Forza Motorsport 4

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Forza Motorsport 4, also known as Dodge M.Rossi 4 or Not Gran Turismo 4 and The Only Car is The C9 is the fourth Forza racing game by Turn 10 and despite being completely unbalanced and full of fucking retarded JDM faggots, supercar niggers, and NASCAR rednecks, it's still the best one in the main series after the dogshit Forza Motorsport 5 and it's equally terrible sequel, Forza Motorsport 6. It's basically exactly the same shit as the past games but with more cars and more tracks to crash them. The game feels like a copypasta of Need for Speed Underground, with over exaggerated forced Media praising added with IGN throwing more praises. Mechanics and Physics of the game are out of wack, which explains that developers cared more about happy gamer that he took the corner at 200MPH. Some mentioned that this game was taken over by the same people who ruined Gran Turismo.

The Cars

Forza 4 has an absolute shit ton of cars ranging from the exact same shitbox your mom handed down to you all the way to top notch Le Mans race cars. No open wheelers because apparently the game engine can't support it although Gran Turismo has been doing it for years. Cars are divided into classes from absolute shit to complete hax. These are some of them:

F Class

The lowest of low, shitty econoboxs to vans and military vehicles because fuck all.

  • Smart ForTwo: A car for people that think they're smart by buying a car too small to even carry fucking groceries.
  • Hummer H1 Alpha: For some reason Turn 10 decided it would be a good idea to add a fucking slow ass military truck into the game. Upgrade the shit out of it and race it in Any Class online for lulz.
  • Toyota Prius: The car that both gays and vegans alike drive because they're green except for the fact they carry two tons of toxic batteries on board.
  • GMC Vandura: A dual purpose machine. Can either be used as the A-Team van or for kidnapping children.
E Class

Slightly less shitty than F Class. Less oddities on wheels and more old rice burners.

  • Ford Country Squire: The perfect car for swapping a NASCAR V8 into and then taking the family on a road trip to Wally World.
  • Mazda MX-5 Miata: The original billboard for shouting "I'm Gay" has now been surpassed by the Prius. The Miata is now favored by ricers.
  • Pontiac Fiero GT: When the Americans think they can pull a Europe and put the engine behind you. Not surprisingly it's even shittier than their normal cars.
  • Jeep Wrangler Rubicon: A purpose built off roader with no off road tracks to make it usable. A good choice for making roadblocks in Multiplayer.
D Class

Comprised of more old American Muscle and even more gook rice mobiles.

  • Chevrolet Impala SS: Favored by niggers who raise the ride height and add rims far too big for the arches on the car making it even shittier than it already is.
  • Ford F-150 SVT Raptor: A top of the line small dick compensation device. The only reason why this and other pickup trucks in general are in this game so fatass Americunt rednecks don't go into a rage and shoot up a planned parenthood building.
  • Mini Cooper S: A compact built by both the Germans and British together so it's twice as unreliable than the Brits just building it themselves.
  • Dodge Charger R/T: Driven primarily by Amerifucks who forgot that straight line speed means jack shit in this game. Found commonly with a Confederate flag painted on the roof.
  • Aston Martin DB-5: MI6 won't install guns and an ejector seat on the DB5 for you sadly. If they did, Forza's multiplayer would be infinitely more playable.
C Class

This Class is like a ricer heaven and has damn near every fart can mobile in the world.

  • Honda Civic Type-R: The quintessential ricer car. Commonly found in the wild with too much camber, and/or going sideways into a wall because it can't grip worth shit.
  • Ford Mustang GT: The modern incarnation of the car that's loud and fast in a straight line but then implodes as soon as it comes across a turn.
  • Infiniti G35 Coupe: A perfectly normal run of the mill luxury performance car that gets ruined by it's owners who think a spoiler from Autozone adds at least 100 more horsepower.
  • Volkswagen Golf GTi: The hot hatch bought by people who don't mind that their car was partly conceived from the blood of Jews from across Europe.
B Class

Take C Class and make some of the cars slightly newer and slightly more powerful. That's basically B Class.

  • Ferrari 512 Testarossa: The only people qualified to drive this thing are Ryan Gosling and anybody who has watched Drive one too many times.
  • Chrysler 300 SRT-8: Niggers love the 300 because it looks like a Phantom, all the way up until an actual Phantom pulls up along side it.
  • Ferrari 250 GTO: Worth $20,000,000 monies because it's uber rare IRL. However in Forza terms, it's overpriced for something so out of date and shitty.
  • Toyota Supra RZ: Yes it's fast and furious but only when you dump a shit ton of cash into upgrades to make it such. Did someone say cornering? What's that?
  • Lotus Elise 111S: A Britfag car built so small that only Richard Hammond could fit inside of it comfortably. And so light that the Americans just had to LS swap it and call it their own.
  • Porsche 911 Turbo 3.3: The reason why it's called the Widowmaker is because dumbfucks forget they basically bought a pendulum on wheels with almost 300 horsepower. It says 911 on a back so you know what to dial when the driver kills himself going around a corner too fast.
  • Subaru Impreza WRX STi See below.
  • Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution: See above.
A Class

Finally, a class where there are actually performance cars that you may actually want to drive... that is until you realize S Class has better cars.

  • Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione: Probably the prettiest car in the entire world, even when it's smoking on the side of the road and the closest tow truck is two hours away.
  • Audi TT-RS: The hairdresser's car with some added punch. Still makes you look like a complete faggot, no matter how much faster you're going.
  • BMW M3: Owning an M3 IRL gives you the undeniable right to take up two parking spaces anywhere you go. Basically it's the Mustang of Europe in that all douchebags drive them.
  • Ford GT: A gas guzzling monster built by Americans who think a number bigger than 5 but lower than 10 is a good number for MPG.
  • Tesla Roadster: One of the few electric cars in the game, and as you would expect, it sucks major dick.
  • Lamborghini Countach: DONNIE GET ME THE FUCKING LUDES!111!!!!!
  • Nissan Skyline GT-R R34: Along with the Supra, the Skyline is hailed as one of the holy grails of the ricer world. Common drivers of Skylines in Forza are 12 year olds, niggers, and white trash.
  • Porsche Cayenne Turbo Porsche couldn't figure out whether to make this an SUV or a sports car so they did both. The VW Touraeg shares much with it, minus the cock wafting image.
  • Shelby Cobra 427 S/C: Another instance of Americans dropping big, gas guzzling engines into British cars then taking all the credit for them.
S Class

We've entered into a realm of wonderful sounds and absolute dogshit gas mileage.

  • Audi R8 V10: The I would buy a Gallardo but I don't want to look like a complete asshole car.
  • Chevrolet Corvette ZR1: A car that will put hair on your chest and fall apart after you take around the track for a lap.
  • Bugatti EB110 SS: From when Bugatti was a respectable sports car manufacturer, the time before the niggers found them.
  • Dodge Viper GTS: America's answer to Europe except they basically took a gas guzzling pickup truck engine and dropped it into a body that was probably built by Mexicans.
  • Ferrari 458 Italia: Good all around Italian supercar that bursts into flames as soon as you put your foot down.
  • Enzo Ferrari: V12 powered monster that basically shits on everything else in this class in every aspect.
  • McLaren F1: Not just the Americans, the Brits have a habit of taking full credit for shit they didn't completely do themselves. It's not like the F1 has a BMW V12 in it, oh no. British engineering at it's finest.
  • Nissan GT-R R35: Basically the exact same shit as the Skyline but faster and uglier. The audience is the same.
  • Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG A car that goes through it's tires faster than it does on gas. Also gull wing doors so if you roll onto your roof, you're fucked.
  • Porsche Carrera GT: Take the old 911 and add a 605 horsepower V10. The death toll for the Carrera GT just keeps climbing.
R3 Class

A mix of race cars and straight line speed hypercars that take the piss when they come across a corner.

  • Audi Sport Quattro S1: A monster of a rally car with again, no rally tracks to dominate on, in other words it's fucking useless.
  • Bugatti Veyron 16.4: Loved by niggers all around the world, this oversteering barge can top out at 250 miles per hour but it takes 250 miles to bring it to a stop.
  • Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS Stock Car:This and the other redneck oval racer perform about the exact same. Good for turning left.
  • Saleen S7: American supercar designed by a guy that looks like an alleged sex offender. Steve Saleen may try to sue Encyclopedia Dramatica due to alleged defamation, like he always tries to do.
  • Ferrari FXX: An Enzo with an inferiority complex, so it's power and aerodynamics have been buffed up. Loves to spin out.
  • Pagani Zonda Cinque: This car is made of hax. An Italian designed car with an AMG V12 under the hood. Somehow does well in every class it's upgraded into.
  • Hennessy Venom GT: A Lotus with a big ass 1200 horsepower Chevy V8 dropped in it that makes the Veyron shit itself. America takes credit for the whole car although 90% of it is British.
  • Holden Commodore V8 Supercar: Australia's more interesting alternative to NASCAR in which the cars actually turn right and don't look like they're made of cardboard.
  • Koenigseggisseggggnignigsegigisegggnigseggniggsegg Agera Sweden's masterpiece with a monster V8 engine and dihedral synchro-helix actuation doors.
  • Lamborghini Sesto Elemento: A Gallardo that's been on a diet so it's significantly faster at the cost of 2.5 million.
  • TVR Cerbera Speed 12: Consider this a Viper but with two extra cylinders and a lighter body. It's so unstable that even the Britfags who built it deemed it undriveable.
R2 Class

The best race cars in the game that don't go into the realm of the batshit Le Mans Prototypes.

  • Mazda Furai: A very stunning concept car that is sadly pretty slow. Currently a pile of smoldering ashes IRL.
  • Radical SR8 RX: A baby LMP, but nowhere near as fast. It actually feels more like a glorified go-kart and makes you feel like a cheapskate retard compared to having a real LMP.
  • Pagani Zonda R: Take the Cinque and make it handle even better. That basically how much bullshit this car is.
R1 Class

Le Mans race cars, will demolish anything on the track. Can be upgraded to an X Class for extra lulz.

  • Mazda 787B: RIP Headphone Users. Deafening sound aside this car is very good all around. But why, when you can just use the C9 instead?
  • Suzuki SX4 Pikes Peak: Not an LMP but just a rally car with a wing big enough to hold two Americans without stress. Can only top out at 150 miles per hour which make sit useless anyways.
  • Audi R18 TDI: An ugly ass mess with enough wings to make it take flight. Handles good. But why, when you can just use the C9 instead?
  • Sauber Mercedes C9: This car makes all cars cease to exist. It tops out at 265 miles per hour, handles as good as the 787B, and accelerates like a bat out of hell. Too bad it's used by fucking everybody.

Career

You drive cars, beat the other cars, make monies, and then buy more cars. Rinse. Repeat. ????. Profit.

AI Drivers

They're just here to fuck you up or be used as cannon fodder to fuck the other drivers up. Among the others, these are the most well known:

  • M.Rossi: This Italian fucknut is famous among the Forza community for constantly taking down other drivers like it's Burnout 3. Always drives a red car so it makes him an easy target for when you buy an SUV to send his ass into the tire wall.
  • P.Muller: Not as retarded as M.Rossi most of the time but the Kraut can sometimes one up the faggot at his own game. If Muller is near you, be ready to brake because chances are, he will fuck up.

Multiplayer

As usual, multiplayer is a complete clusterfuck in which every driver but one gets wrecked on the very first corner of the track by some nigger driving a GT-R or a Bugatti. The guy who gets away is most likely driving a C9 and will not be seen again for the rest of the race until he laps you.

 

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