Midwest FurFest

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Midwest FurFest, the most attended furry convention in the fandoms history, is a hotbed for scum and degenerates to meetup and sell each other poorly drawn animal body pillows, when they're not having sex in animal costumes. You're likely unsurprised that a convention for animal cruelty has had a history of pedophiles, zoophiles and even Milo Yiannopoulos in attendance. What you might not expect is the conventions history of attacking it's visitors, thanks to a famous gas attack.

Gas Attack

 
"We didn't start the fire. It was always burning, since the world's been turning."

In 2014, the Midwest Furfest was being held at the Hyatt hotel in Rosemont, Illinois. The convention seemed to go well, the sounds of obese-sex and child grooming could be heard from miles around. The 15th annual furfest seemed to be going off without a hitch, until the 7th December, when at 12:40 am, one attendee was sewing repairs on their blue wolf costume before he was suddenly sent into a coughing fit. Soon another attendee started chocking, then another, and quickly the hotel was evacuated and 19 were hospitalised. Police were soon sent to investigate and they quickly declared that the hotel was full of toxic gas.

 

So what had happened? Some unknown animal abuser has snuck in a large container of powdered chlorine and had smashed it on the 9th floor stairwell. Obviously this was intentional, the chlorine hadn't smashed itself, but it was unclear whether this was an attempt to purify the world and remove a couple freaks from the gene pool, or they had acted out after misplacing their ADHD medication. Midwest put out a PR statement, trying as hard as possible to emphasise that the attack had nothing to do with their organization, and because of this, there would be no refunds or compensation for those effected by the attack.

Controversial Attendees

 
Welcome to the most magical place on Earth, second to Auschwitz.

It's hardly a surprise that a furry convention would attract all kinds of disturbed, costumed-creeps. Here's a list of the more exotic, rare and endangered losers who inhabit this forest.

Lucky Coyote

Despite covid disrupting nearly every in-person event, FurFest 2020 somehow managed to chug along, in part thanks to aids and dog-sperm having beaten kung-flu to the punch. In the middle of the convention, a furry calling themself "qutens" went to twitter to accuse a prominent member of the furry community as an abuser. An attendant at FurFest, "Lucky Coyote", who also went by "Blonde Foxy" was accused of abusing multiple members of the furry community in an incredibly long and boring google document.

Document accusing Lucky Coyote.

Not only is Lucky Coyote heavily involved in the community and was treated as a celebrity at FurFest, but they're also the co-founder of "Don't Hug Cacti", one of the most successful (and profitable) fursuit makers in the US. These allegations got Coyote banned from the convention and saw Don't Hug Cacti removed from the list of vendors allowed at FurFest.

Hund the Hound, Lilly the Fox & Christian Furry Fellowship

Hund the Hound is a 33 year old furry who's belief in Christ our saviour, is somehow not in conflict with his love of animal rape. Having founded the "Christian Furry Fellowship" with his wife, Lilly the Fox, they've become celebrities at FurFest for their interesting mix of fetish and faith. Most furries are gay, lesbian or some other defect, meaning they consider themselves a part of the LGBT community and thus refuse to associate with religion at it threatens judgement, and represents the much needed wake-up call needed in their lives. Using FurFest as a platform to advertise the Christian Furry Fellowship, the largest Christian furry community still operating today, Hund tries to convert more and more freaks into his sacrilegious trap. When not at conventions, Hund uses YouTube to prove his faith.

Milo Yiannopolous

Famous larping faggot, Milo Y, announced he would attend the 2019 FurFest. Despite his pretending to be an alt-right darling, this was a match made in heaven as Milo's defence of paedophilia, as well as his obvious homosexuality; meant he would fit right in with the regular customers of FurFest. Buying the $300 "Shiny Silver" level access to the event, Milo had also made a request to be a part of the "Politics of Fur" panel, a topic he's likely very knowledgeable in.

Obviously the furries were horrified when they heard a "notorious alt-right troll" would be in attendance. Even though Milo's metrosexuality meant he would stick out like a sore thumb, hundreds campaigned for him to be banned from the event, as his presence alone would make FurFest impossible to provide the safe and accepting atmosphere usually present. Organizers eventually banned Milo and kept his $300. It's unclear what Milo planned to do, likely be a faggot and just record random attendees and ask boring asinine questions in the hope they'd embarrass themselves on camera. It's not hard to make fun of furries, but Milo was likely going to fuck it up and only make a fool of himself, so in a strange way, the furries might have done him a favour.

Videos

News coverage of the gas attack. Why are more than half of the attendees so fat?

Even the news anchors think this is the funniest thing they've seen in their careers.

See Also

 

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