary bans and will always exercise a perma-ban.
- PRO-TIP: AVOID THE IRC CHATROOM UNLESS YOUR WANT TO GET B&.
mmsven
Moderator who only posts in threads about games. The only way to get mmsven to use the banhammer is to insult him by saying that he shouldn't be a mod. If you are b& by mmsven you are a successful troll. In other words, mmsven is the king of all the game lovers on the forum. He is probably the most laid back of the moderators, so he is not a huge faggots like all of the other mods on the forum.
Mitch951
Successful Troll who has grown an immunity to the banhammer. He can hijack any thread or troll anyone and nothing happens because he is awesome.
Maartah
Huge faggot from Holland. He thinks the forum is SRS BUSINESS. He frequents every forum section and will shit a brick if you don't put your name on the score you posted. Easy way to troll him is to
- 1. Be a dick
- 2. Post Scores without names on them
- 3. Ignore him and continue steps 1 and 2
- 4. ????
- 5. PROFIT!!!
Raph666
Your average mod. He will ban you before you can blink. So you better blink fast
Kotti
The exact same as Puppetz, but less people like him
Zmannnn
Troll of epic proportions. If something is wrong with the forum, chances are he did it. He has over 9000 accounts and has been b& at least 100 times. Zmannnn is considered a hero by anyone who haets this forum. He has Bel-Aired the forum multiple times and get major lulz from being b&. The people at FoF-FF are still waiting for something else.
Codehazard
The coding equivalent of shit. He single handedly trolled over 9000 threads, all of them being about him not being able speak English and wanting to add genital shaped fireballs for vocals so that he can feel more like Rob Halford and be able to 5 star Painkiller.
KTownEgghead
Person who likes Paramore and successfully trolled the whole community by make a counter community that constantly BAWWWS about how bad FoF-FF is. If you are ever in a thread with KTownEgghead the title will be something along the lines of:
- 1. PARAMORE IS SO AWSUM!!!!1ONE!
- 2. FOF-FF SUX BAWLS
- 3. ZOMG WE HAEV A PODCAST NAO
- 4. WAI U GAIZ HAET MAI SONGS OLOLOLOLOL?
- 5. U ALL R GHEY IM LEAVING FOREVER BAI NAO
KTown is an avid user of cruise control and created a shit podcast that rambles on about useless information and Paramore. He can be found on BlogTV eating food almost all of the time. Check his forum here, fansonfire.net
Amak11
Considered to be one of the main "village idiots" of the Frets On Fire Community. He often posts things that have nothing to do with anything and causes mass disruption throughout the community.
---Not Anymore. he's not that bad I mean. He's still bad, but the village idiot is now estemshorn. No doubt.---
Estemshorn
A newcomer, having only joined in 2008, Estemshorn has built a reputation as one of the biggest IDIOTS of the community. Not only does he post the most retarded comments on the forums (after slashfan of course), he also suggests new ideas that in turn make him seem like a total idiot. During this period of activity, /he caused mass trolling/<--NOPE He acted like an amazing faggot and took his retardedness to the next level, and was B& as a result. He is also a musicfag who like to post shitty techno songs he made in 5 minutes on FL Studio.
Crushedsoul (A.K.A Metallicaholic666)
Crushedsoul was actually an oldfag, and by that I mean he is a faggot. He was a constant troll, sucked dicks, and made the worst theme ever (besides the MSpaint themes) called Fail Hero.
tl;dr: He sucked.
He got permab& for being a massive faggot, and in January of 2010, rejoined the forums as Metallicaholic666. Nobody knew that he was crushedsoul because HE ACTUALLY ACTED FUCKING MATURE'---Lol no, he kept sucking estemshorn's dick ololo.' After a couple months, his true identity was revealed and he bawwed to death about it, but since then 'Tallica has been a somewhat decent forum member, but still a humongous faggot. Him and Worldrave are tight like an asian dude in spandex. They're working on a Guitar Hero 5 theme together, that will probably suck as much as Fail Hero.
Loljk it'll be cool.
He still bawwws at the fact of how much of a faggot he was back in the crushedsoul days, and rages when someone calls him that, but the only people who ever remind him of it are vedi, rapt0r, and estemswhore.
Him and estemshorn are also buttsex pirates, but that's beside the point.
Jfosheezy
One of the biggest douches the forums have ever seen. Jfosheezy frequents the off topic forum in the hopes that one day people will actually listen to what he has to say and will not criticize him.
--- He's not actually a douche... he's was just a moron. A complete idiot, Like estemshorn---
Angellinus
Mexican Often causes trouble as his posts rarely ever make sense and whenever they do, no one cares about them anyway.
Blackfriday
Also goes under the names "mydeepestdream" or "whitefriday." The name change due to the fact that his mom went through his computer and saw things she didn't like, therefore, he was b& from the internet. A devout christian and valuable member of society, Blackfriday often has confronting views on religion and often tries to convert people of the community into his way of thinking. Also had a run in the High Scores department, where his catch phrase remained as "im only 12 guise, give me a brakeeeeeee!!!!1`1!!!1!!!" This caused mass flaming and a considerable amount of successful trolling. Methods of pissing Blackfriday off include
- 1. Insult christianity
- 2. Ignore his comebacks
- 3. Neglect him as a member of society
- 4.????
- 5. Profit.
Connor Mcdaniel
(oh no my self esteem shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit)
Connor Mcdaniel, better know as vedicardi, or just the faggot(baww someone's mad), is an anime fanatic that often likes to pick on the noobs of the forum. He is part of a strange occurence called The Revered Shitface effect. In the ancient times of the FoF-FF, he actually probably contributed a decently fretted song or two. As time passed, he became a form of ultra troll, while consistently making below average songs for the game, yet still being revered as a great fretter. The moderators seem to be oblivious to his obvious trolling, since he probably gives them reassurance in their daily lives.
---Nobody likes him because he makes people cry. Booboo---
Stickmasta
How awesome can a member get? Alot better then stickmasta. He posts things that may seem useful for about 4 seconds in his mind then remembers there is a topic with the same title. He doesn't do too much... he would rather be playing Rock Band or something. But regardless. He is there. Taking up another space in the forums. Chckn Pl0x?
BlackFate
Rapt0r
>implying this cancerous faggot deserves a section.
>implying he doesn't
ohwait.mp3
Slashfan*insertrandomnumberhere*
NO, he doesn't like the guitarist Slash... he likes slashes as in cuts. Go figure. How retarded can a member of the FoF-FF get? Well the answer is still unknown. But what we do know is that slashfan is one of the worst idiots to ever post in the forum. Why you ask? Well he may seem inoffensive, but beware, he posts the most useless, stupid, awfully innecesary shit ever. He's either a true moron, or he's just trolling the forums hardcore. His average posts consist of: "LOL" "Haha dats cool" "nice one" "lul xD" "Haha OK xD" "xD" and most recently "I agree =P"
Other Members
- BSRaven *Cool but faggy
- Brandon1107 *Eh
- Electro Tomato *Faggot
- Quakegod667 *Faggot
- Jstump91 *Cool dev
- Scutch-Nukem *Cool dude
- DKDarc
The Day the Connor died
On Saturday, March 20th, 2010, Connor Mcdaniel, rapt0r, and iamsensey all got suspended for being faggots. iamsensey's ban has been lifted, but Connor Mcdaniel & rapt0r are still banned. The moment that the FOF-FF members figured out they were all three banned, an epic party was held and they shat themselves because the three biggest faggots were gone, for at least a day and maybe even longer.
DISREGARD THAT they are now unb&. but still epic faggots.
Day Bannage 2.0
Late at Night on July 7th, 2010, there was a thread of some faggot (whose last name was sinks, for some odd reason) who posted a silly game that sucked tits. Everybody decided to totally flame the OP for being such a Humongous Faggot. Then, the OP decided to further derail the thread by Posting pictures of rapt0r in a dress, leading to rapt0r himself confirming that he is a crossdresser. This caused massive lulz and every post thereon got more and more off-topic and useless. It was an epic bread indeed. The thread was full of The many faces of rapt0r, vedi admitting he is homosex, metallicaholic666666 acting like his old crushedsoul self, and estemshorn looking like the epic faggot he is.
Since the Mods were asleep, this thread stayed alive until the faggot OP locked it, and then a couple hours later, the thread was deleted and rapt0r, 'tallica, estemshorn, and vedi are all serving one day bans, for them to be re-released into the shitstorm of faggots on july 8th at approx. 7am.
See Also
External Links
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