Dave Kelly

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Deli meats in its natural habitat.

Dave Kelly, also known as "Cave Deli", "The Unfunny Furfag" or "Shmorky", is a babyfur and an internet webcomic artist best known for The Flash Tub on Something Awful. His flash movies are often bad attempts at satire, such as Furious Famicom Faggot, a series which could have been a humorous sendup of Angry Nintendo Nerd but instead quickly decays into some kind of horrible quasi-surrealist mashup in which everyone dies, the mother turns into a piece of bacon, and screaming pieces of fruit appear, betraying Kelly's quickness to resort to ZANY WACKINESS and inability to script actual comedy. Most of his animations take on an acid-trip quality, and, after a while of watching them, seem to blur into an infinitely long tirade of over-the-top murder, furries, references to Nintendo, and Lowtax's shitty electronic music. Shmorky's presence on the SA creative team marked an unofficial end to Something Awful's raids against furries; goons going after the furfag who happened to be on Lowtax's payroll were quickly banned and the ones that remained took another sullen step towards the catlady hugbox Something Awful is today.

Dave Kelly is a horribly ugly emo fuck

Before he joined Something Awful he produced several comics, sometimes with the purpose of trolling particular fandoms, and sometimes with serious plotlines, often with romantic elements. Although these usually started with the best of intentions, they usually degenerated, albeit at a slower pace, similar to the cartoons he produced for Something Awful.

His so-called art style is gained from him ripping off Vaughn Bode (of lizard zen; but none of you fucks were even born then, so he can get away with it right?) and fuglying it up with a hint of anime. In an ironic twist, Dave's art was recently plagiarized by the even more unfunny Todd Goldman [1]. Many internet petitions and diggs have been wrought.

Lulzing artist

Penny Arcade exposed

Dave has made fun of nearly every fucked up thing on the internet, causing epic amounts of lulz and butthurt pussies in his wake. His list of things he has made fun of includes:

Notable works:

Typical Shmorky comic panel

Webcomic Stew: Dave giving the webcomic community a collective kick to the testicles.

Awesome Gamerz: What Penny Arcade should be.

Big Ones/Otaku Feh: Wapanese fanboys, and the webcomic Sinfest get their share of nut-punching. Caused a massive flame war with Sinfest readers and the comics creator.

Internets employment

Shmorky's art is amazing!!!

Kelly has made money off the Internet through various occupations, one of which is doing flash and ads for various sites. If you have been around long enough, you could probably remember those awesome banner ads he did for Fleshlight:

Cave Deli and Stile

A few years back, Cave Deli made an unholy business agreement with Jay Stile of Stile Project. Cave was supposed to receive 72 virgins in exchange for doing ads, banners, the Women of Stile art and the comic "Stile Sux" for Jay Stile. Unfortunately, Jay couldn't convince 72 of his readers to sell themselves to Shmorky, so he ran off with the money and had his transvestite midgets fuck Cave over the same way he did to Hard of Sexy Losers.... with a giant dildo of death.

Shmorky and Something Awful

In 2004, Shmorky joined up with SomethingAwful to do various flash cartoons for the "Flash tub". The only problem was that these once lulzy toons rapidly became as painfully unfunny as the rest of SomethingAwful. This is the side effect of being a goon.

Closet Furry

Dave is known to troll furries plenty with many of his works, particularly in "Cave Deli's SMUT!". However, it seems that he does this a little too much, and his parody of furry pr0n is suspiciously detailed and graphic. Recently, a /b/tard posted a large amount of furry porn claimed to be Dave's from 2003. To everyone's horror, the art was undeniably Dave's style in every aspect, including a picture of him in a diaper. Although Kelly claims that all of the porn he made was commission based, some of the porn is clearly of Dave himself ... as a bunny rabbit, in diapers, shitting himself, casting a doubtful light on this. Plus there's a photo of him wearing a diaper. All in all, a typical goon. Large amounts of people became an heros.

Camwhore

Shmorky is also a camwhore. The series.

Shmorky Quotes from the Comic Genesis forums

  • DAMN YOU! Now I have impure thoughts of Rocket J. Squirrel!
  • At times it is absurdly sexually graphic, but that's part of its charm. (Referring to a furry comic)
  • (points) GLEEEEEEEEEEE!!! A certain bunny and a certain ferret!
  • GLEE! All G-rated Dave Bunny goodness! (With a link to his LiveJournal, so obv. the porn he created was not just for commissions, as he's since claimed)

External Links

Dave Kelly is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Dave Kelly is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

[Boring. Move on.Read me!]

Dave Kelly is part of a series on Webcomics

Manga Ripoffs - MegatokyoSnafu comicsSuirenoki

Furry bullshit - BengoExterminatus NowHousepets!Kevin & KellLackadaisySonichuTails Gets TrolledThe Dragon DoctorsTwoKinds

Soap operas - Moon Over JuneSingle Asian FemaleQuestionable contentThe Nice Guy ComicRain

Gaming - CTRL ALT DeleteGod ModeMSPaint AdventuresPenny ArcadeSore ThumbsSweet Bro and Hella Jeff

Fandom - Ancient RealmsHow I Became YoursTG ComicsThe Legend of Razor

Weird shit - Anonymous AsexualApartment 18Assigned MaleAutobiography of an invisible monsterBilly The HereticChick tractsCocoa The ClownDeCadence ComicThe Dilbert HoleDNS ComicDr.Choker and PalsDrawn-chanElectric RetardExplosmHathor the Cow GoddessHipster HitlerHumonJerkcityJoe Mathlete explains MarmadukeLego Robot ComicsLOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOMEManic Pixie Nightmare GirlsMarried to the SeaMorning GloryNeo-KosmosRocky DennisSarah's ScribblesSpace MoosePokey the Penguinxkcd

Providers - Ayyk92Anne OnymousBengoBlazesonicCarlos LatuffCheddar-CheesiaChris-chanComic GenesisD.C. SimpsonDave CheungDave HopkinsDave KellyDavid GontermanDragonfiendDisneyFan01Drshnaps ProductionsEric W. SchwartzHamletMachineHeather DowdeeHayakainHumonImmelmannJames M. HardimanJay NaylorJennifer Diane ReitzJohn CampbellJustflyakiteKay FedewaKurohimeLeoianNostrafortPsyguyRaulo CáceresRHJuniorRodney CastonSmackjeevesSnapesnoggerSteve MacIsaacStoneTossTargTim BuckleyTim ToddTom PrestonWhitedog1Wyatt MannZyklon Ben

Enemies - Constructive CriticismJohn SolomonTalent