Valerie (Pai)

A picture that shows she "used" to cosplay. This screams Attention whore!!!!!!

Wap in denial. Crisis!

Quite possibly the epitome of Wapanese in denial, Valerie (Pai) Durham will defend her 'non-weeaboo' title to the Hello Kitty-covered grave. Although willing to discuss her knowledge of Japanese culture with any of her over 9000 AZN Myspace friends, at the slightest hint of lulz, transforms into Wapanese-defense mode. From taking pictures of herself smoking, ("don't worry im not a smoker"), pictures with Japanese characters "photoshopped" into them, this one is the poster child of several things such as attention whore and of course Wapanese.

Internet funsies

With profiles from LJ to MySpace, Valerie (Pai) tries everything in her nonexistent power to inform you that she is not, in fact, Wapanese. With pages covered in Japanese characters and AZN fucktards flashing the peace-sign, it's definitely hard to believe she is Wapanese. This said dripping with sarcasm of course.

	“	even tho i could care less about japanese stuff as much as anything else	„
	—Valerie (Pai), rebuttal.

Notice the Japanese floating across the top? No, never mind, she doesn't care about them.

In the Wapanese attention whore department, leaving bulletins for of any online spat her followers to look at. And looking at any new situation as a way to get another Myspace friend.

	“	if i dont like someone, i stay away from them ofcourse! so heres what i sent her.... and i gave her a friend request! :)	„
	—Valerie (Pai), estatic at the thought of a new friend.

But it doesn't end here! Watch out, she will try to tell you that she hasn't updated her page in 3 years. But it's hard to imagine anyone with a 6,000 friend following would want to make them bored. So constant updates like speeding tickets, what she had for breakfast and when her next menstrual cycle is are must haves for any-one trying to reach her level of greatness.

Internet Drama

One day, a typical EDiot, named I_am_the_Black_Wizard, found a link to J-emo's myspace on the Wapanese page. The Black Wizard just couldn't contain her glee, and the next thing she knew, shot her load and had sent a message via myspace to Valerie (Pai). The following is a copy of the original messages, rated pg-13 for strong Valerie (Pai)'s show of retardation.

	“	Your page makes me want to puke. You WAPANESE LOSER.	„
	— I_am_the_Black_Wizard, first shot fired.

Valerie (Pai)'s return, clearly trying to cover her tracks, in a message with fluent use of punctuation, great spelling and awesome sentence structure:

	“	im sorry if i don't update my page for 3 years. even tho i could care less about japanese stuff as much as anything else, im glad im not a fatty cake like you. but thanks! you remind to indeed update my shit :)	„
	—Valerie (Pai) bringing out the totally original insults

The Black Wizard still has juice!! Knowing an ED page must be in the future, and catching Valerie (Pai) before her nightly act of cutting:

	“	Well, :) , I'm glad I am atleast a fatty, and not an anorexic coke whore. So have fun being a weeaboo, because I guess it's fun to be exploited on Encyclopedia Dramatica. And as much as you pretend you don't care, you have something to think about when you pretend to cut yourself tonight to get people to notice you. :)	„
	— Black Wizard says this, smiling like a cat with a mouse

Valerie (Pai) admitting to being at least emo, with the spelling ability of one as well:

	“	you are on 4chan too mcuh. ok... first you say something that couullld be true. but sorry, i dont drink or do drugs... nor do i not eat to stay UN-fat. why are you mixing being EMO with liking Japanese shit? that doesn't make sense. p.s. punk is dead. 1977	„
	— Valerie (Pai) bringing up punk for no reason.

The Black Wizard simply pointing out facts:

	“	I dont go to 4chan. I don't get what the punk thing is about either.	„
	— Black Wizard, with a big 'wtf' to the punk reference

There was not another message back from Valerie (Pai). But there were bulletins galore to the 6,000 weeaboo followers on Valerie (Pai)'s friendlist. Within the 'juicy' bulletins were the messages sent back and forth. With titles such as "nee nerr nee nerr!! im a wapanese loser....REAADDDD". The bulletin came in three parts, and the messages above go in order with it. Part One:

	“	This BAFFLES me, why would someone, just a random person...go out of their way to try to insult me? or make fun of me or just anything in general...if i dont like someone, i stay away from them of course! so hears what i sent her.... and i gave her a friend request! :)	„
	—Valerie (Pai), whoring herself out.

Of course, everyone else, just by looking at her page, can see exactly why someone would want to go out of their way to make fun of her dumb Wapanese ass.

Part Two: Black Wizard retorts, as seen in the second message sent by her. And Valerie (Pai) updates her drooling followers:

	“	again she speaks! but.. i believe i offended her cus now she went wackoo saying imma emo druggie.. my reply again to her bs. p.s. this is kinda fun :)	„
	—Valerie (Pai) thinking she offended someone by calling them 'fatty cakes'.

Last but not least. Valerie (Pai) thinks she has won.

	“	she gave up so i am win! last thing she wrote- I dont go to 4chan. I dont get what the punk thing is about either.	„
	— Valeri (Pai) on winning by writing shit that didn't make any sense. She is made of fail.

Want her look?

Listen up kiddies!! Get your Sanrio character-coated notebook and gel pens out, its time to learn to become Valerie (Pai).

-First things first. Your page must be, I repeat, must be pink. Yes, even if you are a guy AND even if it is not your favorite color.

-Add all sorts of sparkly glitter thingies. This is a trick devised to keep people from focusing on the fact that you suck donkey cock.

-List the names of all of the Japanese-related literature that you like, but then state:

	“	I dont really read books because I dislike school.. and thats the only time that I actually HAVE to read.. and so.. I dont LIKE reading.. -.-!	„
	— Valerie (Pai) on her love for books.

Hey, some of those are magazines..those don't count.

- Make sure to include ^_^ or :3 after everything you say. This shows how in tune with Japanese culture you are.

-Join any group on Myspace with the word "Japanese" in it. This also shows how much you know.

-Get an AZN boyfriend! The perfect accessory.

In order to achieve Pai's beautiful look in photos, the only requirement is look as AZN as possible! Heavy eye make-up pointed at the outer corners of your eyes and huge fake eyelashes. Put a shitload of mousse in your hair for that choppy just-woke-up look. Spray yourself down with industrial-sparkle glitter. Now tilt your head back ever so slightly and try to look through (but not directly at the camera) eyelash forest. snap a picture! Oh, and don't forget the flash, it will reflect perfectly off of your pounds of white face-power.

Gallery

Add pixplzkthnx to Valerie (Pai) Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix. Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.

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  Clever!! You thought you could trick us with the Chinese music!
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  Look how haPPy we R!!! ^_^ !!!11!1
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  Why do you need to put the brand of shit you like on your myspace?!
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  Don't forget your weeaboo boy, imported from Japan!
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  She must fit in somewhere!!
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  You decide for yourself, which of these are Japanese?
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  Proof she wishes she was Japanese!!
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  the aliens have arrived
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  DESUDESUDESU god you gais, i'm not wapanese.
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  pai, disregarding the fact that "chinkers" is a racist term when you're not AZN, oh wait she must be azn

External Links

• http://www.myspace.com/paiasumi Myspace.
• http://im-sober.livejournal.com/ Livejournal.
• http://www.paiphotography.com/ Shitty Website. notice the last link on the bottom.