Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17
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Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 AIDS researchers that was either shot down by retarded russian-speaking Ukrainian Rebels parading Putin's military equipment or an accident committed by the Ukrainian Military or a false flag-operation by the government of Ukraine to incriminate their domestic insurgency. The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.
Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane. They thought about hijacking and pulling a 9/11 but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care. Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt. Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself. Others believe Israel did it to distract people from their attack on Gaza just like how JEWS DID WTC.
Everyone is wrong. Pilot Parker crashed the fucking plane.
Passengers
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298 people fell to their fiery deaths. Of them, 80 were children (sadly, no manchildren). 189 were Dutch, 44 Malaysians, 27 Aussies, 12 from Indonesia, 9 Britfags, 4 Krauts, 4 from Belgium, 3 Pinoys, one lonely Canadian, an Americunt/Pindos, and a Kiwi if that even counts as a human. 4 are still unverified. This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from Parts Unknown.
AIDS Researchers
Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne. This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia. Devout members of the Westboro Baptist Church are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along. Ironically, Russia happened to be 13th place in the world in terms of AIDS victim, making it look like they shot themselves when playing Russian roulette with their foot.
Lightning Strikes Twice
An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17!. Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight. By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.
Theories
As with anything that involves politics, war, and death, a number of conspiracy theories have surfaced.
Numbers Theory
The Prime number 17 was called by the Pythagoreans – opposition, obstruction, evil, and the day the Devil triumphed over God.
Malaysia Airlines flight #MH17, a Boeing 777 is shot down on 17/7/14 apparently after being built 17 years ago. Perhaps this speech in the video above, this occult message was an order given to whomever by her to shoot this plane down as maybe a sacrifice or a false flag to further their goals? If you dont understand the connection watch the video first then you will get it. It also had 295 people on board. 2+9+5 = 16 1+6 = 7.
Reporter said flight departure was 11:14 (1+1+1+4=7) and to arrive at 06:10 (6+1=7)
First Flight: 17 July 1997 Last Flight: 17 July 2014 Age: 17 Years
295 people gone.
295 = 5 * 59 59 = 17th Prime Number 17 = 7th Prime Number, this just keeps getting weirder and weirder…
Pilot Parker
Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll. Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure. Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine. Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery. It appears that Pilot Parker's presence were the source of rumours that Pedobear himself had been killed in the explosion. Such reports were greatly exaggerated however, Pedobear is in fact alive and well and currently headed to the Ukraine to rape the dead babies.
—Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines. | ||
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The original tweet. -
Soon to be starring in his own movie. -
Pilot Parker ejected early and has been spotted vacationing in Malacca.
Bad Vlad
—Case closed |
In a desperate attempt to place the blame on anyone but the ragtag militia he's been funneling money and mercenaries to, Vladimir Putin announced that his presidential plane had been flying in the same air-zone less than a half hour before MH17 went down. Clearly, the Ukraine Army were trying to assassinate him and instead hit a commercial airliner. After realizing their mistake, the Ukraine hacked the Twitter account of a militia general and announced that he had taken down what he thought was an AN-26 Military Cargo plane. In a cunning display of social engineering, the Ukraine then deleted that tweet to make it look as if the General had posted it on accident. At the same time, they released a completely fake intercepted telephone conversation between militants and their Russian contacts, taking blame for the accident. To nail the coffin shut on this obvious false flag, Ukraine intelligence officers had also hacked the twitter accounts of several militants and posted pictures of them standing next to the BUK that was used to shoot down MH17.
tl;dr - Putin did nothing wrong.
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Just downed an AN-26 in Torez region, lying somewhere near the Progress mine. We warned them - no flying in our sky. -
The Rebels claiming their kill on their twitter feed showing off the BUK that they used to shoot down the plane, clearly planted there by Ukraine spies. -
Another image of the BUK used to shoot down MH17, before Ukraine spies drove it back to Kiev. -
Militants have never had possession of a BUK and this month old photograph is the work of hackers.
Translation: 17.07.2014 about 16:20 terrorists lead by "Bes" (citizen of Russian Federation I. Bezler) used russian SAM to take down civil aircraft model "Boing 777" that belonged to Malaysian airline company "Malaysia Airlines" that was performing flight Amsterdam - kuala lumpur About 16:40 "Bes" has reported about shot down aircrasft to his superior - colonel GERANIN VASILIY MIKOLAYEVICH - of Main Reconassence Agency Bes - "A plane has just been shot down. "Miner's" group did it. It fell down a bit further of Enakievo" Heranin "Pilots - where are pilots?" Bes: "Gone to search for and take pictures of the aircraft taken down. Smoking..." Heranin: "How much minutes ago?" Bes "About 30 minutes ago" After looking around of crash site terrorists have come to conclusion that they had taken down a civil aircraft Conversation between "Major" and "Hrek: follows: Hrek: "Yes, Major!" Major: "So chernuhinskie guys took down the plane. From Chernuhino block-post. The cossaks that are stationed on Chernuhino" Major: "So plane fell apart in air, near Pertopoltavskaya mine. First "200" found. A civil person" Hrek: "What's going on there?" Major: "Well, fuck, it was 100% a civil aircraft" Hrek: "How many people?" Major: "Holy fuck! PArts of the plane fell in yards (meaning house yeards ) " Hrek" What kind of aircraft? Major: "I still have no clue because i wasn't near it's main part. I'm currrently looking at the place where first bodies fell" Major: "there are leftovers of internal brakets, seats, bodies Hrek: "Ane weapons?" Major: "Nothing at all. Civil things, medical things, towels, toilet paper" Hrek" Any documents?" Major: "Yes, Indonesian student. From Tompson University" Militia: "About the plane that was shot down near Snezhniy - Torez. It was a civil aircraft. It fell near Grabovo. There's a shit tonn of women and children corpses. Cossaks are now looking the place around." Militia: "They say over TV that it's a Ukranian AN-26 transport aircraft, but they say it has "Malaysian Airlines" written over it. And what did he do on Ukranian territory?" M. Kozicin: "So they were bringing in the spies. I dunno. No fucking flying around. It's war over there."
tl;dr - The pilot, passengers and dead babies were all asking for it.
Gallery
Wreckage
Misc
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Never too soon. -
Eerie final facebook status from passenger. -
4chan reaction. -
Another 4chan reaction. -
/pol/'s take on the situation. -
Adding insult to injury. -
Coming soon. -
Always a good time for life insurance. -
Wallpaper. -
Walter White on MH17. -
Another one for the trophy room. -
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
External Links
- News story
- Another news story
- Malaysian Airline Pilot Parker Cover Up
- Nutcase conspiracy theorist
- Timeline of events leading to the crash
- SBU Intercepted phone call
- aids conference website talking about their 100 loss.
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Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article July 19 & 20, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Dashcon |
Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 | Succeeded by Hungary |
