ED is slow

What ED looks like a third of the time.

ED Server HQ

How you can tell when ED is slow.

ED is slow (not to be confused with 'Ed is slow') is a naturally occurring phenomenon related to the inadequacy of current Internets technology vis-a-vis the inability to transmit vast quantities of lulz at high speeds to the masses.

Usage

Prima: "ED is slow. Is it getting DDoS'd?"

Secunda: "ED is always slow."

How does ED go down?

It is frequently assumed that ED is under a DDoS attack when these are going around, however it is frequently assumed wrong, because ED is immune to DDoS attacks and is immune to ping and tracert.

Other times you get an error like Guru Meditation or an error like the one below.

Warning: require_once(extensions/youtube.php) [function.require-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

Fatal error: require_once() [function.require]: Failed opening required 'extensions/youtube.php' (include_path='/var/www/ed/wiki:/var/www/ed/wiki/includes:/var/www/ed/wiki/languages:.:/usr/share/php:/usr/share/pear') in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

However, that is not the real cause. From a purely technical standpoint, when an outage occurs, ED goes down salty. Below is a technical diagram.

ED almost dies. Too bad it didn't.

See Also

• Donations plox.

This article is not crap. You can help by not doing anything.

	ED is slow is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Retreat!Do It Faggot]
Distinguished Individuals 03bgood • 2cash • abigblueworld • Adezero • aediot • Aeverine Nieves • Akai Dalia • Angel Locsin • A Man in Black • Argent009 • Asalieri • Aush0k • Bill9929 • Brian Martin • Chris-chan • Chrissie Barmore • CircaRigel • Clayranger89 • Daniel Brandt • DivineAngel • Donald Buffkin/Tablecow • Donny Long • drp1zza • ED Singers • Elizabeth Minami Wyvill • Erin Anthony • Feltcho • Flardox • Girlvinyl • Grace Saunders • Hayakain • Icewillow9 • Intellectual Checkmate • Ilovemydoodle • JDubs • Jim Profit • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Martin • Libertarian Fox • Linkaton Furaito • Ljupco Steriev • Love Shy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • Marjan Siklic • Meowbark • Mike Sandy • moot • Nate Spidgewood • Oliver D. Smith • Onideus • Pacificoceanasia • Paul Fetch • PixelBeeProductions • Preachingthegospel• Prince Jeremy • PrinceDumuzi • Purelily • Robert Wayne Stiles • Rootbrian • Rusty Ray • Sceptre • SheWolf • Sirius Orionis • SpleeNfat • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Tom Newton • VampiricSpektor • VideoGamePhenom • Vordrak • Wwwarea • YandereDev • Zenny Noble Internet Entities Anontalk • Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com • Conservapedia • DeviantART • encyclopediadramatica.wiki • Failcyclopedia • Josephevers.blogspot.com • Metafilter • MyAdopts • Namecheap • OhInternet • RationalWiki • Ripoff Report • Ultraviolet News Network • Uncyclopedia • VidLii • WikiFur • Wikipedia Glorious Civilizations Aborigines • Australia • Canada • China • France • Malaysia • Philippines • Tunisia Related Subjects and Methods Censorship • DDoS • Free Speech • Get a Lawyer • Hacking • Make a Petition • Notify the FBI • Serious Business • SOPA • The Græt Niggercide of Old ED • Writing an article for Uncyclopedia • You vs. ED