Cyndilovespiccolo

DRAMA QUEEN!

	“	Getting an ED page is sort of a humbling experience. Makes me look back and realize how I've been a dumbass.	„
	—Cyndi shows a spark of maturity, but her wisdom comes a little too late.

This is her hawt party look. Notice how anorexic she looks and she has no consept of where blush should go. Also notice the pimples where the breasts should be.

File:Partybawwwwww.jpg

a typical journal of bawwwww.

File:Cyntwitterbawparty.jpg

a typical tweet of bawwwww.

She is as deep as an ocean

CyndilovesPiccolo is an autistic fandom TARTlet. Known mostly for her shitty Transformers slashfic, she was also known to embarrass the autistic community with her spoiled twat attitude. Cyndi has been on DA since 2003 and has had numerous deviations pulled and was suspended at least twice for her gay porn. Yet the rules don't apply to her since she's autistic so she tried to repost that shit and cried when it got taken down again. Past this stage, but the fact remains: autism is just a fancy word for dumbass.

Although Cyndi hates devianTART with a burning passion, she dragged her BAWWWing to myspace and opened an account on sheezyart: 4mbrosia. She whined in her super sekrit blog on blurty blogspot and while her actions seemed infantile and childish, we would like to remind the reader that Cyndi is thirty years old. All that time, she pissed and moaned about being grounded, picked on, and not allowed to do what she wants because she's autistic.

She also had a case of Victim Syndrome, based on the fact that everything bad in the world happened to her. She had one ass sucker who failed to stick up for her by blanking this article. Read a butthurt letter to ED written by mackers.

Despite all of this, Cyndi is surprisingly more sane than Bonita, however, her drama is born from her whining about the loss of her beloved writing from DevianTart.

Since the advent of this article, Cyndi has improved her behavior and ceased generating drama and lulz. However, this article still stands as a lesson of how not to be a cunt on the internet.

Read on, gentle reader.

Autism

FUCK YOU THIS IS MY LYFE!!! YOU BETTER PITTY ME OR ELS!!!11!!1!!11!1

New glasses complete with ugly frames. She might be drunk in this pic

Cyndi, embarrassing other autistic people.

and again bawwwww victim

Crushed over a cartoon characters death

Cyndi thinks she doesn't deserve an ED page because she's autistic; however, we here at ED know that autistic people have a right to be shown how fucking stupid they are just like everyone else.

Like most asspies, Cyndi greatly exaggerates her condition and uses it to garner sympathy. You know, the side where kids can't function at all in society, will never really fully communicate with their families and will live life hampered by a condition that's barely understood? Puleeeeeze.

Cyndi is a high functioning autistic, probably closer to assburgers than she'd like to admit. She shares many traits with asspie attention whores. When pointing out to a 'normal' autistic person what they're doing is fucktarded they tend to stfu and remember to not do that shit again. Cyndi, on the other hand, will scream and continue to do stupid shit until someone comes along and gives her a figurative slap on the hand. Then she curls into a ball and cries until she is placed within the safe confines of her hugbox. This asshole behavior of hers has ceased, but anonymous does not forgive or forget.

Deep down, Cyndi knows she's as boring as drying paint and has compensated by developing her entire personality around her disorder. Like her innumerable Wal-mart pentacles, Cyndi wears the autistic label with pride. She's also cultivated a sneering sense of superiority over the fascist neurotypicals who oppress her and her unique talents. What talents, you ask? Only the ability to describe robot sex in language so flowery that tulips will bloom out of your ass if you read her shitty fanfiction.

Cyndi regularly rages against the evils of "curebies", or people who want to find a cure for autism. In her mind this is a civil rights violation on par with slavery. Don't worry, she shall overcome.

The real reason Cyndi opposes curing autism is that nacho-stained asspies make up the entirety of her reading audience. Without a constant stream of comments encouraging her to write more fanfiction about Optimus Prime and Megatron feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries, her life loses all meaning.

Cyndi often posted about revolutions in autism and autism awareness month in an apparent attempt to educate the public. In fact, it was just an excuse to post "Look at me, I'm autistic! You gotta be super nice to me-- or else!" over and over. Cyndi didn't care about other autistic people. She only wanted you to remember that SHE is autistic and that you'd better give her the special treatment she deserved. Nevar forget-- not that she'll let you.

Keep in mind that after years of claiming she has autism, Cyndi changed up the game by claiming she had PDD-NOS. PDD-NOS, like autism, has symptoms including but not limited to: lack of social skills, difficulty communicating, unusual play with toys, repetitive body movement, aversion to certain sensory stimuli, and others. PDD-NOS is so close to resembling autism that it's street name is "atypical autism", further confusing parents about what the fuck is wrong with their kid.

The only things that distinguishes PDD-NOS from autism is that it's usually diagnosed when doctors simply don't want to slap a kid with the autistic label. This is probably because they realize what spoiled little shits they are and don't want them to have an excuse to be an asshole for life.

But this hadn't stopped Cyndi! Instead of being better than those stupid NTs she's also better than other asspies because she has "non-autistic-autism". She will always be more special than you.

Home Life

bitch got pwnt.

Like all adult Transformers fans, Cyndi still lives with her parents. She's also an unemployed deadbeat due to the fact that her resume consists solely of "Transformers erotica author."

Cyndi still gets grounded by her dad at the age of over 9000, a subject that she bitched about regularly and she got her revenge by wiping snot on the collars of his shirts. Worse yet, she admitted to showing her Transformers porn to her father in attempt to gain his approval, cementing her status as one of the stupidest fantards ever. Even the most shameless fangirls dread the moment their family discovers that they write about Megatron slobbering on Optimus Prime's exhaust pipe in their spare time.

Cyndi claims she only showed her mom her porn. Which makes it better somehow.

Cyndi's attempt to inspire her father's pride failed miserably, sending him into a near suicidal bout of shame and regret. Cyndi then hammered out a LiveJournal entry complaining that her father called her scribblings "filth".

But wait! Cyndi claimed she's asexual with no sexual attraction to either gender. She said this while she got off on giant robot sex.

ED put too much pressure on Cyndi and she cut off all her long hair and dyed it purple. She probably thought this was some sort of improvement. We expected a bawwwwwwwwy journal any day about getting kicked out of church for her nasty un-Catholic appearance, but it never happened.

It was discovered that she wears glasses. Photos of her wearing them make it clear even spex can't help her nasty saggy face. Yet she seems to think purple hair makes her America's next top model.

Her Retarded New Look About missing Pics

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  Avant Garde
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  It cannot be unseen.
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  I see ugly ppl
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  Fail harder.
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  undreye circles r so hawt.
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  This new hairstyle is so flattering. Now she can LOOK like she's from another planet, too!

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  hawt
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  How to fail at looking mysterious
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  Pity me, I cant decide which side to part my hair on.
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  Yet another lame attempt at being sexy.
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  The real ugly side of autism. Cyndi's new hairstyle complements her overall emaciated appearance.
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  Cadaver chic.
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  Cyndi tries the greaseball emo kid look on for size.
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  Devotion. ...To being a retard.
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  Just like the Virgin Mary. You know, if she were a pornographer with an 80's toy fetish.
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  She's a witch!
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  Little ~*Goth*~ Riding Hood. (Can she fail any harder?)
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  Cydni fulfills her dream to suck Optimus Prime's dick while her ugly roots show neglect
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  Was this taken with a film camera from 1995?
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  only diff w/ her and mary is she's so ugly even god wuldn't tap that.
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  ralfie wants his red ryder bb gun back

Cyndi and her Parents

Cyndi's father on PeopleOfWalmart.com, who would admit to this?

INFAMOUS BOOGER JOURNAL--This is what happens if she doesn't get her way.

tweeting her raeg to teh world

File:Blamedadbaww.jpg

blaming her father for everything of course nothing is ever her fault.

Ohnoes! People actually have lives that don't revolve around Cyndi's smut!

Ohnoes! Cyndi has to do work like boring old NTs!! Now she can't write more smut!

Ohnoes. How dare anybody make her help take down a Christmas tree and mess up her smutting time!?

her dad tried to throw out her porn and sex toy and she had a fit of asspie raeg.

File:Cynbloggerpwnd.jpg

massivly pwned

While Cyndi's parents are not saints in this matter, seeing as how they allowed their crotch dropping to grow into this spoiled brat of a woman she is today. There is some pity for these poor people.

In a recent entry Cyndi complained about being 'volunteered against her will' to do yard work instead of her mother having to do it. Her mother, who has had a multitude of health issues in the past, was supposed to do it later in the evening. However Cyndi's father decided frail, weak, angelic Cyndi should go out in the hot California sun and learn to appreciate how cushy her life is by raking the yard.

Cyndi threw an Aspie fit and cried when her elderly father, who not only provides for Cyndi's mentally ill-adjusted ass, but has -also- had health problems in the past, went to lay down instead of doing the work himself. This cut into Cyndi's smut writing time.

Speaking of Cyndi's Smut, she also Aspie Raged over her father not fixing her computer right. this. instant. When her father finally did get around to doing it, Cyndi told him no and he apparently 'yelled' at her. Which is to say he probably got fed up with her little bitch mouth telling him no after she whined and cried about her smut machine not working right for several hours while he was doing something more important. Like paying for the roof over Cyndi's mentally retarded head.

An incident came to light where more of her bawwwwing seflishness reared its retarded head. how dare anybody ask her to help around the house and cut into her brainstorming time. once again her dad threatened to ground her 30 year old sagging ass unless she complied, resulting in her hammering out another journal of outrage against the unfair handed to her home she lives in. Clearly computer life is far more important then helping her aging mother take down a Christmas tree.

Another situation occurred when Cyndi returned home from her cult meeting to find her dear daddy had cleaned her pigstie of a room, throwing away not only her replica of a transformer dick, he also removed her shitty porn art and stories and she asspie raeged as she dug her sorry excuse of a life out of the trash while threatining to destroy her father's adult magazines if he EVAR TOUCHED HER ROOM AGAIN.

But not before hammering her anguish out on twitter and her blurty, searching for pity.

Cyndi clearly lived in an abusive home. Her life was horrible.

Religion

Cyndi's tuna-smelling bedroom clearly shows she loves shitty anime more than Jesus.

not in a cult at all nope

Strike out means it's not a threat!

Despite finding out that their daughter would be a vile failure of a human being during prenatal testing, Cyndi's parents decided not to abort due to their strong Catholic faith-- a decision they would live to regret. Cyndi later became Catholic herself in gratitude, despite her love of faggotry which is in direct contradiction to her church's teaching. Apparently altar boys and robots don't count!
Since Jesus is her homeboy, Cyndi doesn't hesitate to call him for backup when she's losing an internet argument. Any comment criticizing her disgusting behavior or writing will be met with, "GOD WILL JUDGE YOU ON THE DAY YOU DIE, FUCKER!" or "BURN IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" While Jesus normally frowns upon violent threats, he makes an exception for Cyndi because she's a special and unique snowflake.
Cyndi regularly prays to God and asks him to kill her enemies (which is totally Catholic of her). She's also not above threatening to carry out acts of violence herself, or encouraging her friends to do so, often in ALL CAPS to demonstrate the depth of her ASSPIE RAGE.
Thank goodness there's a computer separating you from the fury of a five-foot nothing, seventy-pound sack of wire hangers who gets a sensory overload if you lightly touch her.
She claims she would never actually DO violent things to anybody. See above statement and it's probably the only smart thing she ever has to say.

IT'S NOT PORN

	“	Deep down, underneath it all, Ambrosia is a love story. Straight up, that's what it is.	„

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

ZOMG! LOVE NEGATES PORN!

Cyndi's erotica falls from her keys like hymns from the mouths of angels, you uncultured fucks!

Cyndi was convinced people are out to get her and destroy her gay fanfic. She seemed to believe buttrape between Unicron and Starscream would some how make the world a better place, while 'real' porn was destroying children's minds. Clearly, ass sex in children's cartoons could have prevented 9/11.

People couldn't understand that her fics weren't about disgusting humans fucking and spooging! It was about two beautiful machines sucking off each other's USB cables and shocking one another while they moaned in pure ecstasy, and only this ecstasy could cure what ails them. Then they did it up the rear output portal. But you wouldn't know that, you failed stop to examine the deep psychological reasons why Optimus Prime had to fuck Megatron's face. You didn't see the character development! You didn't see the love! The passion! The fap fap fap fap fap.

Cyndi was adamant that her porn wasn't porn at all, she called it 'smut'. Which was totally different from porn. Totally. The dictionary defines 'smut' as:

	“	smut (smŭt)n. 1. A particle of dirt. 2. A smudge made by soot. 3. Obscenity in speech or writing. 4. Pornography. 5. Any of various plant diseases.	„
	—The Dictionary - On smut

Did you even consider why he jammed it in!?

So her Transformers "literature" is really dirty, obscene, diseased porn. Sorry for the misconceptions.

Here are examples of what she doesn't consider "porn":

Starscream shrugged mentally. He stuck his finger into the port and felt around. It was loaded, absolutely loaded with scorching sensors and pulsating lubricant tubing. Heat sinks lined the sides. Lights blinked near the outer edges.
Unicron arched an optic ridge. "I won't break, Starscream. Jam it in."
"Jam it?"
"Starscream," Unicron leaned over, his voice stern, "I am not Megatron. I want you to touch me. Here, I'll even get you started." He took Starscream's hand, guided it down and shoved it hard into his open port--so hard that metal screeched on metal. A shudder ran the length of his body. "See? Is that so difficult?"
Starscream stared at how his finger was buried up to the first knuckle in wires, metal and the dark god's growing lust. He could see sparks spitting around his fingertip.
He hung his head, trembling, wanting desperately to escape the self-defeating thoughts trying to hold him prisoner. They circled his processors like the links of a chain that bound his consciousness to a single idea.
Except it never was his idea. It was Megatron's.
And for now, the chain was stronger than him. He lifted his finger, not yet ready to take that step.
"I think..." Starscream lifted himself off Unicron's lap, "...I'd like to explore a bit--if you don't mind, that is. Maybe...if I do that, I'll feel like--"
"If that is what you want." Unicron gestured to himself, the smirk never leaving his expression. "Then it pleases me."

Starscream thought of the most vulgar word for sex he could think of. Next thing he knew, Unicron was upon him, lips and tongue probing his mouth. Hands ran across his wings, heating him up. It was amazing how the Chaos-bringer could go from cold to insatiably aroused within seconds. He let Unicron guide him down onto his hands and knees. Before he could question this odd position, he felt familiar abs press against his aft. Fingers probed his backside until, suddenly, his exhaust port was flipped open. Unicron made an approving noise.
"You clean your vent regularly. Good."
"Of course I clean it! I don't want to walk around smelling like exhaust. What's so interesting about it anyway? Don't you have your own to fondle?"
"Yes, but yours is easier to reach."
And, with that, Unicron let his access port slide out and into the vent.
Starscream's mouth formed a round "O" shape. He experienced sensations that usually meant he had gas to expel. Unicron did a lot of weird things that ended up feeling great, but this was the weirdest yet. Starscream, now curious to where this might lead, decided he'd tolerate the invasion on his equivalent of an anus. At least for now.
Dexterous hands cupped Starscream's cockpit. Unicron dripped velvet words into his audio sensors, "Let's try it this way."
"Fine...but this stops if I don't like it."
"Don't worry." Those wonderful hands caressed his wings again, creating a delicious tingling around his Spark.
Starscream bit his bottom lip. He'd come to learn that Unicron would never harm him unless he gave him a good reason to. Was this how it felt to trust someone?
Unicron's first pulse was harsh. Starscream wailed in almost-pain, trying to arch away, but Unicron's body prevented him from sitting up.
"Shh, Starscream," Unicron whispered, "It will pass."
"Y-you're burning my aft! Oh...sh-shit!" Starscream's body treated the object in his vent as an obstruction. A piston in the back of the port started pushing against Unicron's extended panel. Unicron thrust his hips forward and forced the piston backwards. In and out, a grinding thrust that scraped against sensory nodes Starscream never knew he had. Agonizing initially--like fire mixed into pins and needles. He clenched his teeth, waiting, trusting.
Sure enough, the burning died to a pleasant tingling. Then Unicron sent static and vibrations into the vent and...ohh...fireworks danced through Starscream's vision. He grunted and dug his aft into Unicron's belly. Each pulse came in irregular intervals that kept him guessing and wreaked the most wonderful havoc on his sensory system. He stretched his hands out in front of him like a feline, which caused his back end to rise. His exhaust wiring sent shocks into Unicron's port. Unicron arched forward with a soft snarl. Starscream grinned and hooked his knees around Unicron's legs. Then he simply sat up, pushing Unicron onto his back so he straddled him backwards. The piston in his aft made him rise and fall without having to move himself. A huge electrical surge curled through his body and wrenched a moan from his vocal processor.
"Yes," grunted the dark god.
Starscream leaned back and grabbed Unicron's hands. He didn't know what compelled him to do so, but he clutched them possessively. Each time Starscream released a pulse, he felt those hands tighten, and his own fingers squeezed in reply. He wished he could see Unicron's face.
"How does it feel?" whispered Unicron.
"Weird," grunted Starscream, "Not bad...I--kind of like it..." he was surprised to feel the familiar overload tingle building in his exhaust port. The slow pace of his internal piston drove him insane with lust. He hung on the edge forever as wave after sensational wave trickled up his body. An orgasm in extreme slow motion. His innards revved in anticipation, every atom in his being straining to reach a few seconds into the future and grab the inevitable.
And then, just as it peaked, Starscream felt a wing digit slide into his cone. His orgasm exploded so hard that he cried lightning until his vision went white. Unicron's hands tightened their grip. Between his shrieks, he thought he heard low moaning, but he couldn't be sure through all the noise he made.

Thick spirals of wiring leapt from the wall, wrapped around Starscream's waist and pulled him forward. The tentacles snaked up his cone, into his exhaust nozzles and all across his wings like a million fingers caressing him at once.
"Hey!" Starscream moaned, trying both to resist and enjoy the tentacles taking advantage of him, "Tha-that's not fair! I thought you'd enjoy it! You said I should make the first move...and then you attack me when I do--what the hell, Unicron?"
Hmph! Electricity flowed through the slithering tentacles. Unicron's voice was absolutely cold, And you call taking advantage of a recharging bot 'fair'?
"I didn't say that. Stop--twisting--my...my words!"
Stop giving me words to twist. Unicron growled, his voice like black ice, I do not appreciate being used!
"I didn't use you! I pleasured you! I--"
Shut up.
Starscream grimaced as the wires inside his cone were probed, shifted and tickled from all sides. A tentacle wrapped around his sweet spot and he grunted with wild abandon. He felt it sliding sideways across his magic wire at the most tantalizingly slow pace, causing his Spark to quiver. Heat lanced across his pelvic area. His coolant pumps thudded a pleasant rhythm. Oh, the feelings Unicron caused made his jaw drop and his fingers curl. He rocked and arched towards those wiggling tendrils. It felt so good that tears trickled down his face. Finally he could take the stimulation no longer and wailed as his circuits overloaded.
The wires didn't go away.
"Mmh...what...hey--stop!"
Why should I?
Unicron made Starscream overload three times, and the last two weren't pleasant. The Seeker sank to lie on his stomach, utterly spent. He felt the tentacles tighten around his body and pull him back upright. Part of the wall morphed into a bas-relief of Unicron's face. Though its eyes were colorless...somehow...they glowed in anguish. The wires yanked Starscream nose to nose with the image.
Never do that to me again. It was said in a shaking whisper that cut like a knife. One last tendril uncurled from beneath the face, effortlessly slipped into the seams in Starscream's cockpit and wrapped thrice around his Spark chamber. Starscream wailed in white-hot agony. His entire body burned. He felt the wire's tip probe the steel casing, the sharp point mere inches from his essence. Never again, am I clear?
Starscream gulped at the unspoken threat and nodded his head. "Please...not my Spark! Oh, Unicron...not my--UNGH--not my Spark! Please! It's the only thing I can still call pure! Please, Unicron...not my Spark--please...please d-don't...oh, Primus, kill me if you must, just don't touch my Spark!"
Unicron's optics widened. The tentacle halted just as it penetrated the chamber casing. Starscream felt it shudder--the hallway around him shivering along with it--before it went limp and retracted. The rest of the wires relaxed and eased him to the floor.

If that isn't porn, then what is? She seemed to think that flowery language magically turned it into smut or erotica.

Hypocrisy

Cyndi, as stated above, claimed to be Catholic; however, looking at her you wouldn't know that she really loves Jesus. She seemed to think she's a witch and paraded around her yard speaking to earth spirits wearing robes and pentacles. Her favorite phrase was also "fucking goddammit", a sign of true piety.

Acting like a retard is natural?!

Cyndi thinks everything EDiots love should die horribly, which is perfectly in line with her preaching about how awful it is that violence is ignored and smut isn't.

Another hypocritical point in Cyndi's personality was she was a member of deviantartsnark where she belittled people for such mundane things as putting boobs on a lizard (an entry that she deleted because even she knew it was stupid), while she draws god awful abominations shown in the gallery below. Most recently, her fanbrat Donny was featured on the same community and she immediately leaped to his defense, despite her own mockery of other artists. She has since quit this community, but the memory remains.
She's against art theft but posted screen caps in her own gallery. A claim which she frequently denied, claiming that real art theft is when you take art someone else drew/created (like Transformers) and claiming you created it. Cyndi belonged to the "It Doesn't Apply To Me" school of belief so her own theft was looked over since she totally gave credit you guys.
Thought people should follow the rules, but breaks them herself.
Is Catholic, but masturbates frequently and posts about her slimy, filth-encrusted vag.
She thinks there is beauty in everyone... except ED. Cyndi probably believes Jesus died for everyone's sins, except the creators of this page.

Ear Shattering Wailing and Vids

HOW COULD YOU MOCK HER SINGING? THIS MEANS WAR.

Cyndi is very proud of the fact that she sings in her church's choir. Apparently she is unaware that this can be accomplished by any social reject with nothing to do on weekends and the people only tolerate her shitty whiny excuses for singing. Cyndi likely joined the choir in the hope that she would be able to view some IRL gay sex. Since it is a Catholic church choir, this may well be her first logical decision ever.
Cyndi's "singing" has been compared to the howls of a dying animal, though this may be overly generous. After all, dying animals don't believe that excessive vibrato is the pinnacle of human vocal achievement.
Also a YouTube attention whore, Cyndi has created a music video in memory of WTC, complete with images of the wreckage set to her vocals. Apparently her suicide-inducing singing brought down the towers like an opera singer's wine glass:

Cyndi also tried to troll ED with another badly edited video by claiming it contained footage of her crying. How did she execute this brilliant scheme? By cutting to an image Godzilla roaring, followed by goatse and farting sound effects. Cyndi clearly needs moar practice when it comes to trolling tactics, though the fact that she posted goatse while raging against the evils of non-robot porn provided many lulz for all.
Sadly, Cyndi deleted the video as soon as she realized it would earn her the YouTube banhammer.
Luckily for those of you with a fetish for utter shit music videos, Cyndi's go-to guy known only as Mackers has set aside webspace for cyndi to send in her audio/visual masterpieces.
Go forth, and marvel what is Transformers set to Enya madonna updated 1-7-09 HAHAHA, DISREGARD THAT, Motionbox went out of business and all of Cyndi's masterpieces were lost with it.

Gonna Get Me

Notice the Smirnoff by the Snapple and half closed eyes. What a little boozer.

While shitfaced, Cyndi shows her apreciation to ED. She also uses Internet Explorer, instant fail.

Cyndi thought that all the negativity she received was from a one group of people who she never specified. The Lulz Organization perhaps? In reality, it was usually just some random trolls kicking sand in her eyes for the lulz. Most likely they followed her from 4chan, where she had apparently tried to teach /b/ about love, respect, and Unicron's tight ass.
She also didn't realize that the reason everyone picked on her was because she was such a drama whore in the first place. Secretly we know she loves it, so keep the lulz flowing by trolling her SUPER SEKRIT BLOG.
ED had also driven Cyndi to drink as she whined about in her blog complete with photographic evidence. Everyone knew that those who love to brag about how much they drink, and can't stand it if you don't know that they drink are usually full of shit and have only had a little champagne punch at a wedding a few years ago or in Cyndi's case a swig of Smirnoff before bed. Lookout guys! She's a loose canon!

Unwarranted Self Importance

Who is raeping who?

A while back Cyndi managed to meet her idol, Peter Cullen who does the voice of Optimus Prime or some shit. She paid to get his autograph and shoved her greasy cum stained copy of her Optimus Prime x Nigger Chick erotica titled "A Fap To Remember" (found here) into his hands. Peter has a serious fetish for Elderly Women and tried to put the moves on Cyndi by giving her a small kiss on the cheek in an attempt to get some action.

She thinks David Kay gives a shit about ambrosia when his char was the one raeping starscream.

This is how asspies get off.

Ever since this moment Cyndi believes she and Cullen are ~*~BFFS~*~. Peter's publicist sent her a pre-typed letter that gets sent to all Peter's Weeaboo fantards who give him shitty fanfics. Cyndi believed it was actually from Cullen, further solidifying her state as Cullen's number one fan.

She has stalked Cullen to all the local conventions which she wastes her parent's money on after she screams and wails about how unfair they are when they remind her there is a worldwide recession going on. At these conventions Cyndi has developed a scathing sense of paranoia exhibited in her latest entry.

Cyndi; thinking she's important.

"By the way, that dumbass fuckball at Botcon who caused the Cullen panel to end early with his stupid "Have you ever read OptimusxMegatron slash?" question--if you were doing that to try and make me look bad, nice TRY. Too bad my fic was OptimusxMIKAELA. You made YOURSELF look like a fool and THAT is how Peter Cullen will remember you. I hope you're happy :)"

Cyndi believed that people -actually- knew she was there and were plotting to make her look bad amongst the thousands of other Fanwhores who write shitty Slashfic. As we all know, Cyndi was the -only- Transfomer 'erotica' writer in existence, a fact she constantly reminded everyone she came into contact with.

Defenders & E-Lawyer

You're all jealous! Only a true poet could describe robots fingerfucking!

E-Lawyer, psychic, and faggot who loves cocks.

Watch out, it's Boobstroya! ED is doomed!

Time for the FINAL STRIKE!

Within minutes of being linked to this article, Cyndi threw a head-banging, hand-waving asspie fit and summoned the losers who read her Transformers porn to blank this page. This resulted in a swift and just series of bans, at which point most of Cyndi's minions declared defeat and returned to masturbating with their Starscream action figures.

As we all know, every Tartlet is getting an E-Lawyer to take down ED. This time, Cyndi got her omg!hawt gay boyfriend Donny to do the work for her. Donny, or his alter ego "Z", was an evil genius that stalked the darkened halls of DA. Apparently he worked his fruity psychic bullshit through the medium of bad photomanips. It also appeared his hair is made of asbestos.

ED's days were numbered. Seriously. We had to be careful or they might have released their giant boob monster (dubbed "Boobstroya") on us all. Because there's nothing pornographic about gigantic boobs...nothing at all. She'd only crush you with her boobs to show you the beauty of love, something that she will never have. Perverted? NOOO...how dare you suggest!

Her Reaction To Operation Crapfic Purge

File:Cyndibawww.JPG

A single silver tear rolls down her cheek. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!

File:Poembaww.jpg

pining for a truck.

In response to Cyndi's cyber-terrorist threats against ED, several patriotic EDiots braved the putrid swamp that is her DA account and reported her shitty fanfiction for the lulz.
When her porn was deleted Cyndi was true to form and reacted with major butthurt. As did over 9000 times before, Cyndi retreated to her hugbox to cry and threatened to leave DA forever. Second verse, same as the first, folks.
Cyndi then continued to progress through the five stages of ED article grief. Eager to show us how hard she was rollin' with the punches, she created a subforum on her Transformers porn site dedicated to mocking ED. Here Cyndi produced such brutal burns as "enfuckopedia cuntmatica" and "i wish i could stab their eyes out with pencils". It was public for only a few hours before Cyndi realized it was just more fodder for lulz and removed it in shame.
Cyndi now entered has apparently past the delete fucking everything stage and tried to avoid showing any evidence of her stupidity on the interwebs while moving from blog to blog. Her chances of succeeding are very low, seeing as she's too retarded to come up with screen names anywhere that aren't her own lame name or a failed l33t version of ambrosia "4mbrosia" monicker. Her current blog has been quiet for over a year now. She has moved on to one we can't find or has ceased bawwing in public. Only time will tell.
Right now she is focusing on ignoring comments in the hopes the trolls stay away. Poor baby.
Note: She isn't as much of an LOLcow as she used to be, but potential lulz between her and Realmrsoptimusprime might erupt at any moment if Bonita tries to plagiarize any of Cyndi's writing.

Journals of BAAAAW

Cyndi's journal was a treasure trove of bad porn, unintentional humor and utter insanity. Do you want suicide threats? Ruminations on what Transformers look like as they orgasm? Amazing unwarranted self-importance as Cyndi compared herself to one the greatest artists in history? Fantasies of drowning internet service people in shit and menstrual blood?

She had it, baby!

Journals of BAAAAW About missing Pics

• 
  Cyndi flips and stabs herself in the leg when her internet connection dies...
• 
  ... but is saved by her fanfic character. Drown in her menstrual blood, assfucks!
• 
  How dare you mock me for posting Optimus Prime's "O" face!
• 
  Asspies are the next stage of evolution! Orgasming Transformers are art!

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Cyndi compares herself to Michelangelo, and her fic to the Sistine Chapel.
• 
  Cyndi might kill herself with cough medicine. Only your comments can save her!
• 
  Daddy still grounds Cyndi-- at over 9000 years old.
• 
  Fuck my friends & family for interfering with my precious fanfiction time!
• 
  Cyndi takes a break from torturing her dog to rage against the DA machine & trolls.
• 
  Mom bought the wrong sheets? Meltdown!
• 
  Fuck you Mother's Day! Making me pull my hair out!
• 
  Fuck you Dad! Fuck you world! Fuck you mouthwash!
• 
  Fuck you DA! Deleting my Porno!
• 
  Fuck you DA! Deleting my porno!
• 
  Fuck you DA! Not letting me post my porn!
• 
  Fuck you DA! Not letting me break the rules!
• 
  Fuck you DA! I do what I want!
• 
  Fuck you DA! Banning me for being a dumbass!
• 
  Fuck you 4chan! For being 4chan!
• 
  Fuck you fansheep! Get banned with me!
• 
  Fuck you! You don't read my porn right!
• 
  Why do you hate machines in love?! WHY?
• 
  Impressed meaning repulsed?
• 
  Almost 30 ≠ adult.
• 
  How dare anyone eat her cereal.
• 
  ASSPIE RAEG someone droped her Unicron toy baw
• 
  u maed her meltdown OHNOEZ RAAAAEG!
• 
  In which ED drives Cyndi to drink.
• 
  Summary: I may be a socially retarded drunken emo loser, but at least I look SEW YOONEEK!!1!
• 
  Cyndi just can't take it anymore.
• 
  Nonsensical emo poetry sucks so bad. WE'RE BUMS!!1!
• 
  The kind that gathers information or the kind on skin. (She communicates so clearly!)
• 
  HOW DAER INCURANCE MESS WIT HER MEDS
• 
  fuck tech
• 
  Going into a fit over a cartoon character.
• 
  Sickest thing ever.
• 
  her lief is so horrid omg liek pity her brb crying nao
• 
  How dare anybody celebrate her country's independence!
• 
  Cyndi can't find new clothes because of fat people.
• 
  bawwww, my day isnt going my way
• 
  Cyndi is NOT RACIST, but Mexican people are troublesome.
• 
  BAAAW My fat hick father who I hate is on the internet and I'm going to admit this is the set of balls from which I've spawned.
• 
  the gov't ruined her thanksgivng.
• 
  you are inconsidarate if you die during the holodays hohum as if anybody cna contril death.
• 
  she wants pity and FUCK YOU IF YOU LUAGH THIS IS HER LYFE!!!!!!!
• only retards like her aparently. a tweet and a new blog all in one bawwwwww.
  only retards like her aparently. a tweet and a new blog all in one bawwwwww.
• "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.."
  "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.."

Tweets of bawwwww

Briefly, Cyndi decided to broadcast her faggotry minute by minute using twitter (located HERE.) DEAD NOW. She bawwwed up to the minute from her new undeserved cell phone. Of course its commonly known fact that 99.9% of Twitter is full of egotistical faggots who think every single moment of their lives is worth digital note. Cyndi was no exception as she was Queen of Planet Aspie and you shall now be glorious audience to her almighty Vagina. Trolls capped often she deleted shit a lot.

tweets of baww About missing Pics

• 
  my dad took me out and i'm still gonna bitch about the stupid christmas tree. ever so greatful isn't she.
• 
  Nobody cares, quick call the wahmbulance!!!
• 
  fuck you for eating into my writing time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
• 
  she cant take teh truth her dad dishes out.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  bawwwing becuase she had to wait 2 minutes.
• 
  omg pity her toothache hurry its worse than her crusty vag
• Cyndi is a bitch
  Cyndi is a bitch

Tendency to TMI

Following the previous bit that proved how self centered Cyndi is, she thought her fucking bowel movements were the height of public interest. So interesting she gave us too_much_info as she tapped out journals and tweets pertaning to her periods, her shit, her farts, her snot, her gyno visits and masterbation habits are all lovingly sprinkled in between her journals of bawwwww. She made sure she documented her bodily functons for the world to see and had the balls to whine when people made fun of her for it. We guess she expected us all to think such things were natural and beautiful and worth reading about because she knew her worthless life was more boring than plate techtonics. Let's take a look at some of her literary genius...

Examples of TMI About missing Pics

• 
  Tweeting about my Shit
• 
  My Farts? Update Worthy
• 
  Classy, tell us about the time you shat in a bag.
• 
  You don't say

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  She sounds so proud of it, the hag.
• 
  "BAAAAWWW THESE ARENT THE RIGHT PADS I BAAAWWW"
• 
  ew
• 
  The queen of charm, even at home.
• irony
  irony

Artwork

Like everyone else on Deviantart, Cyndi can't draw worth shit and knows it. Her art is mostly of naked DBZ characters colored with pencils that have to be from the early 70's. All of her drawings not done digitally have a strange blue green quality to them and are full of jpeg artifacts.

Galleria of Cyndilovespiccolo's Artwork About missing Pics

• 
  Like all Catholics, Cyndi loves CP.
• 
  RAGE RAGE RAGE
• 
  In Cyndi's mind, Unicron = Angelina Jolie.
• 
  one of her shitty namik oc's.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Portrait of the Artist
• 
  A man shitting himself
• 
  A unicorn, perhaps?
• 
  Freddy Kruger? Darth Vader?
• 
  Godzilla! Noooo
• 
  "Female Pain"
• 
  Cyndi is not like you, can you hear her screams?
• 
  Truly the next Michelangelo.
• 
  LAIS-- Cyndi is in a constant state of PMS.
• 
  Cyndi drew this picture of "Godzilla's Wife" when she was ten. It's sad to think that her art hasn't improved.
• 
  Decked out like a taxi cab mirror = art.

Cyndi's Limitless Wisdom

	“	I love that show Storm Chasers---if I could work, THAT would be what I'd do.	„
	—You have Austism, you aren't missing all of your limbs.

	“	BRB crying in the bathroom again.	„
	—- Cyndi's answer to everything in life.

	“	Whoever was spamming me needs to get a life.	„
	—BAW

	“	I took a poop in a trash bag today because it was either there or in my pants.	„
	—Clearly she is a classy lady.

	“	FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK! SO NOT FAIRRRRRRRRRR!	„
	—Her cry to everything bad that hapens to her.

	“	Jealous fuckers need to get a life.	„
	—Words of wisdom v. 2.0

	“	I don't want another stupid fiasco about blurry lines between porn and erotica.	„
	—Still hasn't learned.

	“	Anybody that judges me based on ED is an idiot who doesn't deserve the honor of my presence.	„
	—oh lol

	“	Ambrosia isn't porn, it's erotica! Why? THEY ARE IN LOVE!	„
	—zomg love makes it not pronz, so obvious!!

	“	Encyclopedia Dramatica is full of people with shit for brains.	„
	—bawwww

	“	Autism does not equal being retarded. GET IT RIGHT!	„
	—She is not proving that very well, is she?

	“	I feel like nobody in my house has any sympathy for me when I want it.	„
	—you dont deserve it.

	“	I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING RAT'S ASS FUCK THAT SOMEBODY ELSE HAS IT WORSE. IN THE MOMENT WHATEVER THE ISSUE IS, IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD TO ME!!!! ALL I ASK FOR IS A LITTLE SYMPATHY OR A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP COMMENT, AND INSTEAD I GET SLAPPED DOWN AND MADE TO FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR WASTING AIR IN THIS SHITHOLE OF A UNIVERSE!!! WHEN I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT IT'S ME LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO RELATE. THAT'S HARD TO DO FOR SOMEBODY WHO IS AUTISTIC AND CAN BARELY COMMUNICATE VERBALLY.	„
	—OMG SOMEBODY QUIK MAKE IT BETER!

	“	People wonder what the seat of all my anger at the world is, THERE YOU GO. FUCK YOU IF YOU LAUGH AT IT. IT'S MY LIFE!	„
	—like she has one.

	“	PEOPLE WHO DIE ON A HOLIDAY ARE FUCKING INCONSIDERATE FOR RUINING THE JOY!	„
	—boohoooooo so inconsiderate to think people are inconsiderate.

	“	IF ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON BOTHERS ME TODAY I AM GOING TO CUT A BITCH!	„
	—ohnoez

	“	ow dare you call my lying on the floor, gasping for air "dramatics." How fucking DARE you tell me to grow up and the heat isn't that bad. HOW DARE YOU threaten to take the computer away if I didn't get up and stop crying! FUCK YOU!	„
	—way to be a crybaby...

	“	Fuck my LIFE always being miserable!	„
	—cuz nobody has it worse than her rite?

	“	And there is an idiot there who thinks I can do something about a poor girl whose boyfriend set her hair on fire and killed her. Well I'm way over on the other side of the country, what do you expect me to do for her? I can't save this fucking world, I can only live in it with the hand I was dealt, and I got a bad one is all. So fuck off.	„
	—stfu and get a life srsly.

	“	The impossible seems to strike me at the most inopportune moments to cause me humiliation, anger or just plain make me look BAD in front of people. FATE does this. ALL THE FUCKING DAMN TIME!!!	„
	—no hon you do that all by yourself.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

File:Mackersagainlulz.jpg

She is so graceful and beutiful and we are so evil for spreading the truth. Curtesy of user:mackers_luvs_u and his many sock accounts. Only other retards stick up for Cyndi.

See Also

• Chris-chan
• Realmrsoptimusprime
• M._Chaos
• Transformers
• mechanophilia
• weaboo
• anorexia
• attention whore
• bawwwwwwwwwww
• fail

External Links

bitch is everywere

(Note: Useless/locked shit has been and will be removed to save space. Holy fuck, we don't need another Snapesnogger sized article on this useless bitch. Srsly.) Wanna find older shit? Go look at the history page. Pages marked dead or abandoned will get taken off again for spacial reasons. You only got lulz if you trolled where she's active.

• ~*AMBROSIA*~ The long-winded lulzy masterpiece, out in public at last. Now the only problem is actually wading through that shit.

*HER TWITTER POTENTIALLY LULZY, SCREENCAP ANY BAWWW TWEETS YOU SEE, BECAUSE SHE OFTEN DELETES HER BAWWW TWEETS LATER. DEAD

*BLOG ZOMG Looks inactive now.

• Cyndilovespiccolo Not worth much now, but it's where the drama started.

• 4mbrosia She can't block you here. Troll the fuck out of it.

* Her Myspace private again. BAWWWW! INACTIVE

*Shitty Transformers music videos Madonna? Enya? Srsly, wtf... DEAD

• Her Mediaminer For more of her shitty writing.

• Fandom Wank's weak attempt at mocking Cyndi. -- It gets slightly funnier when Cyndi and her EX-friend Seiberwing show up to defend her honor and BAWWWW in the comments.

-It looks like Cyndi and Seiberwing aren't on speaking terms anymore because of ED. Seiberwing has been seen around fanficrants bashing her work. Lol.

It is safe to say Cyndi is too retarded to come up with any user names beyond her own name or the moniker 4mbrosia which is failed l337.

Cyndilovespiccolo is part of a series on DeviantART Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

Cyndilovespiccolo is part of a series on Aspies.

[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...] Cyndilovespiccolo is part of a series on FanFiction

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Featured article July 5, 2008
Preceded by Scientology Agents	Cyndilovespiccolo	Succeeded by Wikigroaning