ED is slow: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 13:16, 1 April 2012

File:Kk20120401.gif

Prima: "ED is slow. Is it getting DDoS'd?"

Secunda: "ED is always slow."

How does ED go down?

It is frequently assumed that ED is under a DDoS attack when these are going around, however it is frequently assumed wrong, because ED is immune to DDoS attacks and is immune to ping and tracert.

Other times you get an error like Guru Meditation or an error like the one below.

Warning: require_once(extensions/youtube.php) [function.require-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

Fatal error: require_once() [function.require]: Failed opening required 'extensions/youtube.php' (include_path='/var/www/ed/wiki:/var/www/ed/wiki/includes:/var/www/ed/wiki/languages:.:/usr/share/php:/usr/share/pear') in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

However, that is not the real cause. From a purely technical standpoint, when an outage occurs, ED goes down salty. Below is a technical diagram.

ED almost dies. Too bad it didn't.

1337 • Сибирской говор • Algospeak • American Language • AOL speak • Babelfish • Bemmel • Dyslexia • Ebonics • English • Engrish • Esperanto • Hebrew • HTML • Internets English • Klingon • Latin • Mathematics • Moonspeak • Pirate • Short type • Toki Pona • Wikipedese • Упячка

^ • [sic] • A and an • Abbreviation • ALL CAPS • Altcaps • Amirite • Baleet • B0rk • Captions• Cheeky Nando's • Commas • E- (prefix) • Ellipsis • etc. • EVAR • Exclamation Point • Fnord • Gaiden • GAR • Generic Article • Good Spelling • Graphic transcription • H8 • Homosexual Epithets • Hott • Introduction to English • I Will Beat A Rod Till... A Tank Empties • kthxbye • Liek • Like • Literally • Meh • Moar • Nao • Never • No Homo • Oh • Oh noes • Opposites • Plox • Plz • Plskthx • Pindos • Portmanteau • Ppl • pr0n • Prolly • Pun • Pwnt • r • Rekt • Serious Discussion • Skill • Slash • Snoregasm • Some argue • Spellcheck • Srsly • Stuff • Stylometry • Sup • There, Their, and They're • Teh • Tilde • To, Too, and Two • Typical • Typo • Twice • Uber • Underscore • User Stress Syndrome • Virii • Wat do • LOL WUT • What • Whatever • What-EVER • Winnar • w00t • Word • Yes • No • You're/Your • Your a fucking idiot

Analogy • And Fuck You Anyway • Are You Fucking Kidding Me • Bale Out • Circular Logic • Condescension • Confirm/Deny • Constructive Criticism • Come at me bro • Cry moar • Deadname • Dubious Disclaimer • Dislikes • English Is Not My Native Language • ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT • Excuse me wtf r u doin • Fallacious Reasoning • Faulty Logic • Filibuster • Flame Wars • Fuck Her Right In The Pussy • Go fuck yourself • I have a 140 IQ • Just Saying • Killer • Lie • Logic and Reason • Mega ultra super genius • Message • Neologism • NO U • OBEY • Opinion • Prank call • Pseudo-intellectual • Questionable logic • Read a book • Sarcasm • Seems Legit • Shaming • Shout Out • Snark • Spam • Stale • Strategy Guide • Straw Man • Stream of Consciousness • Swearing • TL;DR • Too cool for the internet • Zing

Iambic Pentameter • Poetry • PFFA

Advertising • Censorship • Cliché • Context • Dan's Devil's Dictionary • DINDUNUFFIN • Free Speech • Gender-neutral language• Grammar Nazi • Internet linguistics • Leeching • L.U.L.Z. • Noam Chomsky • Personal Pronouns • THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION • Signaling • Statistics • Tay • Translation • Wordfilter

AIM • Backmasking • Bayeux Tapestry • Bcc • Blog • Cell phone • Chat Logs • Comments • E-mail • Everything2 • Forum • Hate Mail • ICQ • Internets • IRC • LiveJournal • Kindle • Mailing list • MLB.tv • MSN • Old Media • Personal Message • Powerpoint presentation • Ringtones • Sidekick • Skype • Social Networking Sites • SMS • Television • Trending • Web 2.0 • Web 3.0

♥ • <3 • A+ • ASCII • Big • Blink • BrokenSpacebar • Demotivators • Emotes • Emoji • Emoticons • Fifty Hitler Post • Gif War • Gooby • Graph • Icon • Image Macro • Heatenings • Le Pointy Nose Smiling Face • Otaku emoticons • Rainbow blinkies • Small • Smileys • Marquee • This is Bob • Venn Diagram

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[Image:Sloscan.jpg|thumb|right|260px|ED Server HQ]]
+[[File:Kk20120401.gif|500px|center]]
-[[Image:ED is slow.png|thumb|260px|How you can tell when ED is slow.]]
-'''[[ED]] is slow''' (not to be confused with [[Special Ed|'Ed is slow']]) is a naturally occurring phenomenon related to the [[fail|inadequacy]] of current [[Internets]] technology vis-a-vis the inability to transmit [[X-box|vast quantities]] of [[lulz]] at high speeds to the masses.
-==Usage==
 :'''Prima:''' "ED is slow. Is it getting [[DDoS]]'d?"
 :'''Secunda:''' "ED is always slow."

ED is slow: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 13:16, 1 April 2012

How does ED go down?

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