Jim Traficant
James Anthony Traficant Jr. better known as Jim to his friends, G-D by inmates that wanted a friendly cell-mate and didn't want to be nicknamed Teacup in the Mahoning County Jail. Others have called him a man among men, a boss of bosses and certain crowds would even describe him as, "That guy who can help with getting your problem fixed for a little something something," because the Feds had nicknamed him Rico, after the Federal law that deals with organized crime and racketeering.
Jim Traficant is perhaps, the last great native son from what now can only be described as the mediocre, rotting from within, former Great State of Ohio. Only able to produce such prosaic figures the likes of Drew Carey, Ed O'Neil and Katie Holmes, Jim Traficant has been elevated to the stuff of legends and has become a part of Ohio's collective unconscious, because as most students, from the state, can't name a President from Ohio, let alone tge current one, they all know who Jim Traficant is, usually answering with, "That Lulzy ass motherfucker that mooned Janet Reno during a congressional hearing."
Early Life
Jim Traficant grew up at the tail end of a growing enlightenment period in the modern age of Youngstown, Ohio history that is best known by the names given to it by historical experts such as Murdertown USA, Little Chicago and "If you're a Dago guinea wop greaseball goomba, you'll pay that Polack kid Ten Dollars to start your car if you're smart."
Being of Italian descent and born in a city where the average life span of anyone with a penis is 45 if they had no other options then to follow their family's blue collar traditions and pride that would take them down a road where they became slowly riddled with tumors until one day, they decide that the smart thing to do is to get drunk and work up enough courage to stand on the guard rail of a bridge crossing a river and give themselves a shotgun dental exam. Hopefully, if they did it right, they'll fall into the river, float far enough downstream so the gun is lost and when their body is found, it looks more like a murder instead of a suicide earning their family a double pay-out on their life insurance.
Facing few options, Jim Traficant realized what many kids in his same predicament do and that the only way for someone from his upbringing and societal value to make money is by either being a Cop or by getting involved in organized crime. Looking to hedge his bets, Jim decided on both.
It was during his tenure as Sheriff of Mahoning County Ohio that Traficant upset and became an enemy of the ✡Jewish✡ bankers when he became a National Hero by refusing to execute foreclosure orders on unemployed homeowners. He hoped to buy them enough time to find new work so they can keep their houses rather than see them loose everyghing. Fearing that they might have another messianic hero on their hands who might become an example and infect other Sheriffs and law officers with his idea of refusing to uphold their sworn duties for no other reason then because they think it's the right thing to do, The Jews, feeling the need to make an exampke of someone and scare their soldiers bzck into submission had Traficant charged with racketeering and accepting charges in 1983.
Traficant became a cult hero, overnight, when he represented himself and was acquitted of all charges when he claimed that he accepted the bribes only as part of his own alleged secret undercover investigation into corruption, becoming the only person in Americunt History to win a Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) case while representing himself.
Embrassing the loyalty of his new found acolytes that revered him for his victory against The US Justice Department's attempted crucifixion of a rightous man, Traficant decided to ride their exaltation straight into a place where men of his character are always the norm. In a "Beverly Hillbillies" style montage and Jim playing out a few of his favorite scenes from the original version of Walking Tall, he found that the faith of his apostles was enough to deliver him straight to D.C. when he was elected to the House Of Represenatives where he fathered the whole Blue Collar And Proud Of It scene that became popular in the 1980s as more and more American jobs were being sent to China.
