Gerard Butler
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Gerrard Butler is a Scottish actor. He's most widely known for his role as King Leonidas, who led a legion of 300 Spartans to their deaths last Thursday, as well as another legion, that of his psychotic fans.
TARTS
The Gerard Butler Tart Army is a rabid pack of floozies, who spend their every waking (and sleeping) minute lusting after "300" star hunk Gerard Butler.
How to Be a Tart
1. Stalking Gerard Butler, his family, or 'people,' is perfectly fine as long as you regularly state how horrible stalking is (for legal reasons). If said non-stalking results in legal recourse, you must not allow yourself to be identified as someone involved with the site. 2. Only top-tier members with access to our 'members only' forums may speculate on Gerard Butler's body, personality, family, or personal life. If this occurs outside of this forums, thread posters must be spanked like a naughty child. "Speculation" includes:
A. Body
I. Scarring
II. Chemical and/or Cosmetic Enhancement
III. Aging
IV. Weight Gain and/or Loss
V. Penis Size
B. Personality
I. Behavior
II. Religious Beliefs
III. Political Beliefs
IV. Morality
C. Family
I. Relationship With (including step-family and deceased)
II. Sainthood of Mother
III. Appearances, Personalities, or Personal Lives of
D. Personal Life
I. Girlfriends (unless slandering women UNCONFIRMED as girlfriend)
II. Possible Homosexuality (BECAUSE HE'S NOT GAY, DAMMIT!!!!!)
III. Sexual Partners, Experience, etc.
IV. Future or Unknown Existing Children
Again, this is only applicable OUTSIDE of 'members-only' forums. In those forums, members may speculate, lie their asses off, or in delusion claim any of the above.
3. Only 'members' are real fans and therefore only they are worthy enough to speak of Gerard Butler. If one was not a fan since BEFORE "The Phantom of the Opera," then they don't really love Gerard Butler for Gerard Butler and that is not true love.
4. Only 'members' who attend gb.net conventions on a regular basis, even at the expense of personal finances, job security, or mortgages are also not 'true' fans.
5. 'Members' are required to phantasize about phucking the Phantom phor at least phive hours a day or phorty hours a week. Phantasy is the phoundation of phandom.
6. Initiation is required. This may include but is not limited to:
A. At least 3 "Non-Stalking" occurrences where Gerard Butler is actually met AND interacted with. B. A contest with at least 10 other pledges involving the speed-licking of chocolate off of Andre Marek dolls (only the winner is initiated). C. A stop-motion animation video at least the length of a standard movie retelling the "Phantom" in a way so that Christine stops being a bitch and the Phantom doesn't get phucked over by that fop Raoul. D. Forcing your significant other to dress in full costume with you as Leonidas and Gorgo (appearance must meet administrator approval). E. The symbolic "rubbing of the codpiece" over the pledge's face and body. F. Fanfiction retelling each and every movie that [Gerard Butler] has been in giving his character the most favorable ending possible (i.e. instead of Jackie Junior being a criminal getting killed in an illegal guns deal in a crap-ass movie, he's a superhero who saves a whole bunch of schoolchildren and marries a princess!).
Somewhere AWAY From 300 Spartans...
Lived a tortured soul with a hideous facial deformity under the Opera Populaire. The Phantom of the Opera. Before 300 hit, Butler played the title role in the movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical. While many phans believe that he sounded like a dying cat as he desperately reached for the notes that his stage counterparts could hit with little effort, there are still others who believe he sounded like "The Angel of Music" himself and yearn for him at LEAST as much as the 300 fangirls.
