Honey Boo Boo
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This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from moar information about the family, a lulzy gallery, and other fucktarded boo boo shit. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page. |
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Warning! HONEY BOO BOO IS COMING! ALL HANDS ON DECK! MAN THE HARPOONS!!!! BRING OUT THE VEGGIE DISH!!!!!! |
Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson; Runny Poo Poo; Money woo hoo) is a redneck, obese little girl who stars in her own reality show called "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". She's also a beauty pageant participant in her home state of Georgia. That fact alone explains why everything about and in Alana’s life can be described in one word: Fail.
Boo Boo’s personality is like a thirteen year old boy’s when playing Call of Duty, where she acts like a fucking snob because she has moar achievements than you or she is famous while you dwell in your mom’s basement, only to get pwnt five seconds later.
Show
The “show”, if you could even call it that, revolves around the fucktarded life of a 7 year old redneck girl who happens to compete in beauty pageants. She is a “beauty queen”, because apparently overweight saggy undeveloped little girls are considered attractive in Georgia. So, as you can guess, all we watch is the typical drama that ensues around the household of the beauty bitch. The first episode sums it all up: “This is my crazy family”. Oh, and the writers are geniuses when it comes to naming the holiday themed episodes (A very boo Halloween; A very boo Christmas).
The only fans of this show are rednecks who admire their family values, women (ZOMG HONIE BOO BOO IZ SOOO CUUTTEE!!!!!:D), and old pedophiles who don't know how to Internet, so they are forced resort to child pageant shows for their fap material.
Canceled due to Pedophilia
Although TLC is happy to run a show catering almost entirely to pedophiles, after an accusation that Mama June was dating Mark McDaniel, a child molester who was just released from prison after serving 10 years for forcing oral sex on an 8 year old relative of Mama June, TLC decided to pull the plug on the show. This may just be an excuse to cancel the show, considering its ratings were dropping and TLC wouldn't have aired the show in the first place if it didn't want to help pedophiles get off.
Mama June claims that she broke up with McDaniel 10 years ago and has not had any contact with him since. She claims all of the pictures of her with McDaniel are edited, although this is clearly untrue because she's so fat any photoediting software will crash if you try to paste in a picture of her. She claims she would never put her children in danger, despite that she doesn't deny dating McDaniel 10 years ago when he was actively abusing children and despite that her living for the past few years has come from exploiting her daughter on TV as pedo bait.
Family
June Shannon
June “Mamma” Shannon is the retarded fat douchette responsible for all this faggotry. She is the mastermind behind all of this child exploitation taking place. Also, she is a former “beauty queen” herself. She supports her inbred family by, you guessed it, abusing the alimony system. She had four children with four different people. June invented “Go Go Juice”, which is shoved down Boo Boo’s throat to get her focused during pageants. It consists a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. This has caused much drama, to which June replies “I could be givin ma daughtar worse things, like drugs or alcohol”. She also claims not to hate gays.
Mike Thompson
Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson is June’s current husband (but not her last). Nobody gives a shit about him, so he can go fuck himself…
Sisters
Good god there’s more? Well, at least they aren’t as butt ugly as their little sis. Again, no one gives a fuck. They are all teenagers, so there you have their personalities. They seem to conclude the family evolution process of the Thompson/Shannon family: Ugly to meh to fugly.
Glitzy the Pig
Like all hillbillies, they have to have at least one livestock take the place of the family dog. Glitzy is just another gimmick to get retarded bitches into the show (OMG SOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUTE!1!1!1!1XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD).
Memorable Quotes
—Jessica | ||
—Honey Boo Boo | ||
—June | ||
—Honey Boo Boo describes their tranny pig | ||
—June, talking about her faggy brother in law | ||
—June | ||
Honey Boo Boo's Mother Drawn on a Potato
See also
- Jerry Springer
- Fat
- Incest
- Paula Deen, another fattie with a TV show
- Redneck
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Honey Boo Boo is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
