Max Harris
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FACT ALERT: Max finally realised that nobody likes his music, and, in a fit of self-loathing and shame, |
Max Harris is, like many of today's youths, a gigantic faggot. And, like many of today's gigantic faggots, Max Harris thinks that he is a deep, intelligent, talented yet troubled, wounded dark knight. Oh, did we mention that he's also a fat bastard?
One day, during one of his many crying fits on his father's bed after just being brutally sodomized, he drew inspiration and courage from his father's semen dribbling out of his bruised, puckered asshole. Thus, Max Harris Music was born, an abhorrent Jewtube channel that contains the highly retarded song, "Stronger", which simply features a low-res, black and white picture of Max Harris looking brooding and troubled. The song itself is pitiful, and is full of fail and AIDS.
However, the channel also contains the far more lulzy song, "High", in which Max has been kind enough to produce a god-awful music video to accompany the "music", culminating in three of your senses being raped, as you can literally taste fecal matter while viewing.
Oh sweet Christ, it's almost too perfect. He's either the greatest troll to ever live or the best Justine Beiber impersonator the world has ever known.
The lyrics primarily consist of him singing about how he wants to do heroin and that he doesn't afraid of anything, while sensually grinding against the brick wall of his house in his back garden, utilising a wide-angle lens so we can see just how ugly this fucker is. Bonus lulz for the scene where he pretends to break down and cry like the bitch he is.
—Max Harris, on losing the battle against puberty. | ||
Oh, and he also attempts to do pop-style street dancing in the alley next to his house, resulting in what appears to be a fatty giving himself a rub-down, as well as nestling the camera in the grass and having it look up at him, in what he clearly intended to be an artsy shot, but ended up looking like he was being filmed through one of those fake-turd-cams they use in nature documentaries.
Max Harris is the perfect example of a modern tweenage boy, proving that all males his age must be lined up and summarily shot, with extreme prejudice, lest they inflict their faggotry upon us all. Nice going, Max Harris, you're the new type specimen for human vermin.
Epiphany
Thanks to Max's lolcow status, he has recieved plenty of hatemail regarding his music, leading him to have a massive bitchfit, first making all his music private, then completely deleting the song that earned him e-fame, "High". The reason for this is startlingly obvious, considering that he left the other song (without a music video of him acting like a retard) intact.
He apparantely has no clue that other people have mirrored and mocked his dancing for the world to see.
Max released this lulzy Tumblr post claiming that the reason he took down "High" was because he thought it was bad to promote drug use. He also claims that he took it down because it was viewed negatively, and that he wanted people to have fun when watching the video, completely raping his own cover story; we're all having fun, just at his expense.
—[1] |
See Also
- Tween
- 13 year old boy
- Music
- Justin Bieber
- Jenkem - what this fag gets high on
External Links
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Max Harris is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Featured article August 1 & 2, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by First World Problems |
Max Harris | Succeeded by Linux for Niggers |
