Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 3, 2023

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Metal is often mistaken for music, when it is actually made of fail and Aids. The "lyrics" are always about elves, pixies, dragons, suicide, Satan, getting grounded by your mom, hatred for girls who won't put out, murder, and shit nobody cares about. Metal is usually mistaken for emo "music", but there is 1 difference. Emos cut themselves and 'metalheads' cut other people and themselves. The way to be an TRUE METALHEAD!!! Is to be a nonconformist. All you need to do to be one of the nonconformists is to wear the same clothes, listen to the same music, have the same hair, have the same opinions and act like all the other metalheads. The majority of metal fans listen to metal and only metal. They will claim to listen to jazz and classical music also which both are actually in some metal. In reality they will probably own a couple of MP3s of Miles Davis or Holst, to which they listen to only after smoking profuse amounts of pot. They only claim to listen to these styles of music in order to give their tastes some kind of validity, as many would say their favorite genre is some of the worst fuck ever shat out of mankind's ass. The distinguished metal listener listens to a wide variety of skilled musicianship, abstract genres, and is dedicated to becoming a skilled musician.


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