Stock photography

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Stock photography, like everything free, sucks. It is essentially the process of taking half-assed photographs of people who can barely act doing some menial task and then selling it to someone that’s too lazy to take the picture themselves so they can use it for their business. Because of the lack of effort put into these photos, the result usually ends up being laughable or retarded. Maddox goes in depth here. Stock photography has also become popular on the internet in recent years, and has been commonly used by the ironic internet humor hordes.

This'll be great for my business!

Another common element of stock photography is the infamous watermark, which only serves to make unattractive photos more unattractive. The positive side to this is that it can be used to determine how lazy someone is if they end up using a watermarked photo in their school project/advertisements/shitty windows movie maker video.

Most importantly stock photography is used to sue people who unknowingly posted images without watermarks on their shitty websites.

Meme Status

 
This is a real stock photo. Not as funny as they're made up to be, eh?

The stock photo, while ironically not increasing the value of your stock portfolio, has instead been used by memelords to propagate the idea that stock photos were "funny." They are frequently used by ironic humorists as their excuse to use ragefaces, in turn using the same damn photo over and over again to drill into the thick skulls of their followers the very "idea" of humor via meme.   Then they got their own fucking article on Know Your Meme.

Before the great memeing of 2011, stock photos were actually kind of funny: seeing all of the weird and irrelevant stock photos that websites distribute to gullible corporations for brand whoring or some shit was something funny and out of the blue. Nowadays, most of the shit you see is made up. People just take the damn "Getty Images" watermark and slap it on any unfunny picture and then instant lulz. At least, for those that still fall for the same old shit. Also, Getty Images even changed their watermark to be something more obnoxious with codes and stuff. You can still use the old watermark to make yourself look funny and ironic, though. People will still find it funny.

The formulaic guide to making your very funny stock photo:

  • Find an image (or fire up the old Photoshop and make your own snazzy stock photo). Using an image that has been used many times before is an added bonus!
  • Write some fake dialogue/ monologue between the subjects of the photo
  • Add them as a neato subtitle to your image.

Congratulations: Your meme original joke has been shared with the internet! It's almost like the characters in your creation are saying what you said! How hilarious! It's almost better than Impact font on the damn picture.

The funny thing about stock photos is that they're a step too close to advice animals in their nature. Just be glad we don't have really have that kind of schlock floating around the internet (yet).

Gallery

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Videos

Family Guy not being shitty for once.

Shutterstock's Theme song

See Also

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