WisCon

“	One of the panelists at some point brings out these giant, supported black fabric-covered wedges called "facilitators". Apparently they are cushions that can be be adjusted to "facilitate" fat on fat sex, when, for instance, the bellies would otherwise squish together so much that normal penetration may not be possible. In the photo, a panelist shows off her fat sex facilitators to a female-to-male transgendered observer:	„
—Snipped from the list of horrors that the OP endured.

WisCon

On May 24, 2008, a Something Awful goon by the name of Rachel Moss attended WisCon, a feminist Sci-Fi convention (that caters to morbidly obese women and trannies, not kidding) in Wisconsin. She brought a camera, took a lot of pictures and shared them in a quickly goldmined thread on SA, resulting in much lulz.

Then the attendees of the convention found out, causing an out-of-control lollercoaster. Rachel was then stricken with troll's remorse, and had the thread taken down, to which SASS decided to show SA how to troll feminists properly and set off a lolcano of heifer rage and blimping out.

	“	Let me make sure you understand. Rachel Moss paid $45 to attend a convention for the express purpose of stirring up shit and making a nasty post on the web (not to mention leaving nasty notes). She secretly took pictures of people. She made fun of “fat” people. She decided who is POC and who isn’t. She called a 9 year old boy a pussy while naming his mother, thereby naming him. All for the lols.	„
	—The Angry Black Woman

Needless to say, there was much butthurt caused by all of this. Fatties everywhere immediately shared their anger and grief on their LiveJournals, quaking like a jello mold and a few took it upon themselves to stop shoveling lard into their cavernous mouths to engage in some internet detectivery. This wasn't particularly hard, as Rachel is a downsie who shared all of her dox on the internet and ran a LiveJournal. As soon as they discovered that Rachel Moss was a reverse fatty, they latched on to this tidbit like they would a case of frosted Twinkies. They also located Rachel's dox, harassing her over the phone with death threats and insults, tried to get her expelled from college, and broke into her work office to leave hate notes torn from WisCon programming pages. Throughout all the clamor, none of these fat female hogs heard the sound of the Internet Hate Machine being fired up in the distance. The thread in SASS exploded past 25 pages instantly after the angry pack of morbidly obese women discovered it, with a weak attempt on their part to flood the thread with pictures of kittens and puppies and some gay porn. SASS replied to the flood attempt by flooding their own forum with pain and pics of corpses, which effectively ended what was described as the most pathetic board invasion in SASS history. Sad to say, the only member of the WisCon community that managed to get image tags working for the invasion was a 38-year old "male" RPG-enthusiast by the name of jhkim, who also tried to blank ED's SASS page a few times before failing at that too. For the record, his last edit on this page was captioning the picture of him with his gimpwife from "Pussy" to "Gay, Unicorn-loving Pussy". That edit can stay.

Normally, even drama of this caliber usually dies down after a few days, but there are so many enraged fat women with blogs that they've declared war.

	“	After having to deal with much worse people throwing that word at me more times than I can count in a small span of time, I suppose I have some strength left to roll my eyes at this shit. Someone’s using my picture as their avatar with the words 100% Nigger atop. Oh good. They really, really don’t know who I am, do they? They are about to find out.	„
	—some fat nigger

	“	No, T, they do not know who you are. As for their being about to find out, I am almost sorry for them. Almost.	„
	—Littlem, SERIOUS BUSINESS.

"Take my picture, and post it online, in as many high traffic places as you can muster"

Other Horrors at the Con

The males who thought it'd be a good idea to attend Heiferfest 2008, had no idea they had to deal with sharing the same shitters as the diseased cattle attending.

Most of the panels seem to have been about how oppressed women are, ironically while not caring about the poor chair(s) underneath them that was handling their payload. Enabling the female attendees were complete pansy-assed faggot males who "apologized" for the privilege they enjoy in modern society. Soon after everyone agreed that while they were a putrid bag of fail on the outside, everyone was a pretty pretty princess on the inside. The stampede to the buffet was next where they shared their hopes, dreams, and fecal coliforms.

The Aftermath

The WisCon attendees apparently brought cholera with them (the local health department suspects that it was spread by a disgusting porker not washing her diarrhea-covered hands before parking in front of the buffet and covering the food with her shit). Reports state that the manager of the Concourse Hotel, where the convention was hosted, had to bring in a CDC Level III HazMat team to expunge every trace of bovine plague infection after the convention was over. It's unknown where the next WisCon will be held, but it'd be a nice friendly gesture to inform the next hotel of what they're in for should they decide to be the host.

The Inevitable Backlash

Angry Black Woman, Fatty Negress

The Angry Black Woman, also known as Tempest, considers herself to be a very famous blogger. She plans to use her e-fame to destroy SASS, SA, and the Hostess Fruit Pie display at her local convenience store. She's even physically threatened Rachel Moss, presumably by sitting on her. UPDATE: In a true display of nigger work ethic, she abandoned her lofty plans of destroying SASS with posts of tens of kittens within hours, returning to her hugbox and food stamps and presumably reconnecting her IV unit of Crisco. EXCRA! EXCRA!: Ms. K. Tempest Bradford has used Computer Science III in order to obtain the IP addresses of up to all 5 members of SASS, including supposedly the workplace of one noble SASSillian, threatening to make him as unemployed as herself. SASS quaked in fear and has issued this press release in an attempt at reconciliation:

“

Dear Mrs. Nigger:

We people at the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (HEREINAFTER REFERRED AS "SASS" ) are anxiously awaiting for your no holds barred chimp out since page 19 of this prestigious publication, and it's in our best interests if you climb down that tree you call home and execute your ridiculous performance ASAP so we can point and laugh at your jiggly fat flaps trembling with "ape rage" or whatever you niggers call that jungle act where you try to emulate human beings by thrashing and destroying things.

Don't make me angry, worthless fat woman.

Cheers.

„

—SASS

Having received some anonymous taunting on her blog, Angry Black Woman's reader base had heard legends of "Anonymous" destroying multi-national corporations, bankrupting enemies and doing WTC. Warning that her yellow van and family-sized buckets of chicken may be in jeopardy, they convinced her that posting IP addresses of anonymous LJ posters maybe was too risky for an anti-racist crusader. Rosa Parks would be proud.

More Thoughtful Responses

Ampersand wants you to know that telling a fat hog of a woman that she's a fat hog of a woman is hurtful and mean. Shame on you.

The Gaiafag known as Badgerbag feels nothing but pity for Rachel, and wants to help her get past the completely normal and human behavior of being disgusted by sweaty, smelly lardasses.

Moondancer, the mother of the 9-year old pussy (that she named Raistlin, I shit you not) who constantly gets beaten up by his sister, has stated that Rachel is damn lucky that Moondancer hasn't whipped out a scary, magical spell on her.

	“	Wow. What a weekend. Amazing. I learned alot about myself, my fellow man (and woman), racism, environmentalism, sexuality, gender identity.... And Hatred.	„
	—adriandrake, DUN DUN DUNNN

	“	As far as her returning again, I hope not. We know what she looks like, and I doubt many of us will be near forgiveness by then, and many will NEVER forget her verbal rape of our community.	„
	—Moondancer, after beating her 9 year old pussy son

	“	It's totally hilarious to see a bunch of dork ass little internet geeks, dickweed racists probably too wussy for an actual racist organization, talking it up on an anonymous forum like they're all gangster tough.	„
	—Badgerbag, an ugly cripple who is coming to beat up Anonymous

	“	This is the last time I'm going to post about this idiocy...I have better things to think about.	„
	—clairelight, who posted again five hours later. Yeah, she's SO over it LOL

	“	Somewhere in the WisCon community there must be a lawyer or two. Someone with push and clout needs to take legal action against the site hosting this nest of hate mongers. I have a hard time believing what they are doing is legal. Someone needs to do something to get this taken down before it hurts any more people.	„
	—stillnotbored, not entirely clear on how e-lawsuits work

Several other attendees are also currently in the market for a lawyer, in order to sue the entire internets for laughing at them. As if they weren't already hypocritical enough, the only persons who committed any actual crimes are the fatties.

As mentioned before, some of the hambeasts are planning a retaliation against SASS and SA, but they're probably too busy eating to get around to it. Final Update: The fatties got together and made a huge fuss over having IP addresses of their critics and how the internet is not a game. Apparently somebody told them about this thing called a proxy, so they gave up and went back to worshiping their fake fat goddess. SASS 1, Fatties 0.

And Finally...

	“	Your constant need to stuff cupcakes in your mouth, your pathetic harassment of doctors with your fake disorders because no one else will pay attention to you, the laughable "multicultural" trappings you take on because some distant ancestor of yours came from another culture, your need to be a unique "genderqueer" snowflake are all symptoms of your sick minds. Your kind often complains about "invisibility" but the truth is that you want to be invisible, because when people look at you and react to you in a natural way you are outraged by their disgust. They aren't bad people because they are disgusted, you are a bad person because you are disgusting. All Rachel Moss did to you was show you as you are, you have no one to blame for who you are but yourselves.	„
	—The Truth

GREAT UNITED BLIMPWORKS GALLERY

The only item "she" picked up at WisCon that didn't end up getting eaten.
Massage is tough when there's 7 inches of fat to work through.
A heated debate over which fast food french fries are superior
A horse is a horse of course of course
She's just 'big-boned'...
Clothing sizes L to 10X. Ten. Fucking. X.
Pigs of Prey
This is what a radical Muslim feminist looks like!
This is what a radical Muslim feminist looks like free of the yoke of the racist white patriarchy!
Typical WisCon "female".
It's not our fault, ITS GLANDULAR DAMMIT!!
Space Moose depiction of the feminist backlash
SASS dramatically reenacts a probable contact between a WisCon attendant & Rachel's employer.
How feces got introduced into WisCon's food troughs unnoticed.
Fuck; condolences.
Be careful about what you wish for...
...you might just get it.
This just in: Red is NOT 'slimming'.
He came for all the hawt chix (and to deal Jenkem).
Typical WisCon couple. "Genderfuck", LOL.
Blogger KTempest shows off her abs
Appetizer plates can ruin even the most carefully planned photoshoots
Is is a bird? Is it a plane? No. It is some LOL
Tried and failed to blank ED's SASS page. Pussy.