User:Shishikabob/Cats draft
We've all heard the term bronies by now. The Brony Community is made up of mostly adult males who love the 2010 reboot of My Little Pony. Many of these males cosplay, make art and plushies, and even masturbate to the colorful ponies they see on the screen. As strange as they might seem to most people, they actually look normal compared to the desperate user on this page. Be prepared fellow reader for you are about to enter a world of much drama, attention whoring, and enough lulz to feed third world countries for years. You are about to enter the realm of Yelling at Cats.
BULLSHIT - That's Sounding Good
Things in the early days of Pony Central were quite good. The weirdos, the cloppers and the cray-crays all got alone quite well. Enter the fearless admin: Twilight S, aka Yelling at Cats Desperate to earn friends he started off as the kind hearted web master who claimed to love all, and only want what was best for his website. Later, he revealed his true colors as the hypocritical douchebag that he really is. It wasn't uncommon for him to run such shenanigans as starting a topic lecturing his peoples not to bully, only weeks later to "troll" random people on facebook, (by which we mean he'd tell them about how much he loved cock) screencapping the faggatory and posting it, hoping to earn praise to compensate for his obvious short man syndrome.
Months went by and now and then Cats would post about how he had no money and need a second job to buy a new microphone and other recording equipment. Shortly after collecting donations for a brony event he had planned to set up, he suddenly was able to afford these things and more. Proving bronies aren't as stupid as they look, suspicious moderators began to question Cats about how he got the money, rightfully worried he was spending donations set aside for this "event" and the site for his own selfish needs. Our dear honest friend confirmed that he had not taken the donation money to buy equipment for his dope raps, but had no explanation as to where the money came from. When asked to provide any sort of proof or receipts to what the donations were going toward, the best he could come up with was a poor quality cropped image showing the paypal balance. As any idiot could see through these lies, the admins at Pony Central asked kindly that he produce either receipts or a screenshot showing the recent history in paypal. Cats, clearly unable to do so, threw a royal fit, literally running away with his tail between his legs. He only offered a refund to those who asked personally, trying to avoid many people by deleting his account and, very slowly paying them back over time. After getting ostracized from the community at pony central he decided to start his own treefort: Canterlot.net
Sometimes I Can Never Catch a Clue
As fate would have it, unicode characters were allowed in usernames on the shitty software used to run Kyle's forum, so angry Crook Forcers took it upon themselves to do God's work by manipulating information out of the simpleton bronies. Cats, or possibly one of his "staff members", believed there to be a legitimate security threat after one account began to promote the benefits of the homosexual lifestyle. Because he was too stupid to figure out the fake account wasn't in the admin or mod group (which anyone can see by looking at the picture on the right), the following message was produced whenever anyone attempted to access the site till the next day.
To Top It All Off, You Remove Me from the Forum Cause the Way I Fucking Act is Offensive to You?
Shortly after that nonsense, Phoxxy Pwny (now banned for having one too many temper tantrums), Dis and other moderators decided Cats wasn't active enough on the forums to deserve being in charge anymore. Instead of working out a plan with Cats, they decided the best course of action would be to simply take the forum away from him when he was sleeping. This means Cats might be one of the few bronies mutinied upon even by his own kind. After switching the forum software to VBulletin software to avoid anymore strange hackings, Phoxxy Pwny babysat the forum for a few days until Cats found out about how even his own staff abandoned him. It was then that he threw another fit, tearing down the site starting a chain of events that lead to a hilarious struggle for power.
—Phoxxy Pwny proving nothing gets past him. | ||
After changing servers and domain names over 9000 times, the lulz stopped when an agreement was written up on google docs that everyone involved had to agree to. Yes, that's true, they actually had to write up an agreement in order to stop the drama and butthurt. Cats has since resigned as an admin from the site, but still shows up occasionally to insult the members, further ostracizing himself and join a discussion about tits and ass
My Raps Go Harder than a Clopper's Erection
Yelling at Cats is a caucasian brony and aspiring rap artist looking to make it big in the music industry, despite lacking the much needed tint in skin pigment. He receives daily phone calls from members of NCF and other upstanding citizens for his faggotry. As an Aspergers victim he just can't take a hint and decides to fight back with expected results.
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War on NCF
Kyle went widely unnoticed, till he had the wonderful idea to make a "rap" calling out known trolls of the Niggest Crook Force, which fortunately, delivered him the much needed attention.
Official reaction
Yo Everfree, Ya Alright?
But the lolercoaster was just getting started. Due to his amazing rap skills, Cats was invited to perform at a Brony Convention called Everfree Northwest. The question was would his ability to create drama and unpleasantness everywhere he went on the internet follow him in real life? Yes, yes it did.
Apparently having absolutely no clue on how to act in public and amongst fellow fans, he spent most of his time trying to flirt with other girls, harassing other con goers and making everyone and anyone he came in contact with feel downright awkward.
—a sane brony. | ||
To add insult to injury, he clearly had no idea how to put on a performance. You can watch the train wreck here. After being introduced as a special performer, he meows at the crowd which is followed by awkward silence from him, a "How are you guys doing" then some more awkward silence and then a "yeah" and... more awkward silence. The best part of the performance happens about 10 minutes after his set begins as he breaks out into a song which contains cynicism, drugs, and (really not kidding here) necrophilia. (This is the song in question for those curious) May we remind everyone reading that this is a convention for My Little Pony. After one verse the audio technicians decided enough was enough, cut the power to the microphones, leaving him standing there confused, and kicking him off the stage at the end of the song.
Still not catching on that this was all his own fault, he went on the /mlp/ board of 4chan shortly afterwards to make this post in question to why he wasn't around the convention anymore.
Fortunately, F3nning, another fellow Brony musician, had his bullshit meter filled past the brim, and created a gigantic post on tumblr exposing Yelling at Cats for the lying scum he is (see right). While it may seem TL;DR at first, it is at least worth a once over as it explains how everything that went wrong was actually Cats own fault. The more the post was reblogged, the more other musicians and various other bronies began to come out to express how they had had enough from Cats and he needs to wisen the fuck up for once in his existence.
—Alex-S | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
You Locked me Up Good and Left Me Sitting in the Darkest Cell
The reaction didn't come swiftly, as one would think, but rather a few weeks later in the form of a wave file. He starts off by talking about how he's just been lying around in his apartment, hardly ever leaving except to get food to survive. He then goes on to tell his side of the story of the events that happened at Everfree, yet no where does he mention who the large drunk man was, or address any of the harassing or flirting he did. He then begs people to stop kicking him when he's down because he can't take it, dammit!
You can find the wave file here Eager fans of his swallowed this explanation, some even defending him saying he had done nothing wrong.
The wav file is over 20 minutes long and no one wants to listen to it anyway, but there is one part of it your humble author would like to emphasize before moving out to the next section. Toward the end of the file, Cats rambles on about how he doesn't want to be seen as evil anymore. He wants to have friends in the fandom, and put all the nonsense behind him.
"I'm tired of being labeled as a cynical, narcissistic, bigoted, egotistical, monster who strives on nothing but misfortune for others. That's not true. ... I said that I would change for the better. I don't like being like this. I wanna have friends in the community. I don't want to be this ... But fuck me. Most of you don't believe me. I know that actions speak louder than words, and I'll fucking prove it. ... All I can say to those who don't believe me, you think I'm just going to be some asshole for the rest of my life and that I'll never change? That I don't recognize what I did? Just sit back and watch. I've said my side. Now just sit back and watch."
I'm the Aftermath of Every Sin my Father Bore
So imagine you're Yelling at Cats. You've just told an entire community that you're going to change for the better, be a nice guy and how you want for everyone to just watch as you improve. What will you do? What will you do? You probably wouldn't do what Cats did.
On November 29th Cats received a message from a fan of his on facebook named Collin, asking him for advice on how to become a decent brony musician. The message actually read, "How do I become popler like you" which would be enough for most people to come to the conclusion that the person they're dealing with is possibly autistic. But not Cats, no sir. Rather than use this as a perfect opportunity to prove how much he had changed over the past few months, he sank to a whole new level of low even for the internet's standards. After posting on /mlp/ (it's his home you know) about how he hates having to put up with this shit every day, he then invited the willing autistic kid into a Skype conversation that he broadcasted for all of /mlp/ via his livestream.
He then proceeded to embarrass, mock and manipulate poor Collin, tricking him into saying terrible things and doing humiliating actions. Also included was Cats lying to him and telling him he worked for Equestria Daily, and how he was going to make a special banner just for him. He also told Collin how interested he was in collabing with him and how all of his brony musician buddies would like to as well. All the while doing this he was laughing along with the /mlp/ idiots as if they achieved some kind of victory for tricking an unsuspecting autistic. Truly the actions of a man wanting to change his ways for the better.
While at first most of /mlp/ compared what happened to incidents with Chris Chan, reasonable people realized that unlike Chris Chan, Collin is not racist, homophobic, abusive, lazy, sexist, desperate, ugly or anything nearly as bad as Chris Chan is, and denounced their actions. Meanwhile a handful of people at /mlp/ actually regretted taking part in what had just occurred.
Videos of the escapade began circling around and though a few were removed from youtube, these two still remain. The sound in the second video is absolutely atrocious as you can hear some moron's laughter over the entire video, but it's worth posting anyway.
Meanwhile, Yelling at Cats, the man who begged everyone to believe how he was going to change his life for the better and not strive on the misfortune of others, went about his night showing no remorse whatsoever, until a blog on tumblr called him out for being the asshole that he is.
Damage Control aka WHAT WENT WRONG?
Having been called out for being a complete and total douchebag, yet again, Cats decided, yet again, to do what he did best. Damage control. After being told off by several of his close friends, he soon posted a huge apology on twitlonger, in hopes that the event would be swept under the rug. He even tried to play the pity card almost demanding what was left of his fanbase to unsubscribe to him.
Of course those who have seen the same song and dance at least 100 times now know better than to believe this shit. It is also worth pointing out how he claims to want to make this up to Collin as his friend, but he has made no attempt to contact Collin since the apology, yet he still has time to play video games, post kittens on facebook and work on his music. An honest man who truly wants to change, or an asshole performing damage control? It's pretty obvious what this is.
Kyle's father
Greg Escue is a depressed, lonely man. Depressed that his wife left him for a better life, Greg has gone further and deeper into the closet with every passing year. He has admitted during several telephone conferences, that he would gladly suck the genitals of another man, if given the opportunity. He has also shamelessly made series of verbal attacks on 9/11 victims, as well as US servicemen.
See also
- Sethisto - His idol
- hann - Another lying wigger that everybody hates
YellingAtCats
TwilightTheDicktator- Yelling At Cats' official BandCamp page
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Shishikabob/Cats draft is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
