Xkcd: Difference between revisions
>BigMeatHuggins22 I don't know why this has never been mentioned, but I made an entire dissertation about the free speech comic. You're welcome. |
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== That one fucking retarded comic about free speech == | == That one fucking retarded comic about free speech == | ||
[[File:Free speech.png| | [[File:Free speech.png|525px|thumb|right|Behold: the one [[strawman]] to rule them all]] | ||
If you ever, EVER, post this ''FUCKING'' image in an argument with someone about [[free speech]], you deserve to be killed in an accident, final destination style. | If you ever, EVER, post this ''FUCKING'' image in an argument with someone about [[free speech]], you deserve to be killed in an accident, final destination style. | ||
Revision as of 13:02, 30 December 2021
xkcd, pronounced \eks-kud\, is the home of a stick-figure webcomic produced by /r9k/-inspiring physics geek and slashdot fanboy Randall Patrick Munroe. Dubbed by the author "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language", the comic was once a source of kinda funny, geek-inspired humor, but has recently become a tri-weekly outlet for Munroe to write about the latest happenings in his life through unfunny poorly drawn stick figure comics.
What's in an xkcd comic?
- Randall claiming that he is better than you because he knows of a certain mathematical/science theory he read about on Wikipedia.
- Randall claiming he is better than you because he had a girlfriend.
- Randall insisting on perpetuating an image of the fantasy world he lives in where girls actually give a fuck about things like Linux.
- LOL INTERNET MEMES AND NERD-CULTURE.
- Richard Stallman.
- Visual representations of various inferiority complexes.
Rest of the comics are confusing graphs and formulæ. It is important to note that the addition of any actual humor is entirely optional and largely irrelevant.
TL;DR
xkcd is a prime example of the idea that if you can't make a funny comic, you can at least shamelessly appeal to the interests of your fanbase, which consists of pasty-faced liberal basement-dwellers and mathophiles. Long devoid of anything resembling humor, xkcd instead relies on its pseudo-intelligence to mask its lack of funny. So when a comic is made up and Munroe realizes it's a pile of dogshit, the problem is circumvented by putting the comic under a radical sign, or drawing a couple hearts on it, or throwing in a bunch of shit about computer programming, so that the legions of nerdy fans will have something to relate to. Any attempt to expose this for what it is (a circlejerk of unfunny nerds basking in their own pseudo-intellectualism) will result in the classic failed rebuttal, "xkcd is too intelligent for you. You just don't get the subtle humor and intricate jokes."
Here is some of that great, biting humor now. Remember, this is in no way pretentious; it's sophisticated humor that you'll just never understand.
Quality humor, right?
xkcd fans: do not want
Digg
As previously stated, xkcd is the subject of rampant fanboyism, especially in the Digg Community where thousands of basement-dwellers wait up every night to be the first to submit the comic in a pathetic attempt to gain 15 minutes of parasitic internets fame, followed by binky79 and his impostors claiming that "This is the best xkcd ever!"
Early Works
While it seems that little of his current work is funny, the truth of the matter is that Munroe simply peaked early in his career. His earliest sketches were vastly superior in whimsy and humor to his current work, but soon fell into a downward spiral of pretense and failure when he started sketching girls sleeping in front of him, because Randall Munroe is just that type of guy. While there is only one documented victim in Munroe's notebook rape spree, there are undoubtedly thousands of pictures just like this:
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He also likes Questionable Content, btw.
xkcd and the Internet
The thing for which Munroe is perhaps most famous is not his chronically un-amusing math "humor", chronically un-amusing relationship "humor," or insistence on clumsily cramming his comics full of other unfunny nerd shit, but his absurd amounts of internet pandering. That's right, xkcd's creator is aware of the internet, and apparently wants to make very damn sure everyone knows it. And since xkcd's creator obviously spends as much time online as his pathetically devoted fanbase, you can correctly assume that most of the comics will find a way to cram in some unnecessary reference to a popular website or software or stupid meme of which he's just learned. Even for a webcomic, xkcd contains a great amount of stupid, shameless, and useless internet references, which incidentally, makes it uncannily similar and of interest to ED. Some of the internet-related issues of xkcd:
- [1] - LiveJournal
- [2] - AIM
- [3] - Firefox
- [4] - In popular culture
- [5] - Linux
- [6] - Google Maps
- [7] - Bel-Air
- [8] - Internet Connections
- [9] - 2girls1cup
- [10] - YouTube - This one actually spawned YouTube's audio preview for comments.
- [11] - DRM
- [12] - Image macros
- [13] - Rickroll
- [14] - Even Goatse
...and just about half of all new comics, for that matter.
Unfortunately for Munroe, merely referencing something funny or relevant, such as an internet meme, does not make you funny or relevant yourself. It just puts you on the same level as the average stupid teenage boy endlessly parroting Borat and Family Guy quotes, assuredly raping any inherent comedic value the jokes may have once had.
That one fucking retarded comic about free speech
If you ever, EVER, post this FUCKING image in an argument with someone about free speech, you deserve to be killed in an accident, final destination style.
Why is it so retarded? Where to begin? Firstly, this comic keeps getting dragged up in literally any argument about freeze peach wherever someone has an unpopular opinion or gets b&. The argument being made is robust enough: "An individual might invoke the First Amendment of the US Constitution, which guarantees, among other things, free speech to any entity or person subject to the legal jurisdiction of the US. It expressly specifies that "Congress shall make no law [...] abridging the freedom of speech or of the press.". As the persons preventing your speech from being heard are not under the banner of congress and are instead private individuals, they can do what they want and they don't have to offer you a platform."
The problem is the language being used in the name of 'comedy'. There is a world of difference between "Congress shall make no law" and "the government can't arrest you". By this definition, the government could restrict your speech in several ways while not specifically violating your rights, which is incorrect. And yes, private individual companies like Twitter can and do practice censorship because censorship isn't illegal, the problem comes when it's enforced arbitrarily. With Twitter as the case in point, has allowed ISIS terrorists and antifa members to own accounts to radicalize others on the platform, while handing out bans at random to literal nobodies who weren't that big a deal to begin with. You'd think that silicon valley tech companies would work tirelessly to combat the spread of AIDS on their websites, but not only do they not care, they actively collude with each other to carry it on. And when someone decides to make the next big killer app that actively rivals their userbases, they pull their strings to shut it down.
The problem isn't the fact that someone is restricting your speech, it's that every platform is so oppressively restricted by design. Because if another platform isn't, it becomes a problem for the ones that are.
FUCK - YOU - XKCD FUCK YOU FOR MISINFORMING THE PUBLIC ABOUT FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS
We at Encyclopedia Dramatica LOVE the idea of freedom of posting whatever the hell we want, even if the consequences eventually lead us to being hosted in Ukraine. But the fact that we say words like nigger or kike, or have extremely biased opinions on current events or joke about human tragedy means our voice is under constant threat of being silenced. Some of the topics that do crop up are about people who rightly deserve to be trolled because they're a never-ending source of amusement, and we love shit that's funny, who doesn't? If you don't want to listen to us joke about the holocaust, fine - we never expected to have a platform in the first place, that's why we have our own. But telling us our own platform's existence is the problem fundamentally misses the point of free speech. Stupid, misconstrued opinions about what the constitution actually means makes up so much of the political dialogue these days and it's so stupid that we have to rely on foreign webhosting in order to give THIS platform to our community of neets
xkcd and ED
At least 100 years ago, Munroe made a comic giving the xkcd version of that Boom de Yada song from The Discovery Channel. Some btard who has a permanent cathode-ray tan created his own version. Anonymous was not impressed:
Online Map
Last Thursday Munroe made a map of popular internet communities. It would have probably been kind of cool if it hadn't already been done several times. Also, Encyclopedia Dramatica wasn't mentioned, to which some butthurt EDiots took offense. One even went as far as to make his own map, seen below.
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The original -
An overzealous EDiot attempts to correct Munroe's mistake, and fails just as hard.
The Secretary of the Internet
Last Monday, xkcd released a comic about a fictional plan to propose an official Secretary of the Internet. The comic turned out to be multipartite, with consecutive episodes coming out in the following days. Surprisingly, the usual math/science/relationship faggotry took a back seat to a bunch of stupid nonsense about internet trolls and Ron Paul. It's all drawn out over multiple comics to make it seem more EPIC and interesting, but there's really nothing funny about it. However, one interesting part about it is the name-dropping of 4chan's /b/ in the second part, and subsequent enraging of stupid faggots from /b/ who predictably made furious cries regarding Rules 1 & 2. It would have been quite awesome if Randall Munroe was just trying to troll the fuck out of /b/tards, but the more likely scenario is just another case of trying to parasitically latch on to a popular internet community to pander to his stupid fans.
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Part 1 -
Part 2 -
Part 3 -
Part 4 -
Part 5
A better, fixed version with EFG.
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Part 1 fixed -
Part 2 fixed -
Part 3 fixed
ROBOT9000
In early 2008, Munroe made a post on his blog about a new bot that he'd developed, which he named ROBOT9000. The function of the bot was to cancel out noise in chat by making it so that a post could never be duplicated. A novel concept, the bot was soon put to work on 4chan as the primary moderator of the then-new board /r9k/. Munroe promptly orgasmed upon hearing this news and updated his blog accordingly. While the bot first showed signs of promise as a useful idiot-filter, it was soon revealed that if you take the repetition, spam, and idiocy out of 4chan, you're only left with a bunch of aspies having boring arguments over topics they know nothing about and shitloads of LiveJournal-esque relationship whining; which is precisely what /r9k/ has become, ironically mirroring the devolution of the xkcd comics themselves.
YouTube Audio Preview
Randall Munroe was also indirectly responsible for YouTube's shitty, useless audio comment preview system. In October '08, Munroe made a rare decent comic about how YouTube commenters are among the dumbest people on the internet, and the comic proposed a hypothetical audio playback system to show the YT users just how amazingly stupid they are. Oddly enough, shortly after the comic aired YouTube installed a similar system that allows users to play audio previews of their comments before posting. Of course, this idea should have stayed in the realm of "Haha, what if?" because it's completely fucking useless in practice, since users can simply choose to not use the system altogether.
Trolling the xkcd forums
Trolling the xkcd forums is a subtle and unknown art, many have tried but few have actually succeed, due to aspie mod team constantly watching the reported posts.
- Known trolling techniques
- Mention rape being funny, or that she was totally asking for it
- Bring up Evo-Psych
- Mention anything about "Terriorsts, next 200 feet"
- Constantly post conservative propaganda
- Apply to join the truly free and spam goatse in Free as In Destitute. Point out the hypocrisy as the mods clean up your dirty work.
- Go to the mafia sub-forums and mention anything about ALICE still searching or Babam being the best mafia mod ever.
- Use red text, it pisses off the mods because ORIGINAL COLOR DO NOT STEAL
- Talk about piracy or emulation in the gaming forums
- Ask what davaen actually does
- Post rambling bullshit in the mathematics forum claiming you've solved P=NP
- Link to last measure
- Fun Fact: You can embed infectious .swfs with the [flash][/flash] tags
- Start flame wars in the News and Articles section, very easy to do.
- Post as many new comic threads at midnight EST, get butthurt and flame the other thread if it gets picked by the mods
- Post anything at all in Serious Business that is even remotely conservative.
- For instant lulz, ask Belial about his time with bubba after getting caught with dyke jailbait nessie. Leads to insta-ban.
From boring to depressing
Since his wife was diagnosed with cancer, the comic has turned really depressing.
Gallery
Here are a few examples of xkcd comics that surprisingly don't suck.
Image dump here:
External Links
- xkcd sucks blog
- XKCD Explained RIP
- Is xkcd shitty today?
- xkcd could be better - forum for photoshopping existing xkcd comics to make them not suck
- goatkcd
| Featured article October 2, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by MyFreeImplants |
Xkcd | Succeeded by Gallantmon8 |
