Marissa Marchant
Marissa Marchant was an epic powerhouse of lulztainment in 2004. She was so epic in fact that the internet itself couldn't contain her and had to delete every last trace of her so it could sustain itself at the pathetic level of existence you see it today. Marissa Marchant was not just a creator of music; she was an artist who wove beautiful melodies and rose above the temptation to sell out to a record label. You would never understand how fucking awesome her music was, only Marissa herself knew that. To prove this point she would only sell copies of her album for $1000 each.
—Marissa Marchant, commenting on how Fried chicken and Music are the same thing | ||
By itself this would be pretty lulz-worthy, if only briefly. But the whole thing went epic when she released a few sample tracks and put them up for free download on her site for a short while. Like dropping a bucket of meat into a pit full of hungry lions, pandemonium broke out. Several sites gave rave reviews about the music and various forums broke out in what was dubbed Marissagate.
Possibly the internet would have found something better to do but it soon became apparent that Marissa had hired a team of researchers to google her name every 5 seconds to find out what was being said about her, and like some kind of mythical beast she would descend upon each thread and tear it to pieces with her artistic claws of wrath, resulting in massive drama and epic lulz as half the population would in turn tear her music to shreds while inevitably the other half would defend it. Sometimes it was doubted whether it was truly her or not doing the posting, but her trademark style was usually distinguishable from imposters. Here's a perfect example of her posting style.
Marissa made huge waves on the BBC Music board when she "reviewed Nora Jones' CD
—Marissa Marchant | ||
Later, the world learned that Marissa Marchant is gone off thenet because of you and even more seriously You never her. She later changed her artist name to Maerisza Sabrael.
Marissa's article on TOW was put up for deletion once, and then again later but not before she herself edited the discussion exposing her IP address and her contributions, including this interesting post to the Justin Hayward talk page. She further elaborated on her webpage
—Marissa Marchant | ||
After a dramatic exit from The Internets it seemed she's gone off the online grid for good - but in the end, Marissa couldn't stand the idea of disappearing forever and not writing herself as one of the greats in the history of music.
She relaunched her brand, time after time, as Virgo Rouge, Mariesza Sabrael, Marissa Elienne and under tons of other nicknames, each time reusing mostly the same songs. She kept trolling other musicians on YouTube, posting offensive and bragging comments under videos of every musician she believed to be less talented and more famous than herself - from Kate Bush to Eurythmics to a blind prog musician wunderkind Rachel Flowers. Over the years, the crazy got crazier and she developed several conspiracy theories about being gangstalked and under surveillance of Evil Government Forces, she defended a self-admitted paedophile, supported Jewish supremacy movement, pretended to be Nordic/German/Polish/Jewish, as well as developed a habit of eating everything raw (including liver) and smearing her hair with oil, successfully evoking a classic crazy hobo woman style. As of early July 2018, she posts her works and rants as Svefreya Greta Ragnhild and Marissa Eliene Nadieja, though that is likely to change. Watch this space, music lovers!
Poetry
Marissa was also a master poet:
Intermittent Slob
dirt, dirt, more dirt, clean it with your spit and skirt
cotton balls, towels on walls... messiness alert
this intermittent slobby side has come to be my battle
when all is scrubbed and sweeky clean, come heards of bull and cattle
I've blamed the bulls, tornado, wolves, some nuclear explosion
but I know best, my inner quest, to conquer this in motion.
Audio proof
GRAB THESE BEFORE THE LEGAL JUGGERNAUT OF MARISSA MARCHANT FINDS OUT!
Green Tea. You'll know it's worth $1000 when you get to 3:52.
EMU. Awesome levels of production
For You. uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Related Articles
- Sarah Nyberg
- Flabby Marchant - what Marissa really is
Links
http://www.sfweekly.com/2005-12-21/music/the-price-is-variable/
