Red October
General October is the leader of the military forces commanded by the North American DONG Party. He is only respected due to this fact and it is suspected that much ridicule occurs behind his back. The General built the Red Army from motley assortment of recruits, various Anonymii, IRCfags and /b/tards. Despite all these obstacles, the General now commands one of the most feared forces in history due to the hacking steroids and the cause it supports.
Bio
General Red October is the Commander in Chief of the Red Army of LOL. Bearing the tripcode Red October !3DVYyKaAo6, he is easily recognized in any situation. Under his command, The Red Army has only encountered victory after victory. The most successful campaigns include Operation Emo, Operation Jewhunter, Operation Irwin and Operation Canada. The General is a cyborg which comes in handy for internet-battles and RL raids. He has many modifications, all created by Tony Stark who made them in a cave with box of scraps.
Operation Emo
It was discovered in late 2007 by a prominent scientist of the DONG party that the only cure for being an emo is to have ones legs cut off. This solution was reached through a series of tests revealing that and emo without legs would either grow some character and stop whining or would bemoan its loss of legs until it decided that the world was all to much and become an hero of the Black Parade. Following this discovery General October proceeded to have the Red army track down each and every emo and cut his legs off until all the emos on the internet were amputated. Unfortunately, emos are like raptors in that they will change sex arbitrarily, eat small children on deserted islands and eventually breed limitlessly. So, while the operation was a success, the survival instinct of the emo was underestimated, explaining why there are still emos everywhere you fukkin go.
Operation Jewhunter
As everyone knows, the kykes are not permitted to be in possession of any internets, however, when everyone stopped using the Jew gold as currency, many Jews decided to simply ignore the law and use internets as their new medium. The ever-vigilant President Abdul noticed the ever-decreasing amount of internets in circulation and came to the correct conclusion that the Jews were hoarding it. Having realized this, he ordered General October and the Red Army to arrest all Jews in possession of internets, where they would undergo a star-chamber hearing and would mysteriously vanish afterwards. The purity of the internet was quickly re-established and the Jew infestation was wiped out like niggers vs. firehoses. When asked how he felt about the morality of this Op, General October replied
—Red October | ||
Operation Irwin
Despite common belief, Steve Irwin was not killed by his own foolishness, but rather by the DONG Party for being a faggot with a ridiculous accent. Another prominent DONG scientist created a robotic stingray equipped with a taser and deadly mudkipz ejaculate. It was put into position by skilled Red Army divers who were later awarded the Iridium Tesseract of Anonymity.
Operation Canada
In which the Red Army of LOL took over Canada, instated Colonel Kardus as Dictator and banned the speaking of French for all eternity. That 95% of Canada (the non-French speaking population) actually rejoiced with copious amounts of strong beer (bagged milk for those underage) regarding this last edict was simply a bonus. It was pretty win.
