LBC Lulz News/"For Sherrod", By Meepsheep
For Sherrod
Sherrod struggled to make it to the kitchen. The morbidly obese woman had actually walked all the way from her computer to replenish supplies; she had two strokes on the way. An oozing greasy mix of sweat and Mountain Dew dribbled from her chin as she grabbed as many bags of Cheetos as her stubby fat arms could hold.
“Ugg.” she panted, “Hey, ajt! We need more uhh... pizza rolls!”
“Anything for you Sherrod.” her man-bitch relpied.
“I uhh.. I thi-”
She wasn't even able to gargle out the last of that sentence from her disgusting mouth before suffering a heart attack of unrealistic proportions. It was the third time that day that ajt had to call everyone from IRC over to help lift Sherrod.
“Uhh... soccer.” moaned Dan as he was receiving a blowjob from the dirty overweight skank (as she preferred not to repay them with money).
Life hadn't always been this luxurious for Sherrod. In her early days, she ran a website called Encyclopedia Dramatica, which was never able to pay for her unnatural eating habits. She had tried everything in her power to survive off of the site. This included giving annoying, constant pop-ups to all users, along with sinking down to doing the most horrid thing a so-called “human being” could possibly do: begging for money on the internet. However, that was all in the past. Encyclopedia Dramatica had been sold out and replaced with Ohinternet and life was enjoyable for Sherrod. She was making piles of internet Jew gold, and had all of the fattening food she could ask for. She was also living with ajt, who served as her personal maid and sex slave. It was truly all a sickening blob of filthy human swine could ever want, and then some.
When her large greasy ass sat down in front of her computer, she was made aware of what was to be the most difficult struggle she would ever endure in her humdrum life. The internet was after her. Ohinternet had been DDoSed, a new Encyclopedia Dramatica had burst from the shadows, and pictures of her wrenched nude body were plastered all over the world wide web. Tears ran down her chubby face, and conformed with the various greases and other liquids present.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
At this point, ajt was hiding like an abused puppy in fear of Sherrod's wrath. Unfortunately, she did not go ape-shit and murder him out of rage. Rather, she suffered yet another heart attack and was immediately hospitalized. It took 15 paramedics to lift her.
To the disappointment of many, Sherrod did not die. She was soon able to leave the hospital, with the world against her and a DMCA notice to file.
