Game Grumps

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Egoraptor trying his best to recreate one of his cartoons

Game Grumps is a Youtube comedy gaming channel hosted by Egoraptor and JonTron Danny.


Profile

Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson, co-host of Game Grumps, prior to the channel's creation was e-famous for his Newgrounds flash cartoons and other contributions to the site. Visually, the manchild resembles post-op Michael Jackson. He's also in his late 20s, in spite of looking like an overweight middle aged lesbian. Also, he's engaged. Yes, shocking. I suppose even the filthiest of beasts can find true love (although, I'm pretty sure the ol' lesbian will break it off the second she finds out he has a dick.)

His accomplice, Jon "JonTron" Jafari, a festering obesity incarnate who likely eats more in a day than what the entire population of Congo eats in a few decades, is also, but to a much lesser-extent, famous on the internet. Jon's not-so extensive following includes his mother and some 14 year olds from Reddit. When his fat cherub face is not chowing down, he's taken a liking to using his mouth to make words, and sometimes even string sentences together. Sometimes he constructs coherent sentences, but unfortunately they are semantically void, and any attempt to interpret them for meaning may lead to permanent brain damage.

The two met up after Egoraptor reached out to JonTron in hopes of beating the shit out of him for ripping off his unique autistic style of comedy. However, things took a turn when they eventually met. Arin noticed how utterly retarded JonTron was and this killed his resolve to murder the shitbag. Instead, in the moment and overcome by guilt, Arin decided they should combine their unique talents to form Game Grumps. Ego still lives in regret of his decision, but fortunately for him the Youtube $$$ he makes from children tuning in everyday is enough to keep him going.

Additionally, there is a third unseen member to Game Grumps-- Barry, which rumor has it is the nickname for the creature/alien-like thing living on JonTron's neck. Supposedly, his work is to add the obnoxious yellow text to each video.

Since Jon's departure in June 2013, Danny "NinjaSexParty" Jewstein has partially filled in the craterous anus groove Jon Jafari left behind on the couch. Very little details have emerged regarding this NinjaSexParty to write a comprehensive profile on him at the current moment, albeit we do have conclusive evidence that he is Jewish, which honestly saves me a couple of hours digging up dirt on him for this profile piece.


Purpose

Egoraptor, being the lazy manchild he is was hurting for cash and needed a new source of revenue and new target audience. Seeing how other bottomfeeders and lowlives made a living by catering to friendless morons and giving them the illusion of being their best friend he did what he does best: Stole the idea and ran with it. Instead of selling cartoons he now can sell crappy merchandise, the illusion of having real friends and rare used games on ebay to afford his freeloading lifestyle.


Fanbase

The early viewership of game grumps consisted mostly of /v/, who watched it ironically due to egoraptor spending weeks astroturfing his show there. The fanbase he is now stuck with consists of people so socially awkward of hideous they failed to attract anything that can be considered a friend in real-life, losers who pretend "Arin" is their real friend and then proceed to send their few belongings and spare allowance to his PO box and the mentally challenged.

Your average game grumps fan, stalking one of the host's wives

Porn

Art.


   
“ 		 
At least I'm comfortable with a man's penis, rock hard
  		„
  		 

— Jontron


The main function of the Game Grumps channel is to supply fodder for various works of marvelous art. In just over a month since the channel's creation, fans have created many "works of art", shipping the two in any and every way way possible.

Sorry you had to see this folks

Humor

The question of whether or not Game Grumps is supposed to be funny still remains. While the two spend the duration of their videos giggling like a pack of trampled hyenas, our team of experts here at ED have not yet been able to unravel the mystery-- what the fuck is so funny? Our experts report : "we're not even sure that the laughs are legitimate or that they're just laughing at each other's poor jokes out of politeness."

Quotes

Pictured: The blatant features of Jon's genetic history, from when his great, great grandfather stuck his dick in a grizzly bear, are visually apparent.

Drugs

The two have been accused of being under the influence while recording, however the two have outright denied these claims during their Mega Man 7 series. And we totally believe them.

The Cum Chronicles Of JonTron

Just another victim of the Eastern-European immigration
Nervous?

Jon Jafari's pulsating bag of gypsy juices cannot easily be tamed. At times, he needs something more involved than tentacle porn or old dusty photos of his mother. Sometimes he needs something dastardly and sinful to abate his Transylvania tremors in the nether-- in this particular case, when the moon was full in the sky one horrid night, Jon's lust was tamed by sneaking into Arin's finance, Suzy, while she slept and giving her a facial.

To your left you'll see a picture of his filthy, filthy handy work, This was taken moments after she woke up from the smell of Jon's toxic cum wafting through her nasal passages. We're unsure of exactly who took the photo, but rumour has it Suzy took the picture herself, wondering what the strange substance on her face was, and hoping her Facebook friends might be able to help her out. That was purportedly the first time she came into contact with cum, since the couple agreed to wait until the honeymoon.

How do we know it was JonTron? Well-- for one, everyone knows that no human could possibly cum that much, only a gypsy could account for such a load. Secondly, when JonTron was confronted via twitter about his problem, not long after an unconvincing denial, he went ahead and deleted fucking everything off of his twitter account.

You can chalk this up to the impulsiveness of one very guilty gypsy.

The Ensuing Backlash

Of course, as always happens with E-famers, their luck eventually ran out on 18th February 2013, when they uploaded an episode of the brilliant game entitled "Naughty Bear". Despite being given many prompts on what to do in the game, they proceeded to walk around like a pair of idiots for 10 minutes talking about the the game's mechanics and unrelated life events before calling it quits after just 3 episodes. Naturally, most of the Fanboys hated their poor performance.

JonTron Leaves: The Least Tragic Departure Ever

Comparison: Yoko Ono arguably broke up one of the greatest duos known, Suzy arguably broke up two of the worst cunts to ever get together.

On June 25th 2013, 3 videos were uploaded that ended Game Grumps for good;

1) A sudden departure video featuring Jon filmed alone in shitty cellphone quality like he'd been taken hostage, cutting to Arin, Barry and Suzy looking disingenuously unhappy whilst immediately introducing Jon's replacement.

2) A desperately unfunny new Game Grumps featuring the new "Not So Grump", Danny, from some shit no one cares about. The obvious pre-scripting of things to say about the game as well as Arin's desperate laughter at everything Dan says reeks of Poochie-ism

3) An even worse video featuring Dan and some other twat, both still trying too hard, under the title Steam Train.

Speculation is rife as to what prompted this dramatic exit from the show, but the hints are there that Arin's fiancee Suzy was involved. Perhaps she was getting too involved in production, Jon mentioned it to Arin and Arin and/or Suzy couldn't take it, thus prompting a very sudden exit? Check out Jon's face when Suzy gets into Game Grumps business in this video DAT FRUSTRATIONS.

Clearly, the intention is for Arin and his succubus to continue to make money while someone else rides his coattails, but sadly the new contributor sucks a pile of donkey cock larger than Suzy's ego, so it's really more of the same.

Another popular theory is that Arin tried to make sexual advances towards Jon's rl waifu (who remarkably looks like Arin himself) and when rejected slapped her. This caused Jon to sperg out and sperate all ties. Legally there is nothing Jon can do, because his slave-contract with polaris forbids him from criticising from fellow "polaris" members.

The ship has begun sinking since Jon's departure. While the series is no worse than it was before, arguably improved since the fat cunt decided to focus his lack of creative talent elsewhere, fans are unsubscribing to the channel, disliking newer videos en masse and in general acting like the children they are. It says a lot about a series when it begins to conduct its swan song when an absolute cunt of a human being like Jon Jafari takes his leave.

Where is Jontron now?

Jontron, when he's not creating high quality entertainment.
Ironically, his funniest ever video!

See Also

External Links

Truth

Game Grumps is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal

Game Grumps is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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