Dstohl
Famously called an 'Idiot' by ED übergenius and famous newspaper editor Aghar, (so he should know) Dave Stohl, or DStohl, is a creepy, white-haired old man who sits in a room illuminated only by an outdated computer monitor in Intercourse, Moldavia. He is employed by B. L. Zeebub Industries, a lesser known reverse-trolling website of questionable content and productivity that preys upon unsuspecting Christian types. While not strictly Satanic himself, Mr. Stohl is known to occasionally mumble obscenities, stare at breasts, (any breasts) and mercilessly troll MySpace for adventure. On the plus side, DStohl is extremely dedicated to the lulz, and states with conviction that’s what he did it for. That’s what he’s always done it for.
Dave’s Biography
In his own words:
"After dropping out of high school I joined a circus and obtained employment feeding non-essential parts of my body to animals in a fifty cent side show. Billed as 'Kalvin Kan, The Amazing Anthropocentric Organ Grinder', I prospered there until the show went bankrupt due to lagging interest and several climacteric legal proceedings. Insolvent and without any real prospects, I sold plasma, which provided me with enough money to survive. And although it wasn't actually my own plasma, it eventually allowed me to save enough money to invest in a famous nation-wide chain of drive-thru liquor and gun shops. Although my 'Speedy Bullets And Bourbon' franchise did provide me with a tidy revenue, the combination of driving, firearms and drunkenness were inexplicably becoming 'politically incorrect', so I wisely sold my share in the enterprise to The Branch Davidians. It was then that I developed an interest in religious profiteering, so I invested my capital into a remunerative ideology and created 'The Church Of The Benign Idea', a quasi-religious organization which espoused the ideals of meddlesome indoctrination and ungoverned venality. As ticket boy and minister of propaganda, I was free to further my individual conception of moralistic reality, while at the same time reaping the benefits of an opportune non-taxable income. However, due to an embarrassing sexual tryst I had with an entire Tupperware party in 1990, I was compelled to resign my position by my congregation due to what were described as 'moral anachronisms'. So it was then that I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air."
Where He Is Now
It was at that point in Dave’s life that he was forced to find employment in a field with absolutely no moral center or ethical code. He then considered either turning to prostitution or becoming an attorney. Then, in a bold notion, he had the inspiration to combine the two professions, but the title of Judicial Pimp-izle just raised too many eyebrows in the heart of white-bread America. Scandalized, financially exasperated and politically destitute, Dave went utterly insane and moved back to his home town of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where his previous experience with bodily fluids and Tupperware helped him to obtain a position as tour guide at the Berkshire Museum's Ancient Egyptian Plastic Canoptic Jar display, where he is employed to this day. (*NOTE: This information could not be verified.)
What He Is Doing At This Very Moment
When not peeking in your windows, Dstohl occasionally makes minor and meaningless changes to ED, after which he rubs his hands together and snickers quietly to himself in his darkened room. He also enjoys making BBQ pictures of famous celebrities and internet tough guys, (yes, that's you Mike, and if you actually had the brains to follow the trail this far I congratulate you! But you still smoke cock, tough guy, LOLZ), and also passes himself off as a horny squirrel on MySpace, after which he again rubs his hands together and snickers quietly to himself in his darkened room. He prefers to fap to hairy 1970’s porn.
