The never-ending saga of the graet and powerful Ke$ha has led to numerous dramatic happenings that don't tie into Ke$ha's main tale enough to warrant taking up space in her already ridiculously long article. Presented here are some of the lulziest happenings related to Ke$ha and her dramathon. Enjoy!
#RIPArseholeNicole
The scene of Nicole Kim Garcia's fatal accident.The aftermath.Child blown up by July 4th fireworks, more on this at 11.Dedicated to the memory of 11-year-old Nicole Kim Garcia.Nicole Kim Garcia took Ke$ha's advice and died young.Ashley Smith desu.Ashley's depressingly pathetic self portrait.Goodnight, sweet bitch.
On July 4, 2013, an 11-year-old Ke$ha fan by the name of Nicole Kim Garcia (a.k.a. iWillMarryKesha) tragically died young when her Little Tikes Cozy Coupe hit a racoon while speeding down the sidewalk at 5 km/h and then spontaneously burst into flames. Paramedics attempted to save young Nicole, but unfortunately the nearby water bucket that they attempted to douse the flames with was actually filled with gasoline and resulted in Nicole's brutally mangled corpse looking like an over-cooked piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken that even a nigger wouldn't touch.
An investigation into the incident later determined that that the explosion was the result of Nicole attempting to smuggle illegal fireworks across the Mexican border into the Jewnited States.
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Nicole died from a car accident. This is her father.
Upon learning of her BFF's tragic demise, iGlitterPuss (Powerword: Ashley Smith) started the hashtag #RIPAnimalNicole – Which quickly began trending due to the whole story behind it being SO FUCKING SAD!!111
Eventually, Ke$ha herself took notice of the trend and offered her sincere condolences. She then dedicated her July 5, 2013, performance at Rock Werchter in Belgium to the loving memory of 11-year-old Nicole Kim Garcia. And by "performance" we're of course referring to her simulating masturbation and dry humping some of her male dancers on stage. Srsly.
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my heart is broken. I'm so so sorry.
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—Ke$ha apologizes for only killing one kid this time
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on the way to my show and saw this. I'm so sorry for her family and friends.today this show is for you.
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—Ke$ha, dedicating her next performance to Nicole "Crashy" Garcia
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After realizing that Ke$ha herself had used the #RIPAnimalNicole hashtag that she had started, Ashley's attention soon shifted from crying over her dead friend and began turning into blatant gloating over the fact that Ke$ha had used the retarded hashtag that she had started. Yes, this girl whose best friend had just died was bragging over the fact that she managed to get her friend's death noticed by a stupid whore of a pop-star.
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I finally feel like I worth something. I made @keshasuxx discover the dead animal. This is the greatest honor could be.
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—Ashley Smith, reaching the high point of her life
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It's still unbelievable that @keshasuxx used the trend for @iwillmarrykesha that I started.. I'm so sad for Nicole...
If Nicole wasn't already seriously considering suicide as a final solution, then she certainly would be after the Animals found out that she tricked Ke$ha into paying attention to her for about 5 minutes.
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Ke$ha, Nicole is alive -.- the girl who started #RipAnimalNicole said so. and so did her friend in real. I can't belive this...
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—xAngelWingss, informing Ke$ha that she's a dumbfuck
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#RIPANIMALNICOLE was fake...? Now I wished it was real.
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—MachineGunLOVEE, wishing death upon an 11-year-old
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people actually believed that girl died? Her 'father' tweeted on her account with terrible grammar. It was obviously fake #RIPANIMALNICOLE 😡
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—jackmorgansuxx, finally noticing human stupidity
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Will this bullshit event bring Die Young back into the charts?
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—jonathonzayn, wanting 20 moar dead kids
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It's amazing how low people go to get their idol's attention... I hope you know @keshasuxx is gonna be disgusted when she finds out.
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—Jackie Quinlan, being amazed by human stupidity
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#RIPANIMALNICOLE No shut up the fuck. I already heard that was fake. #AnimalDrama
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—NiCoco_Rose, STFU I KNOW IT'S FAKE
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Michael died reading Kesha's tweets about #RIPANIMALNICOLE. This is his father
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—goyyboy, resting in peace
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So is this girl Nicole..... died, alive, semi-died???? I'm confused. #RIPANIMALNICOLE
First of all, I was REALLY hacked. It happened when my brother hid my laptop from me 'cause I was grounded. When he returned it, I saw the hate/rip tweets for me. When I saw that Ke$ha got involved, I almost wanted to kill myself. That hacker got me in a huge mess. Ke$ha even dedicated a show for me. This is so fucked up. People hate me now. I didn't get to sleep for 2 days because I kept on thinking about the haters. Now that I decided to ignore the haters, I'm trying my best to get things back where they belong. I feel so sorry for Ke$ha. She doesn't need to get involved in this mess tbh. I'm so sorry for everyone. I am deeply sorry. I hope you guys understand and will eventually forgive me. Once again, I am so sorry.
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—Nicole Kim Garcia
NICE TRY, BITCH!
The Bullying of Maggie Lindemann
#FreeKesha supporters bullied this girl for not supporting Ke$ha.Carter Reynolds, half-AZN paedophile douchebag.A picture of Carter Reynolds taken from a different angle.Duckfaced cunt and cyberbully Madison Beer.Professional Mettaton cosplayer Jeffree Star.Jeffree, looking even fruitier than the last photo.
Maggie Lindemann (usually referred to by Ke$ha's fans as "Cunt" or "Fatty") is a singer, songwriter, and the ex-girlfriend of a Viner and massive attention whoring faggot named Carter Reynolds. Maggie has accused Carter of being sexually abusive, but there's one small fact that makes Maggie's accusations against Carter far more credible that Ke$ha's accusations against Dr. Luke – Maggie actually has evidence that proves her claims.
In early 2015, a hacker managed to break into Carter Reynolds' private accounts and leaked a video – The video showed 19-year-old Carter Reynolds pressuring a visibly uncomfortable and possibly inebriated 16-year-old Maggie Lindemann into having sex. Not only did the video prove that Carter Reynolds is a disgusting paedophile and rapist – It also proved that he is a child pornographer.
A dramatic reenactment of Carter Reynold's child rape video.
After Ke$ha was denied an injunction, Maggie took to Twitter and voiced her opinions.
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stop assuming
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—Maggie, giver of good advice
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bc she wants out of her contract ??
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—Maggie, explaining why Ke$ha might have lied
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that she's telling the truth, nobody knows the full story, just because she says something doesn't mean it's true
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—Maggie, explaining what people are assuming
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sorry but you can't believe everything, some people are twisted and make up things
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—Maggie, being an intelligent young woman
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Maggie Lindemann proved that common sense wasn't dead yet – A fact that the Social Justice Warriors didn't take kindly to and quickly sought to rectify by relentlessly bullying a 16-year-old girl.
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Maggie Lindemann is a ugly, disgusting ignorant cunt
Maggie Lindemann was sexually assaulted herself, yet chooses not to support Kesha??? Da fuq??
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—K†NG K†LL, attacking an assault survivor who called out Ke$ha's bullshit
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rape has permanent affects on the victim and everybody around them... you got told to kill yourself and youre crying
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—hslaurent, informing a rape victim that rape has permanent effects
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a stupid girl who actually was abused by carter reynolds and said kesha was lying about being abused lmao
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—gunsforjoshler
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Even Maggie's supposed "friend" and fellow 16-year-old girl, Madison Beer, took to Twitter to harass Maggie – As did Jeffree Star (Powerword" Jeffree Lynn Steininger✡), a moderately famous make-up artist and transsexualfaggot.
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@MaggieLindemann as a woman should be ashamed of yourself. How do you even look in the mirror every morning?
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—Jeffree Star, being a typical pink-haired trannyfaggot
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This CUNT @MaggieLindemann called Kesha a LIAR then deleted her tweets. You're irrelevant. Bye bye now
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—Jeffree Star, calling Maggie a cunt
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I don't want the respect from a cunt who jokes about sexual assault. You're SCUM
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—Jeffree Star, calling Maggie a cunt after she apologized
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don't state an opinion on social media and not expect hate. but @MaggieLindemann there ya go girly
so sick & wrong... and the fact that there are people out there accusing her of lying is just..
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—Madison Beer, unable to cope with the fact that everyone lies
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not only being raped kills, but being raped then being accused of lying about it kills. remember that
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—Madison Beer, believing that rape and words are murder
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Juliana Beasley Exposes Dr. Luke!
What an 18-year-old whore looks like.What an 80-year-old whore looks like.This woman has "problematic" written all over her.She's a lesbian now.
One of the most hilarious pieces of evidence that the #FreeKesha supporters have presented in their endless quest to frame Dr. Luke are a series of YouTube comments by a woman named Juliana Beasley. The comments, which were made on videos related to Dr. Luke, begin with a completely random remark about Chet Baker and then segway into a long, boring rant about how she thinks Dr. Luke is an arsehole – The comments then end with a sudden and nonchalant claim that she knows all of this because she dated him 20 fucking years ago.
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He used to like Chet Baker. He had some humility but he also was an arrogant vile networking backstabbing prick. He said some pretty cruel things about people around him before he became successful including me. I know because I dated him. He liked to surround himself with strippers who could pay his way... so, I'm not surprised that someone who had so much musical integrity and style went into such a soulless business and was immensely successful. He is right where he belongs..
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—Juliana Beasley, on Dr. Luke
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Oh, and he was a lot hotter at 18 when I dated him. He is undoubtedly a very talented musician and was always really dedicated to his work. I know the Lukasz that I knew back in 1992 would have laughed at the bubble gum pop he is producing now. But, then again, I'm sure he is laughing his way all the way to the bank. Well done!!
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—Juliana Beasley, on Dr. Luke
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I regret saying anything derogatory about him on this forum. He is an extremely talented and versatile person. I am really happy that he has become very successful.
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—Juliana attempts to backtrack
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saddened to see that you cannot support my documentary work which highlights the lives of people who have been disregarded in society. No one likes spam but this was the first time I sent you something. So, thank you for unsubscribing to my Gmail account and I will make sure that I will lose my subscription to yours. It's good to open and honest and I can see that your cause is the only cause for you.
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—Juliana Beasley, spamming a woman on YouTube and then being a cunt to her
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Apparently Juliana's experience dating Luke was so bad that it caused her to become a man-hating lesbian feminazi, as she now has a girlfriend named Victoria Ford and wears glasses so problematic that she makes Laci Green look like a normal human being.
As if all of this "evidence" wasn't already hilarious enough, it turns out that Juliana Beasley herself was actually a stripper and prostitute at the time that she claims to have dated Dr. Luke!!111 And if that still wasn't hilarious enough, it turns out that she was using her job as a stripper as an opportunity to pursue a career in photography – By turning her numerous creepshots of her fellow strippers into an "art" book entitled Lapdancer. Yes, srsly.
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Determined to supplement her meager income as a novice photographer, Juliana Beasley embarked on an eight-year odyssey as a professional nude dancer, specializing in “lap dances,” during which a woman dances above a seated customer, erotically brushing against his body. From New York to Reno, Beasley worked in over two dozen strip clubs, dancing for twenty dollars a song, experiencing the rewards and pitfalls of the profession: variable income, flexible schedules, emotional and physical exhaustion, sex industry camaraderie—and an arrest for prostitution.
Though she was a professional dancer, Beasley never forgot the purpose of her studies in documentary work. Along with negligees and stilettos, she regularly brought a camera to the clubs, and began recording testimonies from the managers, dancers, and patrons. The result is Lapdancer, an inside look at the world of professional nude dancing. Culled from thousands of photographs and hours of interviews, Beasley documents an oft-derided but rarely understood culture—one tightly codified by rules and behavior, and peopled with characters from a David Lynch film.
Through these pictures and interviews Beasley—a sex industry Virgil—guides us through the erotic dancer circuit, detailing its ruthless economic underpinnings and the intimate, anonymous currency between dancer and customer. Here, at what was once society’s fringe, Beasley depicts mainstream culture’s new evolving definitions of sexuality, gender politics, capitalism, therapy—even love.
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—Amazon's description of her book
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During much of the 1990s, there was a hidden voyeur in the strip clubs of the East Coast tristate area: a stripper with a camera. A graduate of NYU's Tisch School of the Arts and an assistant to Annie Leibovitz, Beasley danced and stripped for $20 a lap. While trying to save up money, and avoid exhaustion and arrest, she turned her camera on fellow dancers and the customers who paid for them. More than 150 of her full-color photographs are gathered here, none altered, capturing everything from hilariously subdued patrons to wryly mocking workers in various states of undress. Over nine years, Beasley's camera acquired a kind of nonchalance that avoids oversensationalizing the clubs. Men stare at dancers like deer in the headlights; dancers take smoke breaks while clad raffishly in (recently acquired?) men's underwear. Every sort of awkward, lurid position people get into in strip clubs is unblinkingly revealed in a brash layout of full-page photos, while occasional and commentary by dancers, patrons or Beasley herself are moving and honest. Beasley notes that many patrons were "pleased with the role reversal, with being objectified"-the kind of paradox that makes this book a luridly shrewd pleasure.
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—Publishers Weekly
Despite all of this, there's still no evidence that she dated Luke and it would seem fairly safe to assume that she may only be butthurt at him because he didn't stuff enough cash into her knickers – Understandable considering that she was likely the homeliest stripper in existence at the time.
iGlitterPuss (Powerword: Ashley Smith) started the hashtag 
A glimpse inside Juliana's highly artistic book, Lapdancer.
Prostitution!
Niggers!
That's a man, baby!
Richard Dawkins and a prostitute.
This is probably one of Beasley photos, but we don't care enough to check.
She even photographs paedophiles and their prey.
